Here's Why Ending A Situationship May Be Harder Than A Relationship Breakup
When you first meet someone you consider attractive and who appears to be interested in you, you may have several thoughts. You could approach them knowing you are dating with intention in mind, or you can decide that hooking up with them is all that matters. That's the powerful thing about choice; you get to decide what's best for you based on the point you're at in life. But, what happens if you choose to hookup with someone and it turns into a situationship that goes sour?
The thing about this is that you don't have to look far to find ways to navigate a relationship breakup in pop culture, but ending a situationship can feel confusing, if not difficult. Depending on how long your situationship lasted, it may be both, and that's not always easy to deal with. It can actually make you want to opt out of hookup culture in the future.
You may unknowingly place your former partner on a pedestal
The truth is that no one goes into relationships or situationships ready to romanticize their idea of a person, but it's something that can happen. According to relationship expert Jaime Bronstein, as interviewed by the New York Post, "You don't really know the person, so you put them on a pedestal [and] completely idolize and idealize the relationship." Granted, having fantasies about someone isn't inherently bad, but it can distort your view of reality.
This makes the end of a situationship hard because you may have created a version of the person in your mind that doesn't exist. You might not have gotten the chance to know them on an intimate level like you would a serious romantic partner, making it that much more difficult when you realize they aren't the perfect person you had imagined. Additionally, you may have ignored red flags that could have indicated the person you were hooking up with wasn't someone you could trust long-term.
Boundaries are less likely to be established
Being attracted to another person and wanting to hook up with them is natural, but you risk being unable to look at your situation objectively. There's a strong possibility that you could forego discussing boundaries because you're so focused on how the attraction makes you feel. However, expectations are important to talk about whether you're exclusively dating or not. You can't guess what the other person has in mind for the situationship and vice versa, so talking through things can help avoid the disappointment that comes if things end.
When boundaries aren't discussed, this leaves room for the other person to ghost you when they feel they've had enough of your arrangement, or you may realize assumptions are creating tension between the two of you. Although the outcome may not mirror a romantic relationship, choosing to skip conversations about the duration of the situationship or whether you're free to date other people can cause unnecessary confusion that leads to arguments and hurt feelings. No one enters a casual partnership looking to get hurt, but unclear boundaries guarantee the possibility.