Here's How To Spot A Narcissist On A First Date

No one wants to be on a date with a narcissist, but then again, sometimes you don't know what you're dealing with until you're already there. Horrible as the situation may be, it's all too common, and any of us could end up there when we least expect it. Picture this: The person seemed pretty normal while you were messaging on a dating app. Their photos looked cute and their personality was solid, they asked you out, and so here you are. However, you almost feel like it wouldn't matter if you weren't there at all since the date is clearly all about them. You don't feel butterflies — you just feel bad.

If you do get that sneaking feeling that the person you're getting drinks or going on a walk with might be a narcissist, it's important to follow your intuition. Trust your gut feeling enough to ask more questions. Are they exhibiting signs of narcissism? What are those signs, anyway? Keeping your eyes peeled for any potential red flags will help you avoid narcissists altogether (or enable you to make a quick exit if one slips through the cracks).

Fortunately, there are many telltale signs of a covert narcissist on a date, so if you suspect that yours might be one, look out for these specific red flags. Per Psychology Today, a narcissist is likely to give you unsolicited advice about personal matters during a date, and they'll usually pay no mind if you try to drive the conversation away from their suggestions; they'll relentlessly keep forcing their opinions about your life on you.

Also, pay attention to their reaction if you disagree with them about anything during your conversation. Spoiler: A narcissist won't take a disagreement lightly. In fact, they'll let you know exactly how they feel by attacking you until you give up or leave. Don't worry about trying to win the argument because they certainly won't admit defeat. Generally speaking, they will appear to have a superiority complex and believe that they know absolutely everything.

Narcissists tend to lack empathy, have a huge sense of entitlement, act in manipulative ways, and can be overall painful to be around. That said, it's completely understandable why you'd want to leave that date and ghost the person if the signs are there. Since you won't be able to change them and you won't ever satisfy them, it's best to do just that. There's no need to explain yourself, either. You're justified in never contacting them again and not explaining why.

The truth is, you deserve someone who will see you as a whole person, respect you, admire you, and make you a priority in their life. Sure, a narcissist can seem charming at first, but the charm isn't worth the pain that's likely to follow. There are plenty of wonderful people out there just waiting to meet you. Until then, take yourself on a solo date (or 10)! Spending quality time listening to yourself and getting to know yourself better is a beautiful, beautiful thing.