Tori Spelling And Dean McDermott's Complete Relationship Timeline
When it comes to Hollywood romances that stand the test of time, Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott's marriage is more of a soap opera than a fairytale. The highs and oh-so-crushing lows of this couple's epic rollercoaster of a marriage have spawned much tabloid gossip and speculation. In fact, it's been a hot minute since Spelling has generated headlines for her professional life, as opposed to her private one. As for Dean McDermott ... well, he's still Dean McDermott, a.k.a. Mr. Tori Spelling.
There's no denying that the '90s teen icon has put up with far more from her man than even the most patient spouses would tolerate. "Daily on the street, I meet women that give me a hug and say, 'I've been through this,'" Spelling said, per People. "Someone the other day was like, 'My husband and I went through this, and 22 years later we're stronger than ever,' and I just started crying." In the wake of cheating scandals and her own hubby calling the cops on her, Spelling has been through it. But if recent rumors are to be believed, she's unwilling to go through it anymore.
Could this be the end of everyone's problematic fave couple? Only time will tell whether these two are calling it quits for good, so let's take a trip down memory lane and find out where it all went wrong. It's going to be a bumpy ride: here's a deep dive into Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott's complete relationship timeline.
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott's relationship started with infidelity
The start of the Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott romance saga was messy, to say the least. In 2005, Spelling's husband of a year, Charlie Shanian, filed for divorce after he noticed that she was getting rather cozy with McDermott, whom she'd met on the set of "Mind over Murder." Meanwhile, McDermott's ex-wife, Mary Jo Eustace, accused Spelling of stealing her man. In the book "The Other Woman," Eustace described her shock at discovering that her husband was leaving her for the "90210" alumnus, despite knowing her for just three weeks. "Without any warning, the man who had been my partner for 13 years and our sweet little family were slipping away without any input from me," she wrote.
Similarly, in her memoir "STORI Telling" (via People), Spelling recalled the pain of Shanian discovering that she'd slept with McDermott. "He said, 'It was with Dean, wasn't it?'" she wrote. "I said yes. He said, 'I should have known.' He left angry and hurt, and I felt sorry and sad."
But she insisted that she had no regrets about her infidelity, revealing that she fell in love with McDermott the moment she set eyes on him. "Ultimately, you have to realize that happiness is out there and not settle for anything else," she told Redbook (via CBS News). Weeks after divorcing Shanian in 2006, she wed McDermott in Fiji. "I have never been happier in my life," McDermott gushed to People.
The couple soon welcomed their first child
Their relationship may have been kickstarted by controversy, but Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott quickly started to build a traditional family unit. In December 2006, the couple announced that they were expecting. Spelling gave birth to their first child, Liam Aaron, in March 2007.
It was a year of new beginnings for the star, whose pregnancy coincided with her reconciliation with her estranged mother, Candy. "When she walked through that hospital door when I was in labor, it was like I had just seen her yesterday," Spelling told Us Weekly (via Access). "We both started to cry and hug, and I said, 'I love you, Mommy,' and she said, 'I love you.' That was it. I wish my dad got to see it, but I think he is looking down on us."
But despite these positive changes in her life, the specter of unfaithfulness still loomed large. Mere days after Spelling gave birth, Charlie Shanian dished the dirt to GQ (via People), slamming both his ex-wife and McDermott, as well as the former's parents. One of the most painful aspects of the split was Spelling's admission that she didn't want to have children with Shanian, only to fall pregnant with McDermott's child almost immediately after. "She didn't want to have children with me," he said. "She'd only married me because I loved her and took care of her ... and, oh yeah, while in Canada, she'd cheated on me with her latest Lifetime-movie co-star."
Tori and Dean let the reality TV cameras into their lives
As if being front and center of innumerable gossip mags wasn't enough, Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott opted for further exposure when they launched their reality series, "Tori & Dean: Inn Love" (later renamed "Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood"). The show, which debuted shortly after Spelling gave birth, was initially focused on the couple's entrepreneurial endeavors; the pair opened up a bed and breakfast, Chateau La Rue, with the $800,000 Spelling reportedly inherited from her late father, Aaron.
For Spelling, the decision to let the reality TV cameras into her life just made sense. "That wasn't a choice I was given," she told the Houston Chronicle. "My life is a reality (series). My life is on TV every day. So I thought why not do this?" "Tori & Dean" was a hit and ran for six seasons. By 2008, the show focused solely on the couple's family life, with Spelling and McDermott leaving Chateau La Rue behind.
Reviewing the series in 2009, The New York Times argued that the couple's familial dynamic, i.e. Spelling being the perpetually burnt-out supermom juggling work, parenting, and publicity in contrast to McDermott's largely out-of-work actor occasionally appearing in B movie fare, appeared to be at the center of much strife. As such, the outlet suggested that Spelling was struggling to conceal her resentment at being the family's main breadwinner, one who, unlike her husband, has no time to engage in hobbies.
Divorce rumors began circulating
Though Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott's relationship has been typified by strife in recent years, trouble reportedly began brewing pretty early on. By 2010, cracks seemingly started to show when an episode of their reality show (via Glamour) saw the couple in the throes of a vicious argument. It appears that the aforementioned New York Times assessment had some veracity to it, with Spelling accusing her hubby of not being ambitious or working hard enough. "It's pilot season right now, babe. You're not even trying!" Spelling yelled at her beau, who reacted defensively.
Subsequently, rumors began circulating that the couple was heading for a divorce. However, in a chat with Access Hollywood, Spelling laughed off such claims. "We're a normal married couple and I think it gets heightened when it's in the press and you're in the public eye," Spelling insisted. "No relationship is perfect. No marriage is perfect. There's ebbs and flows and we go through struggles just like everyone else." Meanwhile, McDermott claimed that the argument was taken out of context for the purposes of tabloid clicks.
But in an interview with CNN to promote her book "uncharted terriTORI," Spelling admitted that the couple was indeed having problems, largely caused by McDermott's inability to adjust to his wife's "workaholic tendencies." "Dean and I haven't hid the fact that we've had a rough year," she confessed. Although she conceded that she wanted a perfect marriage, she acknowledged that no relationship is without its faults.
The couple renewed their vows
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott proved that the only rocks in their marriage were the ones on their fingers (worth $15,000, to be precise). Possibly as one giant bird flip to the haters, the pair renewed their vows just four years into their marriage.
Chatting to Us Weekly, Spelling said that the vow renewal ceremony was illustrative of a fresh start for the pair following their marital issues. "This is a rebirth," she said. "We've gone through our ups and downs, but we wouldn't have changed a moment of it." The pair also symbolically reconciled their differences at the ceremony, with the décor of the venue reflecting their disparate passions — motorcycles and scuba diving for McDermott and shoes and bling for Spelling. Sweetly, their children were in attendance, as was Spelling's formerly estranged mom.
According to some, however, this gesture was indeed a signifier of trouble in paradise. Writing for MetroWest Daily News, author Betsy Hart claimed that a renewal of vows is a degradation of the original promises married couples make to each other. She also took aim at Spelling and McDermott's marriage having been founded on infidelity. Regardless, the renewal clearly made sense for the couple, who wanted to start anew following their contretemps. "We thought we had the perfect relationship," Spelling explained to Us Weekly in a later interview. "We realized we love each other, but the communication had completely broken down and a lot of our issues, honestly, came from parenting."
Tori and Dean welcomed four more children together
Some celebs have a lot more kids than we realized. Despite all the rumors of disharmony, Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott have an eye-popping brood. In 2008, they welcomed their second child and first daughter, Stella, followed by a second daughter, Hattie, in 2011. "I wrapped up the pregnancy test in a box and bow and gave it to Dean as his Valentine's Day gift," Spelling told People regarding her 2011 pregnancy. "He was beyond surprised. Best gift ever!"
The couple expanded their family further when Spelling became pregnant with the couple's son, Finn, just one month after giving birth to Hattie. Giving an interview at her book launch (via Today), she revealed that McDermott encouraged her to ignore their doctor's advice to abstain from sex for six months. "Dean was like, 'They tell everyone that,'" she said. "We didn't wait that long with Stella or Liam. I was like, 'Well, I don't want him to think that the sex is going downhill,' so now we're on baby No. 4."
Her pregnancy with Finn was traumatic, with Spelling experiencing complications after 20 weeks. "There was so much blood I thought, 'I'm dying. Not just [losing] the baby, but I'm dying,'" she told People. Thanks to her daughter Stella calling McDermott, who took her to the hospital, both Spelling and Finn were saved. In 2017, the couple welcomed their fifth child, Beau, with McDermott telling E! that he wasn't ruling out having even more kids.
Dean McDermott admitted to cheating on Tori Spelling
Just one year after welcoming their fourth child, Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott were rocked by scandal. In 2013, McDermott, then aged 47, was exposed for cheating on his wife with Emily Goodhand, who was 28 at the time. In an interview with Us Weekly, Goodhand discussed the affair in lurid detail, revealing that the older actor invited her up to his hotel room on two consecutive occasions. "He told me he and Tori had a sexless marriage," she claimed. "I believed him."
The following year, McDermott admitted that he cheated on Spelling. In 2019, he opened up about the rationale behind the affair on his "Daddy Issues" podcast (via TooFab). He explained that his infidelity had nothing to do with Spelling, but was a reflection of his own self-loathing. "For me, it wasn't about T, it was about inadequacies with myself," he said. "I felt so bad about myself ... I needed to do that to feel some kind of power."
For Spelling, one of the most painful aspects of the ordeal was McDermott being confronted by their children. During an appearance on the "Women on Top" podcast, she recalled her daughter coming across online gossip regarding the affair. "My daughter saw something and it really upset her," she said. "She said, 'Daddy, I saw something online that said ... you cheated on mommy.'" Subsequently, she conceded that she would one day have to sit her kids down for a serious chat about the scandal.
The couple went into therapy
In true Tori and Dean fashion, the twosome worked through their marital woes in the glare of the spotlight. In a 2014 episode of the couple's reality series "True Tori" (via E!), McDermott disclosed that he suffered from sex addiction and went to rehab for treatment. Meanwhile, Spelling recalled the moment in which she discovered her husband was unfaithful, revealing that her publicist called her to break the news that Goodhand had spilled the tea to the press.
Accordingly, they entered couple's therapy, with their sessions being broadcast as part of the reality series. During one such session, McDermott opened up about his issues with compulsive behavior. "Sex was an escape, just like drugs and alcohol," he admitted. He also lamented that he and Spelling were having sex every two weeks, something with which he was dissatisfied. This upset Spelling, who conceded that she could never give her husband enough sex. "He's never going to be happy with just me," she cried, as McDermott comforted her.
Long after "True Tori" ended, the couple continued with their therapy sessions. According to insiders, almost a decade of counseling proved highly beneficial to the pair. "Marriage counseling has been a huge part of how they are trying to work things out, and so far, it's gone fairly well," a source told Entertainment Tonight in 2023, adding, "Everyone is doing their best to keep things afloat and live a life that's as normal as possible and trying to stay happy."
Tori welcomed her husband back amid the scandal
Following the scandal, Dean McDermott attempted to make amends for his behavior. Though sources told the Daily Mail that the couple was initially considering divorce, McDermott apparently showed his loyalty to Spelling after she fell ill with a virus in 2014. He reportedly became a dedicated house husband and stay-at-home dad, caring for the couple's kids while Spelling recovered in the hospital. This led to Spelling seeing McDermott in a different light. "Tori says that the way Dean took control and was there when she needed him, reminded her of the man she married," the source divulged.
On the "Women on Top" podcast, Spelling reflected on her decision to welcome her hubby back despite the hurt he caused. "We didn't just say, like, 'Okay, this is over,'" she explained. "We worked hard on it. We got through it and we're not perfect ... We have problems, but we value each other." She also revealed that the scandal led to greater communication between the two, with the actor conceding that she and McDermott weren't communicating at all prior to his very public indiscretion.
Spelling may have forgiven McDermott, but he was pretty blunt when discussing his issues with staying faithful. "Monogamy is hard for, I guess, several reasons — for wanting that initial lust that we have intrinsically built into us," he told Us Weekly. "Men, we're like, we need to spread our seed everywhere. It's [been] in our DNA for millions and millions of years."
The pair faced financial hardship
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott found themselves engulfed in further drama when there were reports that they were facing financial ruin. In 2014, Spelling claimed in an episode of "True Tori" (via E!) that she and her husband had blown through a whopping $18 million throughout the course of their relationship. As such, they were apparently living paycheck to paycheck, with Spelling's mom offering to pay for her grandchildren's schooling, though she refused to accept any help. Though McDermott suggested that his wife could cut her spending and sell some of her valuables to save cash, Spelling refused. "I don't want to change our lifestyle," she insisted. "That's why I work so hard."
By January 2016, the couple's financial situation worsened when American Express sued Spelling for failure to pay $37,981.97 in credit card debt. Accordingly, there were reports that the family was on the brink of bankruptcy, though Spelling laughed off such claims as little more than tabloid tattle. However, court documents suggest that the matter was indeed grave. That summer, Spelling and McDermott were hit by another financial blow when the state of California sought hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid taxes from them, subsequently making a $259,108.23 claim against their home.
A judge ordered Spelling to pay the American Express debt, as well as $855 in fees, that October. The tax situation, however, remains unresolved; in 2023, there were claims that the debt had mounted to over $1.3 million.
Dean McDermott expressed concern over Tori Spelling's mental health
The couple's marriage began to unravel towards the tail end of the 2010s. In March 2018, Dean McDermott called the cops to his Los Angeles home, alleging that his wife was suffering from a mental health crisis. A police officer later confirmed that the call pertained to a domestic incident though declined to give further details.
Just days after the first incident, McDermott called the cops to check on his wife again, after she left the house in an allegedly troubled state. The police ended up arriving at Spelling's doctor's office, though they determined that she and her children were not in any danger.
At the time, insiders expressed concern for Spelling's mental well-being. "The last year has been really tough on Tori," a source told People. "She has a ton of pressure and stress, with the kids, work and her marriage. She internalizes a lot of her anxiety and she knows it's not healthy for her. Of course she's going to get to a breaking point eventually." Similarly, sources who spoke to Entertainment Tonight alleged that the police's first wellness check was a huge wake-up call for the perennially overworked Spelling, who was still struggling with the aftermath of McDermott's cheating and finally realized that she needed to prioritize her mental health. Meanwhile, fellow reality star Corinne Olympios attributed Spelling's alleged agitation to the pressures of motherhood, telling TMZ that she struggled with welcoming two babies in quick succession.
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott have reportedly called it quits
By 2021, the end appeared nigh for Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott when the former revealed that they were sleeping in different beds. In June 2023, McDermott announced on Instagram (via People) that he and Spelling were divorcing. "It's with great sadness and a very very heavy heart that after 18 years together and 5 amazing children, that @torispelling and I have decided to go our separate ways, and start a new journey of our own," he wrote. He swiftly deleted the post, leading to considerable confusion.
Shortly after McDermott made the announcement, sources told Us Weekly that the couple were not divorcing and their relationship was in fact better than it had ever been. Conversely, insiders who chatted to People echoed McDermott's initial statement. "[Dean] 100 percent wants to get out of the marriage," a source alleged. "He took down the post because Tori didn't want him to keep it up. But he's packing his bags... He can't take it anymore." Others told the Daily Mail that he felt Spelling was overly demanding and took him for granted.
He was soon spotted carrying boxes into a storage facility. Meanwhile, Spelling was also seen carrying suitcases of personal belongings into a friend's house. All the while, she wore a jacket emblazoned with the words, "What the actual f*** is going on?", perhaps echoing the public's collective confusion over whether it truly is over for everyone's favorite hot mess couple.