Signs You Are Ready To Get Married
Are you wondering if you're ready to get married? Deciding to take the plunge down the aisle to the altar is a life-altering decision, so it's crucial that you're completely sure that getting married is the right choice for you and your partner. After all, statistics show that between 40 and 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce. Before you say "I do," what you really need to do is pay attention to these definitive signs that you're truly ready to get married.
You really want to get married
If you're wondering if marriage is the right choice for you, the first question you should ask yourself is if you truly want to get married. Deciding to get married has to be a choice that you make on your own, without any pressure from your partner, your family, your friends, or even from society in general. It's actually common that when one person gets married in a group of friends, the other group members quickly follow suit and start planning their own weddings — as getting married has suddenly become the accepted and expected norm. However, the deep desire to get married has to come from you and you alone, and if you view getting married as something that you should do or have an obligation to do, rather than something that you truly want to do, you're likely heading for heartache and heartbreak in the future.
You have no reservations about marrying your partner
If you're really ready for marriage, one of the major signs is that you have no reservations about marrying your partner and aren't hoping that he'll change in the future. In fact, the best predictor of your partner's post-marriage behavior is his prior-marriage behavior. So if you're entering into a marriage thinking that your union will somehow change the way in which your partner behaves, this is a big mistake. Plus, if you're having doubts, worries, or concerns about entering a marriage with your partner, it's important that you not only openly discuss them with him, but that you treat them as important warning signs indicating that there may be trouble ahead. Not surprisingly, research in the Journal of Family Psychology revealed that women who had doubts about their future husband prior to marriage were more likely to get divorced.
You know what commitment truly means
If you're thinking about getting married, another tell-tale sign that you're ready for your fairy-tale ending is that you understand what commitment really means. While it's easy to say that you're going to spend the rest of your life with your significant other, it's important that you've been with this person long enough to transition past the honeymoon phase and have experienced the ups and downs of everyday life together. And since the honeymoon phase and subsequent decrease in relationship satisfaction soon after is a scientifically-backed phenomenon, as noted in Prevention Science: The Official Journal of the Society for Prevention Research, being truly ready for marriage means that you've been with your partner long enough to have faced good times as well as bad as a couple. In other words, when you're still eager and excited to commit to your partner after weathering storms together, this is a good indicator that an upcoming marriage will be full of blue skies.
You can disagree with your partner without the fear of ruining your relationship
Another important sign that you're ready to get married is that you're able to have disagreements and disputes with your partner without worrying about harming your relationship. In reality, conflict in a relationship can actually bring the two of you closer together, as it can help you to understand your partner on a deeper level as well as give you the opportunity to problem solve as a couple. However, if you're unable or unwilling to disagree with your partner because you're worried about losing him, have a fear of retribution, or you don't have the desire or means to effectively express your true thoughts, your lack of conflict resolution skills as a couple will greatly impair your chances of a long-lasting marriage. After all, disputes and squabbles are bound to arise, and if you don't have a strong foundation in place and/or you don't know how to fight fair, these conflicts will inevitably weaken rather than strengthen your connection.
You can openly communicate
Along these same lines, a clear indicator that you're ready for marriage is that you and your partner can openly discuss any topic, large or small. In other words, nothing is off limits between the two of you, and you're able to communicate and express your thoughts and feelings in an effective way. As noted in Contemporary Family Therapy, being able to candidly communicate with a romantic partner is associated with higher levels of relationship satisfaction. So if you're incapable of getting your point across to your partner, your connection with each other will never be able to fully develop in a way that can support a successful marriage. Plus, communicating effectively also involves the art of active listening, and if you're not fully present when you're with your partner, don't truly care about listening to him, and/or he refuses to listen to you, then you're not yet ready to hear wedding bells anytime soon.
You've had the money talk
In terms of communicating openly with your partner, a major sign that you're ready to get married is that you've had a discussion about money. This kind of financial talk may not come naturally to you, as a Wells Fargo survey revealed that people find it more challenging to discuss money than it is to talk about death, politics, and religious beliefs. However, before you enter into a marriage, you and your partner need to be completely transparent about your personal financial situations, such as debt, student loans, income, spending tendencies, financial goals, and other miscellaneous monetary information. After all, managing your finances together is a critical component of a successful and long-lasting marriage. If you haven't yet had the talk about money with your partner, it pays to take this step before you walk down the aisle.
You're honest with your partner
A clear sign that you're ready for marriage is that you're completely honest and truthful with your significant other. If you're hiding things from your partner, aren't truly being your authentic self, or aren't willing to be completely vulnerable around him or her, a marriage between the two of you would be vulnerable to collapsing. After all, successful and long-lasting relationships are based on mutual trust, and if you can't trust your partner and he can't trust you in return, you can trust in the fact that a marriage between you would be unhappy and unfulfilling. On the other hand, a clear sign that you're ready to get married is that you're secure enough in your relationship with your partner as well as in your relationship with yourself to the point that you're able to be completely genuine and truthful. Being forthright is the right way to enter into a marriage.
You're on the same page about the future
If you're thinking about getting married, you and your partner should want the same things in the future. Not only does this pertain to both of your desires to get married in the first place, but this means that you're in total accord about other major life goals. For example, if you definitely want to have children, but your partner has no interest in ever being a parent, this kind of major difference in your long-term objectives will definitely cause problems down the road. The same goes for where you see yourself living, your professional ambitions and aspirations, and other non-negotiables that are vital to you and your life. While compromise plays an important role in a relationship, it's important that you're not confusing compromising with sacrificing. If you enter into a marriage with blatant disregard for your true hopes and dreams, your marriage will soon turn into a nightmare.
Your values are alike
A sign that you're ready to get married is that you and your partner have similar values and beliefs. While you and your partner may not share the same hobbies, interests, religion, or upbringing, it's important that your core ethics, morals, and attitudes are aligned. For instance, a clear indicator you're ready to get married is that you both share similar outlooks and perspectives regarding what's important to you, how you live your life, and what qualities you value, such as honesty, reliability, and empathy. In a word, sharing the same values means that you're in total agreement about what's acceptable behavior and what's not. In fact, having these similar beliefs is actually what makes you compatible as couple. If you enter into a marriage without sharing these core values, you're not likely to enjoy a shared life together.
You love and respect one another
It's vital that you and your partner love each other unconditionally as well as fully respect one another if you want to get married. First, it's important to understand the true definition of unconditional love, as it means that you're there for your partner no matter what. And since a marriage implies for better or for worse, it's imperative that you enter into your union already having these kind of intense feelings of love for one another as a foundation on which to build. To that end, love and respect go hand-in-hand, and in order to have a healthy and long-lasting relationship with your partner, being ready for marriage means that you treat each other in a respectful manner. A key indicator that you're ready to get married is that your actions and words respect your partner as well as honor the deep and meaningful connection that you share with one another.
You know in your gut that it's the right decision
If you're looking for a sign that you're ready to get married, look internally and listen to what your intuition is telling you. In fact, when it comes to major life decisions, especially in terms of love, relationships, and marriage, listening to your gut can help you figure out if you're making the right choice. This is due to the fact that your intuition acts as an internal mechanism that can help to keep you out of harm's way, enable you to better read and understand different people and situations, and guide you to make appropriate and correct decisions. If you're thinking about getting married, your instincts can help you determine whether or not you're truly prepared to tie the knot.
Are you really ready to get married?
These signs can help you recognize if you and your partner are on the path toward marital bliss or if it's more of a blunder. In fact, these important indicators can help clue you in as to whether you're getting married for the right reasons instead of the wrong. If you feel you should get married because you don't think you can do any better, you're afraid of being by yourself, or you simply want a big reception in your honor, your marriage will likely be unpleasant and unfulfilling. While going bridal dress shopping will certainly be an exciting experience, it'll be even more rewarding when you're truly ready for marriage.