What To Know Before Dating Women For The First Time

Getting into a new relationship can give you more than just butterflies in your stomach. It can also leave you feeling uneasy and even scared, especially if you have a lot of unpacked trauma. When you add dating a woman for the first time into the mix, then you could get easily get overwhelmed with the jitters. First-timer dating anxiety is very common and overcoming it might seem like a Herculean task. 

Moreover, if you've only ever dated men, then wanting to see someone from the same gender can feel like a huge step into the unknown. It's understandable to feel burdened about how much you don't know or how inexperienced you are. But just rest assured that, if you are planning on trying out dating women for the first time, then you're probably overthinking it completely. 

You may be worrying about what you should or shouldn't do, how different your dating histories might be, or all the things that could possibly go wrong. So first and foremost, pop a chill pill and take a deep breath. It's totally normal to freak out over a new experience, but the truth is that worrying won't solve your problems. However, finding out what you need to know about dating women for the first time will. 

Let go of imposter syndrome and insecurity about your inexperience

It's okay to be nervous about taking a new dating route and opting to go for women after a lifetime of dating men. If you're stressing out about being the newest member of hashtag WLW, then some feedback from dating and relationship experts should ease your mind. Plenty of women who decide to date women for the first time struggle with imposter syndrome. It gets significantly worse when you make this decision later in life. 

But Autostraddle editor-in-chief Riese Bernard informed Glamour that plenty of women only start to date the same sex in their later years, so it won't be "as shocking to people as you think." The feeling of being the new kid on the block is heightened when you're updating your dating app profile to make it stand out and you're stuck wondering how much intimate information you should share to explain your change of desire. 

"Orange Is the New Black" writer Lauren Morelli advised that the best thing to do in this case is to act as you would if you were dating men. She also admonished potential worriers to not be overly apologetic about any lack of experience. "After all, if you were looking to meet a man, you wouldn't feel the need to disclose how many guys you've dated or when you lost your virginity," Morelli stated. "These things will come up organically."

Look at dating through the perspective of making a new friend

Just about everyone has experienced anxiety or apprehension about being judged for trying something new, but in this case, there's really no reason. Dating might sound like a war zone when you hear certain horror stories from the trenches, but bear in mind that the best relationships are borne from great friendships. When you see it from the perspective of making a new friend and go from there, it takes a lot of the pressure off.

It also gives you the space to relax and enjoy the ride. Instead of putting so much stress on yourself trying to figure out how to impress someone you haven't even met yet, you should take some time to reflect on who you need to be in order to make the relationship work. Focus on the things you can control rather than those you can't. 

Despite the random dopamine bursts that come from finding new love, being rejected by your own kind may sound nerve-wracking, but don't let it deter you. The most important thing to remember is that your personal choices brought you here. You made up your mind and so you deserve the best your new relationship has to offer.