The 'Worst Type' Of Man To Date, According To Emily Ratajkowski
After recently divorcing her husband, Sebastian Bear-McClard, Emily Ratajkowoski has taken to the dating scene, Glamour reports. Enjoying flings with celebs like Brad Pitt and Pete Davidson, finding someone to date doesn't seem to be a challenge (via US Weekly). However, in an interview with Harper's Bazaar, Ratajkowski mentioned that she's currently taking a new approach to date than she had in the past.
"To use the TikTok phrase, I was a bit of a 'pick-me girl' in the sense that I wasn't very good at deciding what I liked. I really wanted to be chosen," she told the magazine. She went on to say, "Now it's really fun to go to dinner with someone and be like, 'Cool. I really enjoyed these parts of them. I really didn't like these other parts."
Ratajkowski is taking a much more selective approach to who she dates, spotting red flags and taking notes. With good reason, she's being ruthless. In a recent episode of her podcast HighLow she revealed that finding a man she is compatible with is a challenge, saying, "I feel like I attract the worst men."
Men who struggle with her success
A model, actress, cultural critic, influencer, business owner, author, podcaster, and mother; these are all titles you can call Emily Ratajkowski. To put it succinctly, she's an absolute powerhouse. But being a powerhouse has evidently made dating men more frustrating for her. Speaking with influencer Olivia Ponton in her recent HighLow episode, she says, "They're like, 'Okay, yes, you're special. You['re independent].' And they love it and love it, and then slowly they get emasculated and ... don't know what to do with those feelings, and then they resent you." According to psychologists, there's a reason that many men can act this way.
In a review published by the Psychology of Men & Masculinity, researchers at the University of South Florida explain that men have been conditioned to feel that "manhood" must be earned. This implies it can be lost and isn't inherent. Because of this, men can feel threatened when they don't fit masculine stereotypes like someone will revoke their "manhood" or societal approval.
Cultural stereotypes expect men in heterosexual relationships to be the "breadwinners" or the "protector." So when they aren't, they can feel anxiety and even heightened aggression, says the source. This seems to pinpoint precisely what Ratajkowski is struggling with. Her confidence and success have come head-to-head with men struggling to feel secure in themselves.
What Emily Ratajkowski wants in the men she dates
In the same podcast episode, Ratajkowski expands on how men with fragile egos impact her heterosexual dating life, saying, "strength and the power is associated with the masculine, and once a woman has that, a man doesn't know what else he has." Additionally, she points out that there are many traits she wishes men would focus on. She groans, "I'm like, 'How about you just be better at expressing your emotions and being there emotionally?' That would be great."
According to Princeton University's wellness resource Umatter, research shows that most men disagree with the stereotype that they shouldn't show their emotions. However, many follow their gender role expectations out of fear that their peers will disapprove of them.
To have a long-lasting relationship, communication and respect are essential. Neither can be achieved if men continue to believe they have to fit in such a narrow box for masculinity. Emily Ratajkowski isn't only addressing her dating pet peeves but also a larger cultural issue that affects both men and women negatively.