Signs To Know If You're A Toxic Friend
Ever feel like you're in one of those friendships that just makes you feel like the bad guy whenever you hang out or talk? Friendships should add something to your life, like support, love, fun, and laughter, but sometimes you might be the bad person in the relationship. As there are two sides to every friendship, take a good, long look at yourself. Are you a supportive friend or a toxic one? Here are some signs that you might be a mean girl.
Complaining all the time
Friends are supposed to offer an ear to the negative things going on in their buddies' lives, because it always helps to talk things out. Just don't be the kind of friend who does it way too much or makes it a one-way street. We get it—your job sucks, your boyfriend's a jerk, and your mother's controlling. You're not the only one who feels that way. Make sure you give your friends the opportunity to vent back and return their texts when they're trying to do the same. Friendships, like all kinds of relationships, go two ways.
Giving out backhanded compliments
Backhanded compliments are just sugar-coated ways of getting away with something you wouldn't directly say. "I love how you can just wear anything and not care how you look!" or "That outfit is so slimming!" are thinly veiled criticisms. And most friends are able to read between the lines. Compliments are meant to be filled with genuine positivity, not disguised criticisms.
Being oblivious to what's going on with them
If you expect everybody to remember what's going in your life, you should know what's going on in your friends' lives. Do you completely forget birthdays or major happenings with your closest friends? If so, you're being emotionally selfish by not listening. Ask questions, stay involved, and keep track of what's happening with the people you supposedly care for.
Gossiping about them when they're not around
Gossiping about a so-called friend is just toxic behavior, especially if you're breaking their trust in you. If they told you something in confidence, and you share it with somebody else to have fun at their expense or make yourself feel better about your own problems, you're betraying that trust. You wouldn't want it happening to you, so don't do it to your compadres.
Not being happy for their success
Your friends' successes are not a referendum on you and your life. Their success is good news for them—and it doesn't have to mean bad news for you. If you get jealous or angry when somebody else gets a promotion, falls in love, or has some other kind of breakthrough in life, there's something going on with you. Be happy for a friend's success, and they'll do the same for you.