Never Fighting Could Be A Sign You're Too Comfortable In Your Relationship
While some romantic relationships are filled with fighting that appears to be quite harmful, it's good to recognize that not all fighting is bad or unhealthy. There are many healthy relationship habits most people think are toxic. In fact, some fighting might actually be essential. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and embracing the various seasons that come with a romantic partnership is important. Working through the struggles that arise together allows couples to overcome the inevitable challenges that life throws at them. This also strengthens the relationship and helps each partner feel more confident in the connection they share.
Many people unconsciously avoid conflict or have feelings of anxiety any time there is a disagreement. However, instead of shutting down, showing up and explaining your emotions is imperative. Without this honesty and emotional vulnerability, it's easy to become complicit in your relationship. Of course, defining what fighting is within a partnership can be helpful in putting everything into context.
Couples therapist Gary Brown explained to Elite Daily that understanding the difference between arguing and fighting is extremely important for healthy relationships. While arguing hinges on partners expressing their opposing views or differing opinions in a respectful way, fighting is an escalated version that focuses more on winning the argument despite how your words may hurt the other person. Therefore, being intentional with how you approach disagreements as a couple is key.
Love is usually shown through passion
When two people feel strongly about something but disagree, it can lead to strife. Of course, if you care deeply about the other person involved, it adds complexity to the mix. However, fighting or arguing takes effort and shows a level of care for the relationship.
The truth is, relationships thrive when two individual people not only support each other's solo growth but prioritize the growth of the relationship. This may come out in passionate fights from time to time, but understanding the goals at the root of each argument is imperative. Interestingly, if you never fight or argue, it may be a sign that the relationship is dwindling.
Relationship coach Megan Lambert told Elite Daily that conflict avoidance is often what occurs when partners start putting up walls and being more emotionally reserved with their partners. Fighting can be vulnerable, but when couples start feeling like there's no point, it creates a lifeless relationship. Instead of addressing problems or disagreements as a couple, in order to strengthen their bond, they turn inward and simply keep the peace out of convenience.
What is a healthy comfort level in a relationship?
When relationships are new and exciting, each partner is usually on their best behavior because they want to make a good impression. However, that intentionality can slip away as partners fall into a routine together. Instead of planning romantic date nights or setting aside time to have uninterrupted conversations, they get caught up in the mundanity of daily life together. While this may feel comfortable, it's not necessarily the best way to keep your relationship thriving.
Instead, prioritizing communication, even in the midst of difficult subjects, will strengthen your bond and help you stay connected. One of the many reasons why marriages suffer from communication breakdowns is because it becomes difficult to simply talk openly with your partner. Deep conversations can be draining but very fulfilling.
Psychologist Kayla Steele explained to Refinery29 that feeling comfortable in your relationship is important because it establishes trust. However, this ideally leads to a sense of security that allows for emotional connectivity. Feeling safe with your partner leaves room for fights, arguments, and disagreements to occur healthily. Therefore, if you and your partner never experience conflict, it might be time to reassess the relationship's strength.