What It Means If You Never Fight With Your Partner
While some couples view their passionate fighting as a badge of honor, it doesn't necessarily point to compatibility. Of course, personality and life circumstances have a lot to do with the various relationship dynamics you experience. If all the major pieces of your life are stable and stress-free, it can be much easier to have a chill demeanor or a "go-with-the-flow" attitude. Similarly, tense times in life can bring out more hostility in people, especially regarding financial struggles, career changes, housing arrangements, or major life decisions.
Therefore, noticing how stress can lead to an argument between you and your partner will help you both learn how to de-escalate a situation. Since there will inevitably be challenging seasons in life, knowing how to overcome them with your partner is essential for a healthy relationship.
A common misconception that society has popularized is the idea that not fighting with your partner is a bad thing. Friends and family members may assume that you avoid conflict, don't discuss important topics, or passively communicate. However, it's important to know that not fighting with your partner is okay — and may even benefit your relationship.
You've learned how to disagree agreeably
Throughout a relationship, you're bound to discover certain topics that you and your partner disagree on. Whether it's as simple as which ice cream flavor is the best or a more prominent social issue, learning how to explain your point of view without the fear of judgment is healthy. Plus, creating an environment of safety within your relationship allows for that vulnerability because neither partner is questioning if they will be accepted as they are.
A lot of times, acceptance within a relationship stems from establishing similar core values. This allows each partner to feel like they know the heart of the other person, even if they don't see eye-to-eye on every little thing. The big things were communicated early on, which means disagreements don't have to turn into fights.
Licensed psychologist Janna Koretz explained to Bustle that fighting within relationships is indicative of poor communication skills because neither partner is working to understand the perspective of the other. Instead, they each get louder in an attempt to defend themselves or their point of view. Interestingly, this may explain the reason couples should hold hands during a fight. While tumultuous relationships that include screaming and yelling have been normalized as the pinnacle of passion, it's not only possible but quite common to have an amazing partnership while avoiding this type of communication.
Fighting doesn't have to be seen as a good thing
Often, people in your life may get concerned about the lack of fighting with your partner because they believe it's a sign that you both avoid conflict and confrontation. Instead of bringing up difficult issues, they assume you brush things under the rug to keep the peace.
However, clinical psychologist Joshua Klapow explained to Elite Daily that couples that can prevent heated arguments or fights simply have a different mindset when it comes to disagreements. For example, they avoid the worst things to say during a fight with their partner. Instead of viewing conversations as battles that have a winner or loser, there is a mutual goal of wanting to understand where their partner is coming from without saying anything to hurt them.
This often results in amazing listening skills and fewer arguments. Instead, discussions that include disagreements get resolved because one person speaks authentically while the other person truly hears them and vice versa. Of course, if you and your partner never fight, it may be worthwhile to analyze your communication styles and level of emotional vulnerability. However, if you feel confident about how you work through differences, you likely have nothing to worry about.