How To Nicely Tell Someone They Need To Stop Texting You
When you have vastly different communication styles with someone, it can take some time to recognize them. Perhaps you are someone who prefers listening over talking or enjoys in-person conversations over phone calls and texts. Once these differences become clear, constant communication in a way you are not interested in receiving can feel overwhelming and put you in an awkward position.
While you initially may feel bad or uncomfortable setting boundaries with people in your life, it is healthy to value your time and prioritize the communication that's effective for you. It is also very normal to act differently around various people. It's okay to have certain friends in your life that you only talk to once a month, while others call you multiple times a week. There may even be some friends that you are constantly in group chats with and it feels like the conversations never end.
Unfortunately, not all of these dynamics will work for everyone. There may be times when you give your phone number to someone and instantly regret it because of their constant, incessant text messages. Whether it was a guy at a bar, a woman on a dating app, or a friend of a friend who seemed cool at the time, trying to tell them that they are messaging you too much while still being nice can feel impossible.
Try to be honest if you can
When relationships are first starting out, you're still learning how the other person naturally operates. Therefore, this might actually be the perfect opportunity to explain how much or how little texting you enjoy. If they seem to be coming on strong with the double texting multiple times a day, ask yourself why you want them to stop. Are the messages becoming a distraction? Is it causing you to stay glued to your phone? Do you simply not enjoy talking to this person all day long?
Understanding the relationship dynamic you want to build with this person will help guide your approach. If you enjoy their company and want to continue getting to know them, consider planning something in person instead of texting each day.
According to Connection Copilot, it's important to express your needs while considering how your words will affect the other person. The reason they're constantly texting you is probably that they like you, so try not to make them feel bad or clueless.
Do what makes you feel comfortable
On the other hand, if you are getting controlling vibes from this person or feel like they're constantly "checking in" on you, it's definitely one of the relationship red flags you should never ignore. When someone doesn't respect a boundary that you have given them, it may be time to reconsider how much you want this person in your life.
This may cause you to cut contact in a less respectful way. While it can be hard to know how to tell when someone is ghosting you, resorting to avoidance techniques and ignoring messages may eventually get your point across but will likely end the relationship completely.
According to Bonobology, if ghosting is something you'd prefer to avoid, using more firm or assertive language is another option. Alternatively, you could also be more passive-aggressive with shorter responses and leave them on "read" for multiple hours between messages. Ultimately, there are many ways to convey that less communication is what you desire. The approach you choose to take simply comes down to what you think will be effective, and what makes you feel the most comfortable.