How to tell if your friendship is over

Friends truly do come and go, especially as you get older. Everyone is different, but you need to recognize the qualities you actually want to have in a bestie. You might always be wary of toxic friendships, but how do you know when things with a supposed BFF turn sour?

Hanging out with the person is exhausting

Friendships can be exhausting at times, but this should only be due to how much fun you're having together. If you're feeling emotionally drained each time you hang out, that's a sign they're sucking the life out of you. Spending time with your friends should be enriching, fun, and exciting — not exhausting.

Your friend never celebrates your achievements or good news

Friends should be happy for you whenever good things happen in your life, and you should do the same in return. Whether you get a new job or buy a new car, a solid friend should congratulate you. Intentional or not, a toxic friend will find a way to bring down your happy moments. They'll often express jealousy when you experience something positive, be it a promotion or relationship milestone. If this starts happening, it's probably time to distance yourself and hang out with someone a bit more positive.

They only talk to you to complain or vent

Be on the lookout for someone maliciously selfish, who makes everything about them and never gives you a turn. These are the friends you don't want to pick up the phone for because you know you'll spend an hour going, "Uh huh. Yeah. Right," and won't get a word in otherwise. If your friend never asks about your life or doesn't bother to hear about what's happening in your world, why should you care about theirs? You're not their psychologist. We're not saying you shouldn't hear your friends out, but these things should go both ways.

They always make you feel bad about yourself

It's pretty normal for friends to roast each other in a playful manner. It's not normal for friends to maliciously make fun of each other. There is a big difference between teasing and putting someone down. If you have a friend who makes you feel bad about yourself all the time, it's safe to say they don't have your best interests at heart.

Trying to take advantage of you on the regular

Everyone has that one friend who always shows up late or forgets to Venmo you back for brunch. You roll your eye and move on because you love them. That's perfectly normal, but there are people who will always bail on you, or mooch with no intention of ever paying you back. Flighty and forgetful friends can get annoying, but they mean no harm. If your bud is taking advantage of your good will at every opportunity, it might be time to reevaluate that friendship.

Your friend is possessive

People always talk about possessive romantic relationships, but friendships can be just as demanding. Some friendships start off fine, but even the longest friendships can fall victim to possessive behavior. If you have a companion who freaks out when you hang out with someone else, gets jealous if you're in a relationship, or tries to sabotage your other friendships, maybe it's time to put that friendship on the back burner.

You just drift apart

Not all friendships end badly. As people grow and change, so do the relationships in their lives. That's not really a bad thing! It's simply a part of life. Some friendships just wither over time, even when it's nobody's fault. Perhaps you don't have as much in common, you have new social circles, or you move. Either way, you end up singing the "We need to catch up soon!" song without ever actually doing it.

Regardless of how your friendship ends, it's important to take time to grieve its loss. Appreciate the good and understand what went wrong. Whether you've been friends for five years or five months, it's okay to be sad, angry, confused, or whatever other emotion comes your way.