How To Be Less Dramatic When Your Life Starts To Feel Like A Reality TV Episode
Are you always the one with the juiciest new gossip or the most severe lack of filter? Are people always calling you a "drama queen" regardless of your gender? Do you find yourself aggressively journaling about how everyone's out to get you? If you answered yes to all of those questions, you may have a Need For Drama (NFD) personality type. NFD is pretty much exactly what it sounds like: You just can't help it — you love a little drama. But sadly, the drama probably doesn't always love you back.
Basically, it feels like your life is akin to a series like "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" or "Vanderpump Rules." Every week, there's a new episode with a brand new scandal, and you're at the center. It can be difficult to tell if you actually have an NFD personality or if you just like to have a little toxic fun sometimes, so here are the signs to look out for and what you can do about it.
The signs that you might have a Need for Drama (NFD) personality
There are a variety of telltale signs that can help determine if you have NFD personality traits. First off, if you're perpetually in conflict with others and always feel or act like the victim in every situation, that can be a big hint. Also, if you enjoy gossiping a little too much — to the point where you feel almost addicted — that's another sign. Someone with an NFD personality usually enjoys messing with other people for the sake of it and speaking their mind without any filter, too. In other words, this personality type likes to stir things up for their own amusement, and they don't necessarily consider the consequences while they're doing it.
Habits like these don't just come out of nowhere; in many cases, people develop NFD as a way of overcompensating for something that they didn't get when they were children. If your emotional needs weren't met when you were younger and these habits sound familiar, there are ways for you to remove yourself from the dramatic cycle.
How to manage NFD
Not to fear: If you're unhappy with your NFD, there are ways to work through it and feel the need for drama a little bit less. New York City–based therapist Rachel Wiss told Psychology Today that group therapy is a solid management option. According to Wiss, this type of therapy "can help people understand these high-drama situations in a safe environment by slowing down the pace before the drama level gets too high." She added, "It's a chance to notice their own intentions when interacting with others. There's often a mismatch between the intention and what ends up getting communicated, which might leave those with a high need for drama feeling isolated and victimized."
People do tend to grow out of NFD as they get older, but gaining awareness and considering if you might benefit from seeing a therapist are great ways to address these behaviors head-on. If you want to feel better about yourself and your relationships with others, you can definitely get there if you do the work. Drama might seem fun in the moment, but it's just not worth the damage to your social life and self-esteem in the long run.