Planning Your Wedding After A Week Of Dating? You Might Be Getting 'Future Faked'
When you're on a first date, there's really no better feeling than knowing that the date is going well. Consequently, we love when our date makes it obvious that they're digging us. If your date is clearly crazy about you, and the feeling is mutual, that's a good sign; right? Well, not necessarily. There is definitely such a thing as "too good to be true" when it comes to hitting it off with a new flame, and being aware of it could save you from a major heartbreak and point you in the right direction while navigating the dating world.
The newest dating drama to join the ranks of the infamous 'ghosting,' the new spooky trend haunting our love lives called 'zombieing,' and of course, another of the latest dating trends, 'paperclipping,' is something even more insidious. The trend is called 'future faking,' and if you haven't heard of it, you may be surprised about how it happens and just how easy it is to miss when you start dating someone new.
What does 'future faking' mean?
In order to guard yourself against the 'future faking' trend, you need to understand what signs to look out for. Psychologist, Greg Kushnick, PsyD explained to Health that "Future faking is when someone uses a detailed vision of the future to facilitate the bonding and connection in a romantic relationship." You may be wondering: why would someone say they want a long-term relationship if they don't actually want it? Well, for some people who are looking for love, feeling that sense of reassurance may make you more interested and more devoted to your new flame, and they may be seeking that from you even if they're not actually in it for the long haul. In fact, Dr. Kushnick adds that "In most situations, it's not intentional. Many narcissists are very impulsive when it comes to having romantic feelings. And in that impulsivity, they promise someone the world."
We've heard the term narcissist thrown around plenty in informative dating TikToks. Still, just because someone is a bit rash with their feelings doesn't mean that they actually have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (per WebMD). In reality, narcissism is a characteristic that falls on a spectrum; it causes someone to be so self-absorbed that they can fail to consider the thoughts and feelings of those around them. While a narcissistic partner likely isn't deliberately trying to trick you, this kind of behavior puts you on a path to disappointment and broken promises.
What to do if you're being 'future-faked'
There's always a risk of heartbreak when opening yourself up to someone new, but knowing what to look out for can make you more prepared. Of course, just because some people out there are future fakers doesn't mean that anyone who sees a future with you is a full-blown red flag toting narcissist. So, how can we differentiate the real deal from the fantasy of a fake future?
The easiest way to spot a future faker is when the relationship is moving way too fast right off the bat, as Health notes, relationships should build over time and feel real. If it feels like you've met Prince Charming or like you were tossed into a real-life rom-com the moment you met your new partner, try to slow things down a bit. If the relationship is built to last, your partner will be willing to go at your pace. Otherwise, they might react poorly, which can be a red flag.
Furthermore, make sure that your partner is following through on little promises. If you notice that they talk a big game about all the things they'll do for you but cancel plans at the last second, this could be a warning sign that you can't really trust their word. Over time, your partner will earn your trust. If they can fulfill small promises and take responsibility for their actions, that's a green flag that proves that your future together isn't just real, it's also bright.