Trash-Talking Can Help You Get Over Your Ex - Within Reason, Of Course

There's no way around it: Breakups can be devastating. And if there were no signs of an impending breakup, it hurts that much more. You shouldn't feel guilty about the pain or anger, or any other emotions you might experience in the aftermath. When a relationship ends, there's no timeline for how long it should take you to get over the person you were involved with. 

Even scientists don't have a definitive answer to the question, although it's been suggested it can take over a year to get over serious relationships, in particular. It simply differs from person to person. The good news is that you will most certainly get through your breakup, regardless of how much it hurts, and before you know it, get back to feeling like the superstar you are. 

What can help you get there faster is allowing yourself to be open about how you feel so that you can really start the healing process. It may seem unlikely, but bashing your ex — within reason, we're not suggesting you start a smear campaign against them or anything — could help to get you over your past relationship and ready for a new one sooner rather than later. 

Trash-talking helps you process your feelings

It can be so very easy to hold fast to being the bigger person by refusing to speak badly about your ex. This could even be despite your former partner acting like a complete trash heap of a human being (there, we said it for you). But, frankly, if you did your best in the relationship, and the reason it ended the way it did falls squarely on your ex's shoulders, there's no reason not to acknowledge it. 

You can still keep it classy, of course; just be honest with your feelings and say what's on your mind. Don't let anything stop you from admitting when someone's done you dirty. In fact, trash-talking your ex is an expert-recommended technique that has been proven to do your soul good, according to mindset and manifestation coach Maria Concha. 

"If you need to honor certain feelings and emotions and let it out, by all means, I'm all about releasing it and letting it out in a healthy way, in a way that serves you," she told Bustle. Whether it's by gossiping with a friend or penning the next big breakup song, getting those pent-up emotions off your chest will make you feel so much better in the long run. Eventually, you'll be ready to move on from your ex and face life again. 

Resist sharing your feelings on social media

So we've established that bashing your ex can be extremely liberating and, yes, it can even be fun too. After all, everyone needs a break from taking the high road following a messy breakup, even if it's just to vent for a little while. Most importantly, a healthy dose of trash-talking can actually help you break the chains of a bad relationship and allow you to move forward with your life. But, like everything else, bashing your ex should also be done within reason.

If you're thinking about taking the argument to the public space, take a moment to really consider the consequences before doing so. This breakup is between you and your ex, not his Facebook friends and yours. While you may feel better airing out your grievances on social media in the moment, everyone else could reasonably see it as free entertainment. 

Laying out the dirty details of your breakup for everyone to see can also spark unnecessary tension because everyone will line up to give you their hot take on the matter — and they won't all agree with you. A situation that should be over and done with can quickly be blown way out of proportion as a result. Remember, your focus should be moving on from the relationship and healing.