10 Green Flags That Indicate A Man Is Boyfriend Material
As vital as it is to recognize the red flags while dating, it's just as imperative to recognize the green flags too. Green flags are good qualities a person shows early on, which can give you an idea of what a potential relationship would be like. Not unlike the term "red flags," the term "green flags" has become so important there's even a "Green flags I look for..." prompt you can add to your dating profile on Hinge.
In today's dating scene, it can be hard to know if a guy wants a serious relationship or not. And when it comes to online dating, it can often become even harder to decipher someone's intentions. Nevertheless, it's essential to recognize the good signs when they arise, and thankfully there are a few foolproof ways to detect them — some even before your first date.
According to relationship experts, these are some green flags that can indicate if a man is boyfriend material.
He respects you
Respect is an absolute must in a healthy relationship, and the respect a man has for you can be detected in the very early stages of dating. Is he mentally present during dates and avoids spending unnecessary time on his phone? Does he respond to your calls and texts in a reasonable amount of time? Does he avoid turning regular conversations into sexual discussions? Does he show up when he says he's going to? These are all green flags pointing to him being a respectful boyfriend.
Registered psychotherapist Ellie Borden, who specializes in dating and relationships, told The List that the way a man communicates with you when sharing opposing opinions or issues can also indicate his amount of respect for you. "A good partner should always show respect towards you and your opinions," she explained. "They should not be condescending in their attitude and always listen to what you have to say." A man who respects you will be compassionate and willing to work out an issue as opposed to being dismissive of your feelings.
How a man treats your boundaries also indicates the respect he has for you. A guy who respects your boundaries won't try to cross them or make you uncomfortable in any way; instead, he will be understanding. Psychologist Katie Adam told us, "If you tell a person who respects personal space and boundaries that you don't like to jog with other people because it's your treasured alone time, they might ask you about your sentiments, but they won't guilt trip you."
He doesn't send mixed signals
A guy who is truly interested in you will make it crystal clear that he likes you and wants to pursue you. With him, there will be clarity and certainty about his intentions, and you will never find yourself questioning his interest in you.
"When they don't know what they want, they give you mixed signals, make you feel confused, and play mind games," relationship expert and writer Amelia Prinn told us. She continued, saying, "A guy who knows what he wants is focused only on one goal, and that is fighting for you and your relationship. There will be no drama, no sleepless nights, and no overthinking sessions."
Other signs can be found in the little things he does, like remembering small details about you, asking about your day, complimenting you, or surprising you with flowers. "Being able to pay attention to the little things means being attentive, caring, and willing to make the other person feel special and appreciated," Prinn explained. "Every relationship needs the elements of surprises in order to keep flourishing." He also won't be afraid to open up and show you his soft side. Prinn noted that if he "isn't afraid of expressing his vulnerable side to you, it means he trusts you and feels comfortable in your company."
He is kind (and not just to you)
One way to determine how a guy will treat you in the future is by taking notice of how he treats other people. By seeing how he treats others, you'll have a better idea of what he's really like as a person. Dating and relationship expert Callisto Adams told The List, "This behavior reflects his character and how he interacts with others, and it can be a strong indicator of how he will treat you." She added, "A partner who shows kindness and respect to others, including service providers, is likely to bring similar qualities to the relationship."
You also want to consider relationships they have with friends and loved ones, which can reflect how they will treat a relationship with you. Dating coach and founder of Elite Dating Managers Janell O'Leary told us, "Having a good relationship with their family or having a lot of close friends means they care about people around them and nurture their friendships which is a really good sign." This shows they are able to maintain healthy, long-term relationships and value the people they have in their circle.
He listens to you and shows interest in your interests
A good listener will enable the conversation to flow and create a sense of comfort, allowing the person who is speaking to open up. He doesn't interrupt you when you talk and doesn't just wait for you to finish speaking so he can speak next. "Listening indicates that he is genuinely interested in getting to know you better," relationship expert Amelia Prinn told The List. "He is willing to take the time to understand your inner world, your fears, and your goals."
If a guy genuinely listens to learn about your interests, hobbies, and passions, this is a major green flag. This shows a level of respect and care for the things you like. A good partner will remember important details about you and will get excited when he has the opportunity to share things with you that remind him of your interests.
He plans dates
Does the man you're seeing take initiative to plan dates and go out of his way to see you? It's a good sign if a potential partner invests time and effort into planning dates (cue: "if he wanted to, he would").
In the early stages, watch out for guys that always make last-minute plans or keep you at arm's length, which would indicate he is not looking for something serious. Relationship coach and certified sex educator Suzannah Weiss told The List, "He is able to plan in advance and keep the commitment, rather than just making last-minute plans because he's free that night."
A man who is serious about a relationship will take the time to make concrete plans ahead of time and will make it transparent that he "wants to do something that is clearly a date, such as going to a movie together or taking you out to dinner," Weiss explained. "This signifies that he's not afraid to be dating you, as opposed to just hanging out or hooking up."
He's passionate about something
There is nothing more attractive than a man who is genuinely passionate about something. There's a reason for the saying, "People are prettiest when they talk about something they really love with passion in their eyes." Plus, according to relationship expert Amelia Prinn, having different interests from each other can actually be a good thing and allows each partner to maintain their individuality. "If he has hobbies and interests outside of your relationship and is willing to give you space when needed, consider this a green flag." She continued, saying, "Every relationship needs some space to breathe and develop naturally."
As important as it is to make time for your partner, it's just as important that each partner makes time for themselves outside of the relationship to avoid codependency. And just as it's a green flag when a man listens to what you're passionate about, it's a green flag when he opens up to you about his interests.
He has a good sense of humor
Having a shared sense of humor is what makes a relationship fun and keeps things lighthearted. When a man has a good sense of humor, he won't take life too seriously and if things don't go his way, he's able to roll with the punches and laugh it off. This can also indicate that he has a positive outlook on life and isn't easily bothered.
Being able to make each other laugh and feeling like you can be silly with someone is a kind of comfort nearly everyone wants. Dating coach and matchmaker Lana Otoya told The List, "Laughter can be a powerful tool in creating a positive atmosphere in the relationship and helping to relieve stress." She continued, saying, "A man who is able to make you laugh can also demonstrate that he values your happiness and is committed to creating positive experiences in the relationship."
He keeps his place clean
A guy who makes sure his home is clean prior to seeing you indicates he is a responsible person and is also considerate of you and your comfort. "Looking for a partner who is responsible for their own household responsibilities (cleaning, grocery shopping, etc.) is a big green flag," licensed clinical psychotherapist Lisa Lawless explained to The List.
In a study conducted by Match.com, 91% of single people find their date more attractive if they have a clean bathroom. But, having a clean place goes beyond just being an attractive trait — it can also indicate what living with that person would potentially be like if the relationship were to become serious.
"One thing that many women find challenging in a relationship is someone who is not on top of cleaning up after themselves and managing a household," Lawless explained. "Many women find themselves with a partner who avoids their fair share of the work, leaving them feeling burdened and overwhelmed. Such imbalances can quickly erode the foundation of a healthy and fulfilling relationship."
He takes the time to work on himself
Another green flag is how well a man takes care of his health — including his mental health.
A man who values good hygiene, physical health, and mental health shows how much he values himself. The way he takes care of himself can also be indicative of how he will treat you in the relationship. Relationship expert Amelia Prinn told The List, "A guy who works on himself will be willing to work on his relationship as well, and that is why this is also an important green flag." She continued, saying, "A guy who works on himself is self-disciplined, determined, and goal-oriented."
According to Match.com's 2022 "Singles in America" study, a whopping 87% of single people said it's important for each person in the relationship to focus on their mental health. Thankfully, the percentage of single people who are engaging in this work is nearly as high — 81% of those surveyed said they practice self-care at least once a month.
He is an excellent communicator
A good communicator will be your biggest supporter and shoulder to cry on. As your relationship progresses, you'll feel more comfortable opening up to this person and feel like you can talk about anything without judgment.
Relationship expert and certified sex therapist Aliyah Moore told The List, "Good communication involves active listening, being understanding, and responding in a supportive way." She continued, saying, "It also involves being able to bring up difficult topics, such as disagreements or dissatisfactions, and being able to discuss them calmly and objectively. When two people are able to do this, it is a sign that the relationship has a good chance of lasting."
When you bring an issue to the surface, it's a huge green flag if your partner or potential partner doesn't dismiss your emotions and instead seeks a resolution by empathizing with you and seeing your perspective because he cares about you. When men are able to own up to their faults or even sit down to figure out a solution, it is a sign of emotional maturity. As Moore noted, "If your new guy is able to regulate his emotions, take responsibility for his actions, and communicate effectively when things get tough, then this suggests that he's ready for a serious and committed relationship." A mature man will not ignore you when a conflict arises.