How To Know The Difference Between Love Bombing And A Healthy Honeymoon Phase
A new romance can be exciting. While there is no estimate of how long it actually takes to fall in love, the early days of a relationship can feel like bliss. The honeymoon phase is an important stage in a budding romance, but there are red flags to keep an eye out for when you're falling for someone new.
How can you tell if your new fling is healthy or not? There are important signs to look out for, and if you feel you have to put on an act to please your new partner, it's probably not the real deal. What if your friends or family don't approve? They are likely seeing something wrong in the relationship that the honeymoon phase may cover up.
One serious issue in new relationships is love bombing. This is far from a healthy honeymoon period, but telling the difference between the two can be difficult. Here's what you should be looking out for.
What is love bombing?
Love bombing is a complicated behavior in a new relationship. Many times, the outpouring of affection given by someone using love bombing to manipulate a new partner can feel like the real deal. When a new relationship begins, the new partner will overwhelm the other with things that make them feel special. You'll likely get lots of texts and sweet gifts to make you fall head-over-heels. While this can often be similar to the honeymoon stage of a new romance, there are clear red flags with love bombing that will prove it unhealthy.
"Love bombing is a form of emotional manipulation used to gain power over a person by showering them with what appears to be tons of affection and attention," licensed counselor Dr. Spirit told Mind Body Green. What sets love bombing apart from the honeymoon stage is how these kind gestures are used to control, not to show true appreciation for a partner.
How do you know if you are being love bombed?
Understanding whether or not you're in a healthy new relationship is difficult with love bombing. This is because of how we treat relationships in pop culture, therapist Laura Reagan told SELF. "Our culture, through TV, films, and fairy tales, tells us that the behavior we know as love bombing is a normal expectation of romantic love."
While love bombing can seem sweet, there are red flags that prove otherwise. A new partner who constantly checks in can be appreciated, but with love bombing, these messages will often come in at inappropriate times or will attempt to convince you to ignore your plans or responsibilities in order to provide the love bomber with all of your attention.
A relationship filled with love bombing will often get too serious, too quickly. Babita Spinelli, a psychoanalyst told Mind Body Green, "Love bombing goes hard and fast. Things will move faster than they should, which is a huge red flag." This is especially troubling if the feeling is not mutual. If your new partner is moving too fast, contacting you too much, and applying over-the-top gestures, you are being love bombed. Healthy relationships will move slower, lack control, and have clear boundaries.
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