The untold truth of the Trump kids

"Statistically, my children have a very bad shot," President-elect Donald Trump bluntly informed Playboy in 1990. "Children of successful people are generally very, very troubled, not successful. They don't have the right shtick."

He couldn't have been more wrong. With his three eldest, Donald Jr., Ivanka, and Eric, holding executive VP positions under the empirical Trump umbrella, 23-year-old Tiffany poised to earn her law degree, and 10-year-old Barron holding down the fort (with mom Melania) at the family penthouse in New York City at the time of this writing, the presumed First Children of president-elect Trump are atypically normal. "They don't get married for 72 days, like the Kardashians, or cause dustups at international airports, like the Brants, or end up in rehab, like innumerable other wealthy scions. They are, it seems, indefatigable workers, teetotalers, and generally responsible people," Vanity Fair observed. As their father steps into the White House in January 2017, the Trump kids prove they're ready to take on America.

They are spoiled, hard-working rich kids

Ten-year-old Barron might drive his very own kiddie Mercedes-Benz around his $100 million NYC penthouse, but as Donald Jr. described to People, the Trump kids were "spoiled the right way. Spoiled with great experiences, great surroundings, and incredible environments that really allowed us to see other incredible people and really try to emulate that."

Owning his deeply-ingrained penchant for hard work, Donald Jr. admitted to Forbes, "A lot of people probably think that we're spoiled kids. They think we show up to a [hotel] opening, cut a ribbon, and leave, and that we don't actually do anything. But that's not what we're about. My father's logic from the beginning was if you're going to have someone dig a ditch for you, you'd better know how to do it yourself. So here's your shovel. Start digging."

Trump and his first son, Donald Jr., didn't have a typical father-son relationship

"It wasn't a typical 'let's go play catch in the backyard' sort of father-son relationship," Donald Jr. shared with CNN (via Vanity Fair)."We always went to job sites with him. We'd be in his office playing with trucks as a six-year-old while he's negotiating deals with presidents of major companies."

Donald Jr. was born in 1977 to mother Ivana, Donald's first wife. Currently, he's in his late 30s, got five kids of his own, and works as executive vice president at the Trump Organization as a manager of the existing properties portfolio. "As a child, he spent several weeks every summer in a town four hours west of Prague doing father-son things with his grandfather [Milos]: fishing, boating, hunting. He also learned Czech, which he speaks fluently," New York reported.

Donald Jr.'s an ambassador for Operation Smile

"It's not the usual let's have a party for ourselves and maybe there's some leftover for the charity," Donald Jr. told the Inquirer of his jaw-droppingly successful annual fundraiser galas for Operation Smile, international provider of reconstructive surgeries for children born with facial abnormalities. "It's pro bono. It's about making sure that everything goes to the recipient — the children under the surgeons' handiwork and being able to give them the opportunity to smile."

The star-studded New York gala reportedly raised $2 million in 2015. "We've been able to raise enough money created with my friends in the network to do 50,000 operations for children all over the world and change the trajectory of their lives forever. This has been something special and meaningful to me."

Model daughter Ivanka is proud that she and her siblings didn't become drug addicts

"Look, none of us are saints. We all like to have fun. But I think our parents have just been pretty tough with us. They've always made sure that we lived within some realm of reality," Ivanka shared with New York. "I don't know how they figured it out, but they knew the perfect way to give us what we needed without it being gratuitous."

Second-born to mother Ivana, the precocious Ivanka was born in 1981. A former model who's tough as nails, the 35-year-old has three children of her own and works as executive vice president of the Trump Organization, overseeing hotels. "I look at my brothers and myself and I'm, like, really proud of the fact that nobody's, like, totally f—ed up. Nobody's a drug addict, nobody's driving around chasing women, snorting coke. There's something amazing about that. And you know, this isn't to pat myself on the back, but I could be a lot worse," she told GQ in 2007.

Ivanka lets her girl boss fly with #WomenWhoWork

With a resume as well-groomed as her style, wife, mother of three, executive vice president, founder of lifestyle brand Ivanka Trump, and author of Women Who Work: Rewriting the Rules for Success (March 2017), Ivanka proves that life is only as good you make it.

"After appearing on The Apprentice years ago and receiving a flood of letters from young women asking for guidance, I realized the need for more female leaders to speak out publicly in order to change the way society thinks and talks about "women who work." So I created a forum to do just that. This book evolves the conversation that started, and continues, on IvankaTrump.com, where so many incredible women (and men!) are coming together to share their experiences, advice, ambitions, and passions," she shares on her site.

Ivanka and her husband are resigning from their jobs and moving to Washington

While currently plotting a leave of absence from the Trump Organization as well as her own apparel brand, according to the New York Times, Ivanka says she will focus "on being an advocate on issues in which she has a personal interest, like child care." Some interpret this as a play for a senior, First Lady-style role in her father's presidency, though the Washington Post reported that "a lawyer assisting the family said that [she] will not immediately take on a formal role." Her husband Jared Kushner, on the other hand, was officially appointed into a presidential advisor position.

In a 60 Minutes interview, just after Trump had been elected, Leslie Stahl broached the subject, saying, "People think that you're going to be part of the administration, Ivanka." All-business, the eternally poised and well-rehearsed Ivanka replied, "No. I'm going to be a daughter. But I've said throughout the campaign that I'm very passionate about certain issues. And I want to fight for them."

Trump's third kid, Eric, says his older brother raised him

"[Donald Jr.'s] always been my friend, a mentor," Eric spoke of his older brother in the New York Times in 2006. "In a way, he raised me. My father, I love and I appreciate, but he always worked 24 hours a day."

Youngest child to mother Ivana, Eric arrived in the Trump family in 1984. He was just eight years old when his parents divorced, his mother gaining full custody, yet sending all three Trump kids to boarding schools to escape the subsequent media blitz. "My parents were so solid at keeping us away from it," Eric told The Washington Post, "And I think boarding school was their subtle way of also doing that." Now 32, Eric has been happily married since 2014 and is also executive vice president of Trump Organization, focusing on company assets involving golf and wine.

Eric is the only Trump kid not to graduate from Penn

Instead of walking the sacred halls of the University of Pennsylvania, like his father, older brother, and older sister before him, Eric opted instead for Georgetown. Bucking family tradition, he found success there, graduating in 2006 and currently serving on the board.

Even Tiffany — pulling a total Elle Woods and reportedly looking into graduate law programs — graduated from Penn in 2016. Only time will tell for 10-year-old Barron as to where he'll get his Flip Cup on.

Eric raised $30 million for St. Jude's Children's Hospital

Not one to rest on his laurels — or, millions — Trump's third eldest founded The Eric Trump Foundation in 2006 for the purpose of raising money for kids fighting life-threatening diseases at St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. According to the organization's website, ETF has contributed nearly $30 million to St. Jude's.

Eric's foundation has built research facilities and surgical centers at St. Jude, even identifying a gene "responsible for nearly 30% of a rare type of childhood leukemia." Eric may not have his own children yet, but he is hands-on with patients and their families. "I visit St. Jude several times a year, and each time is more special than the last… You develop amazing relationships with the parents and the children, many who weren't given a chance at life by other hospitals — it truly puts life in perspective and will completely change you as a person," he shared with Town & Country.

Eric's been wining for five years

Just outside Charlottesville, Va., Trump Winery sits on a sprawling 1,300-acre estate. And Eric has been in charge of all of it since its opening in 2011. "He chooses the designs for everything from the bridal suites to the wine labels," winery manager Ashley Rutter told Worth. "He's a guy's guy who can also pick out patterns for throw pillows."

And why would a real-estate mogul pop bottles as part of the business plan? "Because wine's sexy," Eric explained in the article. "It fits in with our company. It's luxurious as well, particularly when combined with a grand house." He and wife Lara even kicked off their wedding celebration with a tasting at the winery in 2014.

Tiffany, the only child of Trump's second marriage, grew up in California

"My mom and I have always been very close," Tiffany shared in a 2011 Oprah interview, "She did raise me as a single mom. She's with me, like, a lot of the time. People find that kind of shocking, I think!"

Actress Marla Maples' only daughter, Tiffany was born in 1993 and raised in California with her mother from the age of four. Maples and Trump officially divorced in 1999, and Tiffany remained on the west coast with her mother, keeping in touch with her siblings. At the time of this writing, she is dating Ross Mechanic (as shown on his Instagram account, as well as hers), whom she met at the University of Pennsylvania. She also dropped her dreamy "Like a Bird" single earlier in 2016. And, as if there's any question, Town & Country reports she was named after the jewelry store.

Tiffany grew up without her father

"She'd like to get to know her father better and spend time with him like his other children did: by going to his office and watching him work," Tiffany's mother Maples admitted, in an interview with the New York Times. "Only now, he's not in the office anymore. He's on the campaign trail." As a child, Tiffany was raised by Maples in California. The two women currently live in New York City, where Tiffany runs with an elite millennial crowd.

As of October 2016, just before Donald Trump won the U.S. presidential election, the New York Times reported, "Tiffany, according to her mother, has felt wounded by the media depictions of her as the forgotten Trump and is eager to help out on her father's campaign as it heads into its final six weeks." About his youngest daughter, Trump replied in writing to the Times, "Tiffany is a tremendous young woman with a big and beautiful heart. She was always a great student and a very popular person no matter where she went. I am incredibly proud of Tiffany and how well she has done."

Melania's young son Barron will soon have his own Secret Service agents

"Melania is extremely close to Barron, and they have become closer during the campaign," a source close to Trump's transition team shared. "The campaign has been difficult for Barron, and she is really hoping to keep disruption to a minimum."

It seems Trump's current wife Melania's only son, Barron, born in 2006, will get to keep his luxurious New York penthouse, at least until the end of fourth grade in 2017. The real life price of living off of White House grounds? "[In New York City] Barron and Melania will each have an unknown number of Secret Service agents assigned to them in addition to a driver and armored vehicle to take Barron to school. An advance team of agents will swoop down on the school each morning to make sure it's safe," Jim Reese, former Delta Force commander, told The Post.

Little Barron is covered in French caviar

Rich and famous, they're just like us! Except when it comes to Barron's nighttime routine. In a 2013 interview with ABC News, his mother and presumptive First Lady of the U.S., Melania Trump, copped to slathering Barron head-to-toe in her skincare line's Caviar Complex C6 every night after his bath. "He's not a sweatpants child," she said in the interview. "He doesn't mind putting on a [suit] and he likes to dress up in a tie sometimes like Daddy."

They actually paid for their own homes in Trump properties

"I choose to live in a Trump building," Ivanka leveled with GQ in 2007. "First of all, my father's a businessman. I mean, he's not gifting me anything. He'd have to pay a gift tax, which would be a third of the property's value. I have a mortgage!" And when asked if she negotiated with her dad on the price? "Of course. He'd be disappointed if I didn't."

Eric and his wife Lara live in a $2 million apartment at Trump Parc East, and Ivanka and family live in a $10 million penthouse in Trump Park Avenue. While Donald Jr. has reportedly moved across town to a non-Trump tower, and California-raised Tiffany is currently touring Harvard University, 10-year-old Barron, who occupies an entire floor in Trump Tower, has yet to chip in for rent.

They all got hitched at the same venue: their luxe Mar-a-Lago estate

Donald Jr. and model Vanessa Haydon did it in 2005 when they were both 27. Ivanka did it with CEO Jared Kushner in 2009. Eric and producer Lara Yunaska did it in 2014 — even with Lara's two broken wrists!

If there's one sure thing in life, it's that all Trump offspring tie the knot at the opulent Mar-a-Lago family estate in Palm Beach, Fla. Not a member of the club or the family? "It costs $100,000 to join Mar-a-Lago, and the annual dues are $14,000. For this sum, members have access to both casual and fine dining, several pools, a beach, a fitness center, and a spa," Town & Country reported. And speaking of the benefits of a wealthy family, Eric reportedly proposed to Lara with a ring from sister Ivanka's jewelry line.

They gave Donald Trump eight grandchildren

"Being a mother is the most rewarding experience, but also the most wild and stressful," Ivanka told People. She and husband Jared are parents to Arabella Rose, 5, Joseph Frederick, 3, and 8-month-old Theodore James. "The 14-year-old Ivanka loved her father very much but didn't realize just how great he was," the now 35-year-old Ivanka shared in People. "Now that I'm a parent I realize how difficult it is. He was tough, firm, but always available to us."

Donald Jr. and wife Vanessa are raising five kids of their own: Kai Madison, 9, Donald John III, 7, Tristan Milos, 5, Spencer Frederick, 4, and Chloe Sophia, 2. Admittedly business-minded just like his father, Donald Jr. works to find a balance with his family. "I think I'm such a different person, it's hard to even compare us. [My father's] work persona is kind of what he is. I have a work face, and then there's my private life," he said in an interview with New York. As for Eric and wife Lara? They're keeping busy these days with their rescue pups Charlie and Ben.

The older bros hunt exotic big-game trophy animals

"Animal rights activists are revolted by a series of trophy photos that have emerged showing Eric, 28, and Donald Trump Jr., 34, posing with a dead elephant, kudu, civet cat and waterbuck while on a big game safari in Zimbabwe last year. In one photo, Donald Jr. proudly holds a dead elephant tail in one hand and a knife in the other," Gothamist reported in 2012.

The internet aflame with angry tweets, Donald Jr. spoke out in response to the backlash, telling Forbes, "Very few reported the truth." According to the article, none of the animals were endangered, and all were hunted ethically and with permission from local Zimbabwe Parks and Wildlife Authority. A Manhattan native, Donald Jr. continued, "Our maternal grandfather was Czechoslovakian. When we were young he would have us to his place in Czechoslovakia for a month or more during summers. He loved to hunt and fish and taught us how."

They work hard for a living (when they don't actually have to)

"This is an American heiress who does not 'dance on tables without underwear,' as Ivanka herself puts it. Who graduated summa cum laude from Wharton! Who actually works for a living!" GQ wrote of Ivanka, when she was just 25 and had been promoted to VP of development and acquisitions for her father's empire. Her brothers Donald Jr. and Eric also hold VP positions, on top of acting as brand ambassadors, heading charity organizations, and cultivating personal corporations.

She said, "I've known since I was born what I wanted to do. I can't remember ever wanting to do anything else. Ever. Not even as a little kid. I feel like somehow I'm genetically programmed." Trump agreed: "Look, she was born into a very good situation. She was fortunate to be very pretty. But I think she always had in mind that she wanted to prove she could really do something very special in life, as opposed to just sitting back and relaxing. Which she could have done."

They each made their mark during their father's presidential campaign

With even 10-year-old Barron making an appearance, all five children stepped into the spotlight in support of their father's campaign for president, as it hurtled to a victorious close in November. And, just like the Trump campaign itself, it was a very bumpy ride.

There was Donald Jr.'s gas chamber remark, Ivanka's obligation to make peace with all of womankind after her father's lewd comments, and the threatening letter with white powder sent to Eric, demanding Trump drop out of the race. Tiffany even gave a speech at Cleveland's Republican National Convention in July, detailing the ways in which her father had motivated her to be the person she is today. And for that, Trump had already flown back to NYC. Preserved from the media circus that was the campaign trail, Barron's only misstep was understandably yawning during his father's 3 a.m. victory speech on Nov. 9.

Some of the kids are ready to move into the White House

"It only really dawned on me when we were sitting on the plane going to the first debate," 23-year-old Tiffany told People of her family's future. "That is surreal, isn't it? Slumber party in the White House!" While the President-elect has tweeted assurances that Donald Jr., 38, and Eric, 32, will be running the business side of things while Trump sits in the Oval Office, speculation continues to swirl around 35-year-old Ivanka's prospects.

What's next for the Trump kids

Smart and savvy enough to stand on their own feet and stay on brand, the forecast looks golden for the mega-rich Trump clan. As Donald Jr. and younger brother Eric take over operations at the Trump Organization this coming year, Ivanka appears poised to be closely involved with her father's presidency. With Tiffany likely headed to law school and Barron just trying to be a "normal kid" — one that requires secret service at his play dates — 2017 is sure to be a whopper of a year for this well-heeled family. But we're betting these kids are up for the challenge. With a little New York moxie and a whole lotta chutzpah, the Trumps always rise to the occasion. "People say we're, like, the kings and queens of superlatives," Ivanka told GQ. "But we do believe everything's the Best and the Greatest and the Tallest and the Biggest."