What To Say When A Date Cancels At The Last Minute
Imagine going through the motions of getting your hair and nails done, a new outfit, and putting together your best makeup look only for that highly anticipated date to be canceled. Even with ample communication of the unforeseen event, this is still a hard pill to swallow. Disappointment can spark the urge to voice your frustrations regarding the canceled plans, though you may want to reconsider lashing out.
Car troubles, a death in the family, illness, unexpected expenses, a sick pet, and virtually any other misfortune can arise at the drop of a dime. Life is unpredictable in that way, which is why it is perfectly fine to be upset, but being understanding could better your chances of having that big night rescheduled. Recently, love coach Ali Jackson went viral on TikTok sharing a list of text scripts that can be used when responding to a date that has been rescinded last minute.
Be understanding but let your expectations be known
Dating expert Ali Jackson does a phenomenal job of offering a straightforward response to the dodged date. The script goes as follows: "Well, that's too bad. I was excited to meet/see you. I hope everything's okay, and I'm looking forward to what you plan for our raincheck." There are a few factors that contribute to this statement's potency.
Leading with empathy is the best practice. This lets your date know you feel bad about the unexpected hurdle they've experienced. The following line expresses that you were looking forward to spending time with them, while the next further lets them know that you are genuinely hoping for the best regarding whatever has stopped them from moving forward with the outing. In the final sentence, your standards are made crystal clear. Letting them know you anticipate the rescheduled date demonstrates continued interest and the expectation that you will be compensated for your time with fresh plans at a later time. This is crucial because it establishes early on that your time is valuable and ought to be treated accordingly.
When sending this kind of response, your general demeanor should be one of friendliness. Aggressive responses can reduce the likelihood of a renewed encounter. It could also convey the idea that their situation is unimportant in some way. Never approach dating with this mentality.
Thank them for communicating effectively
While courtesy is expected, it is not always given. Thus, thank your potential partner for sharing this update with you. As digital sex educator Emily L. Depasse put it to Bustle, in a culture where "ghosting" has become an acceptable form of disassociating, "it's admirable for someone to communicate their intention." Showing gratitude for this simple action can go a long way.
If you don't care to send the template laid out by relationship guru Ali Jackson, a simple "Thanks for letting me know" still offers the same amount of politeness. Not as wordy and doesn't immediately voice interest in rescheduling, this one-liner delivers an appreciation of the action made to notify you promptly. After this text exchange, don't let a good outfit go to waste. Call up a friend and make the most of the night. You'll need a welcome distraction from the disappointment that inevitably follows.
Ultimately, in any reply you choose to send, take the reason at face value. Never take it personally, especially if the individual hasn't expressed reasons specific to you as to why they are postponing the date. Doing so will only lead to compartmentalizing, which could manifest itself in a nasty text message. Refrain, regroup, and re-evaluate your evening plans.