How To Navigate The Dating Talking Stage (And The Ideal Amount Of People For Your Roster)
The talking stage within the dating process can be extremely rewarding but also exhausting in several ways. In essence, it is the start of a potential relationship. During this time, texting and talking on the phone are at an all-time high. Discovering one another's favorite colors, weekend hobbies, work life, favorite music, and movies are all surface-level go-tos in conversations as both parties get to know whether or not they're compatible. It can be an exciting time, as is with anything new.
However, many people don't focus on just one person during this stage. For singles, talking stages can take place with multiple people in an effort to see who stands out the most. Juggling so many different personalities with varying energy can be overwhelming. Keeping up with everyone's interests and tailoring dates and conversations around each individual can be a job within itself. But, have no fear. Navigating through this process can be a beautiful journey that doesn't require overthinking.
Use this time to learn, not rush down the aisle
Slow and steady wins the race, but unfortunately, the social media era can make everything feel accelerated. Since so much of people's lives take over their internet profiles, from family to political beliefs, it's easy for daters to begin a talking stage believing they know everything about their new friend. This is far from the truth. Social media typically only offers the best moments in a person's life. Do not be sucked in by the smoke and mirrors when reading dating profiles to determine if they're partner material.
Many singles will resort to firing off rapid questions during this period. Since it can usually take awhile for both parties to become comfortable, interview-style questions are expected. However, at some point, digging deeper is the goal, especially if lover vibes are picked up. Do they want kids? What are their views on marriage? Do they sleep with the television on or off? It may feel light-hearted, but these nuances have led to break-ups around the world.
Do not only learn about a potential partner. The talking stage should be used to learn about ones self as well. Interacting with multiple someones can bring to light a person's unique interests. Maybe a person wasn't always familiar with rock climbing or wasn't aware of their own internal feelings surrounding children.
Line up your roster, but not with too many players
Unless this is an exclusive talking stage with established boundaries and end goals like the guardrailing dating trend, having a roster is totally fine. If not otherwise stated, no commitment means single. Act upon this. However, talking with several people is time-consuming and can be a bit overwhelming.
Ultimately, the number of people within someone's talking stage is up to how many people they can emotionally withstand at one time. Though, TikTok would argue that this figure should be roughly five people. Experts agree that exploring multiple people has its perks. Behavioral health specialist Cessel Boyd-Lewis told Brides that this process could be fun and informative. In other words, please don't make it a job. If any point the feelings get too strong or simply finding time to entertain more than one person as a time becomes too much to bear, communicate the need for distance with those who aren't the top prospects.
Enjoy the dating journey and every talking stage that comes along with it.