How To Respond If You Receive A Rejection Text After A Date
Rejection is never easy and comes in many different shapes and forms. When you are rejected from a job you applied for or a promotion you wanted, it can seem like they're insulting your capabilities or don't believe in you. However, if someone you are dating rejects you, it can cut way deeper, and it may be hard not to take it personally.
When entering a romantic relationship, there will inevitably be times of vulnerability, where you share your life story, biggest fears, and deepest passions. Putting yourself out there is essential because you want your date to see you for who you are and choose you. Unfortunately, if your vulnerability is met with rejection, your natural desire might be to shut down.
While someone else's disinterest in you should never be taken as a personal attack, it's understandable why it would feel this way. Especially if the rejection was sent in a text after a date, it can feel dismissive and cold. In fact, many people may want to ghost this person entirely, but that's not necessarily the best move, and embracing the anti-ghosting trend can actually make dating a little less scary.
Any response is better than no response
After going on a date with someone and having a nice time, receiving a text from them saying that they aren't interested in pursuing a long-term relationship with you is a hard pill to swallow. Your natural inclination may be to block this person and pretend like they never existed. This means no response to their text, explanation, or communication. Basically, out of sight, out of mind. While some people don't know how to tell if someone is ghosting them, to others, it's obvious.
While ghosting is deemed socially acceptable, and washing your hands of someone who rejected you may seem like the easiest option, it's not the best choice. Dating coach Ali Jackson is a relationship expert who suggests acknowledging their text in a polite way by sending a brief response back.
As Elite Daily explains, ghosting hurts and can come across as disrespectful. Instead of participating in this "bad behavior," focus on giving closure to the conversation. At the end of the day, your date's honesty may hurt, but it is better than them lying to you, leading you on, or ghosting you themself. Expressing gratitude for their transparency exemplifies maturity, kindness, and mutual respect.
You deserve clarity
Of course, don't be afraid to ask for what you need. Often, ignoring a rejection text assumes that this person knows how upset you feel, but they don't unless you communicate that. It's okay to stand up for yourself and get the answers you deserve.
Perhaps you were hurt that they decided to end things over a text message instead of having the decency to call you. Maybe you don't understand what went wrong and want to know where values didn't align. Asking your date for a quick phone call may feel like a bold move, but it's actually a very mature approach. It's easy to hide your emotions behind a screen or ignore them altogether, but practicing healthy communication will only benefit you. Plus, it can help you be clear and direct about what you want on future dates.
It is advised to approach this conversation with a clear head and your emotions in check. Ultimately, you're not trying to change their mind but simply asking for feedback. While they may feel like there just wasn't a spark, there is also a chance that it was something else that you would be open to change in the future, like the topics of conversation you brought up. While rejection inevitably stings, getting some clarity out of it can at least help you move forward with closure.