The real reason these stars never got married

Marriage isn't for everyone. After all, if Brangelina couldn't make it work, who could? Still, that doesn't mean that avoiding putting a ring on it means a lack of commitment or that these stars will die alone and miserable. In fact, for a lot of celebs, the opposite is true. Celebs are just normal people, (sort of) like the rest of us, and that means not all of them want the same things. These single stars and couples haven't gone down the aisle, and that's just fine with them. 

Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham

Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham have been together since 1986, and he actually proposed to her — but she didn't say yes. She explained why on an episode of Super Soul Sunday (via Entertainment Tonight), saying, "The moment he asked me to marry him, I was like 'Oh, God! Now I actually have to get married?' But what I realized is, I don't want to be married. Because I could not have the life that I created for myself. I couldn't do it."

However, Winfrey's own mother, Barbara, hinted to the Daily Mail that the talk show titan's relationship with BFF Gayle King is to blame, as well as Winfrey's fortune. "Stedman isn't a good steward of money and that suits Oprah fine," Barbara said. "He is financially dependent on her. He knows her secrets and she knows his. Why would they marry now? He's there at her beck and call. He knows his role in her life." She added, "Gayle is very, very present. I don't know any man I've ever dated who could tolerate that, but Stedman knows Gayle's going nowhere. They speak on the phone three or four times a day…[their relationship is] unhealthy…I can only say what I saw and observed over the years. Gayle was more present than Stedman."

Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn

Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn have been together for 33 years and have a son, Wyatt Russell, together — but they've never tied the knot. Hawn — who was previously married to actor Bill Hudson and dancer Gus Trikonis — explained her reason to Loose Women, saying, "I would have been long divorced if I got married. If you need to be bound to someone, then it's important to be married. If you are independent, it's important to not be married."

"[Russell and I] like the choice and we chose to stay," she continued. "We're always asked why we are not married. Why? What is marriage going to do for us? At the beginning, you want to see each other all the time. Then you get jealous when they're gone too long and that's exciting. But for a healthy long-term relationship, then 68 percent of the time [together] is good."

Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon

Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon were together for 23 years and had two sons before their breakup in 2009. It seems like marriage wasn't in the cards for either of them, but that it was ultimately Sarandon's choice. She told People, "I've always liked the idea of choosing to be with somebody. I thought that if you didn't get married, you wouldn't take each other for granted as easily. I don't know if after twentysomething years that was still true." 

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick

After three kids and nearly a decade together, Kourtney Kardashian never married Scott Disick. Why? Because, for a reality starlet, Kardashian claims to not want all the attention on her.

"A wedding terrifies me," she confessed to Cosmopolitan. "I like tradition; I don't have anything against that. I think it's more fear of walking down the aisle in front of all those people. I don't like being the center of attention," she said. "I mean, Scott and I have talked about it many times over the years. The situation was never right. But I don't think we would've done a big wedding—we would've done something really small, just us and our kids."

After their most recent (and seemingly permanent) split in July 2015, which was spawned by Disick getting cozy with another woman, the odds of them actually walking down the aisle now seem like well below zero. Still, Disick allegedly is not giving up hope. "Scott says he still wants to get back together with her, but hasn't done anything to prove it," an insider told Page Six. "Kourtney is over it. She knows she looks amazing and she isn't putting up with any of his s**t…Kourtney tells him if he wants her back, he needs to show how much he's changed, but instead he's out partying at Coachella and will complain to his guy friends about how many rules Kourtney imposes on him."

Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt

Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt were together for a whopping 18 years before their split in September 2015, but they never married. Hamm explained to Parade in 2010, "I don't have the marriage chip, and neither of us have the greatest examples of marriages in our families. But Jen is the love of my life, and we've already been together four times longer than my parents were married." 

The same year, he told the New York Post (via the San Francisco Gate), "We may not have a piece of paper that says we're husband and wife, but Jennifer is more than just a girlfriend. What we have is much deeper and we both know that."

Even though they broke up temporarily, Hamm and Westfeldt were rumored to reunite in August 2016, but they've yet to put a ring on it.

Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger

Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson were together for more than a decade before their split in July 2016, and it appears to be that her hesitance to commit was the cause. Kruger revealed to the Edit in March 2016 that it took her almost 10 years just to move in with the Dawson's Creek alum. 

"I just moved this week. I need to unpack and buy some house stuff, like candles and books," she said. "[Moving here] was a major commitment. That's a big step into adulthood for me, to allow that time for someone else out of my time." When asked if she'd marry Jackson, she replied, "Welcome to my dilemma." Adding to the dilemma? The New York Daily News reports that Kruger may have cheated on Jackson with her Sky co-star Norman Reedus in summer 2016.

Jackson offered his own explanation to Glamour. "I can tell you why we're not married: we're not religious," he told the mag in November 2014. "I don't feel any more or less committed to Diane for not having stood in front of a priest and had a giant party. We're both children of divorce, so it's hard for me to take marriage at face value as the thing that shows you've grown up and are committed to another person."

Charlize Theron

Charlize Theron dated Stuart Townsend from 2002 to 2011, but they never married — and she never wanted to marry him, anyway. "It's a divine right," she told Piers Morgan Tonight (via E! News). "When government starts to tell us who can love and what is good love, whether government or a government built on a certain religion, I do have a problem with that. If you want to bring it back to the politics…I do have a problem with the fact that our government hasn't stepped up enough to make this federal, to make this legal." 

She added, "I'll be the first to say, here on your show, marriage — before I felt this way about this issue — was never something that was important to me. I don't know the exact reason for that. I really want for myself a long-term relationship," she added. "And I have been in long-term relationships…That's the kind of union that I want. The actual ceremony is not something that is important to me—but I see the importance for other people."

She had a change of heart in December 2014 when she got engaged to Sean Penn after a year of dating, but they split six months later. Their split was said to be contentious, so who knows if she'll ever want to get engaged again?

Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling

Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling have two daughters together and have been together since 2011. There were rumors in September 2016 that they married in secret, but the couples' reps shot down those tales. Still, part of why they may not have actually tied the knot? They already feel like they did. "Eva and Ryan have always felt like a married couple," a source told Us Weekly. "They are infatuated with each other."

Mendes, who was previously married to Peruvian filmmaker George Augusto for a decade, told the Telegraph, "If we go back to the origin of marriage, it was very unromantic. It was about land, basically. It was about ownership. So I think it's a kind of unromantic idea. When I look around and see the emphasis people put on getting married and weddings, I think, wait a second, what does this really mean?"

Gosling made it clear that he is 100 percent committed to Mendes, ring or not. He told Hello! magazine, "I know that I'm with the person I'm supposed to be with…[the only quality I look for in a woman] is that she's Eva Mendes. There's nothing else I'm looking for."

Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler has been opposed to marriage for as long as she's been famous, but she revealed to Ellen DeGeneres in January 2016 that she's softening her stance. ”I think I would do it out of rebellion," she said. "I don't like when anybody tells me to conform to any idea. Now that I got past the point where everyone wants you to get married, when you're 20 and 30 and every guy you date they're like, 'Are you gonna marry him?' Now that I'm past the age and I turned 40 and nobody's asking me to get married, now I'm open to it."

Sarah Silverman

Sarah Silverman told Ellen DeGeneres (via People) that she doesn't want to get married until gay marriage is legal everywhere, despite being happy in her relationship with Michael Sheen since 2014. "I just don't understand the instinct to want to join a club that is elitist," she said. "I mean, it's like joining a country club that doesn't allow Jews or black people. What's the difference?" She added, "And besides that I don't know that I would want to get the government involved in my love. Personally."

Of course, considering the Supreme Court made same-sex marriage legal in America just a few weeks later, so we may see her and Sheen walk down the aisle sooner rather than later.

Diane Keaton

Diane Keaton admitted to People that she thinks she "failed at" settling down and starting a family because she didn't quite understand that marriage requires more than romance. "It's not the worst tragedy. But I really wish I had bought myself a man! A good man who would be a great father, I really do. I think it's a better way to go," she said. "I think I was not practical. I had some insane idea that I had to be 'in love.' Now I see what it really takes: real consideration that you're a good team together."

Keaton, who's now a single mom of two, said she was desperate to make it work with Godfather co-star and love of five years Al Pacino. "But he was even less inclined to be realistic than me," she said. "And I was on the cusp of being very old. So that poor guy. I don't think he was really that interested. And I don't think a long-term happy marriage would be easy for him."

John Cusack

John Cusack has a colorful dating history, including pairings with Claire Forlani, Janice Dickinson, Lili Taylor, Gina Gershon, Melissa Gilbert, Minnie Driver, Alison Eastwood, Neve Campbell, Jodi Lyn O'Keefe, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Alexandra Kerry, Brooke Burns, and Uma Thurman. Phew! So why didn't he settle down with any of these beauties? He told Elle simply, "Society doesn't tell me what to do." 

Jennifer Hudson and David Otunga

Jennifer Hudson was in a relationship with former wrestler David Otunga for ten years, including a son together, before their split in 2017. Prior to the split, and the revelation that Hudson took out a protective order against Otunga, the two were engaged for some time.

Hudson told Wendy Williams, speaking of why they hadn't yet married at the time, "Well, the ring is still there and we will get married one day but again, my thing is, once I get married, I don't believe in divorce. And so when I get married, it's for good. We want to be completely sure we're together, we're happy and when it's time…I think that's the key, take baby steps." When Williams pointed out that having a kid and being together for almost a decade goes beyond baby steps, she explained, "That's my definition of baby steps!"

Prior to the couples' split, sources told Radar Online that the couple were rarely together and previously got cold feet. "They were originally planning to tie the knot in October 2010, but it was called off," an insider said. "At this point, it doesn't seem like a wedding will ever happen." And now we know that's definitely the case.

Sheryl Crow

Sheryl Crow explained to Good Housekeeping that she's been engaged three times (including a high profile betrothal to Lance Armstrong) and never married for a good reason. "Hey, I would love to get married — I'm still old-fashioned. But I don't think marriage is the be-all and end-all. It's better to have three broken engagements than three divorces." 

She added, "I had always gone out with guys who were highly successful, which would seem like it would put me at an equal level. But what ends up happening is that one of you becomes smaller—and it was always me. It's always the woman. I mean, I don't know if it's always the woman, but I do think that sometimes in order for one person's light to shine, everyone else has to dim theirs." 

Leonardo DiCaprio

Despite being one of the biggest heartthrobs to span the '90s and find continued success today, Leonardo DiCaprio doesn't seem to be in any rush to get married. Leo told Parade of marriage, "That time will come when that time comes. The truth is, you can't predict marriage. You can't plan it. It's just going to happen when it happens." Of course, it may "happen" when he gets bored of his serial modelizing and finally decides on just one swimsuit or lingerie model for the long haul. But, you never know.