Reasons Not To Rush Into Marriage

Elvis' timeless lyrics of "Wise men say, 'only fools rush in,'" still hold true today. Racing to get married is dangerous not just for your relationship, but also your own sanity. Here are just a few reasons why you shouldn't exchange vows too quickly.

A marriage is more than a wedding

It's easy to feel anxious about tying the knot when you're a bridesmaid for the seventh time and all your friends are hitched. However, that's not an actual reason to get married. Sure, you want a day all to yourself to wear a big white dress and be the center of attention, but you have to understand that after that one day, the rest of your life with this other person begins. That's a really long time. Once you're done picking out flatware and first dance songs, you're going to live with this person for good. If you can't see past the party, you're not ready for the commitment.


It can cost you big time

Weddings are expensive to begin with, and divorces are even worse. Rushing into a marriage means you have less time to save up for what's supposedly the most important day of your life. Wedding costs aside, marriages are expensive—especially if you don't have a prenup. Chances are, if you're racing down the aisle, one of you probably really doesn't want to get one. If that person is your partner, it may cost you big time. At least give yourself enough time to protect your own assets in case Mr. or Mrs. Wonderful turns out to be Mr. or Mrs. Wrong, okay?


It's desperate

If you're rushing to get married because you're scared of being alone, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Also, you're more likely to end up with someone who isn't good for you and treats you poorly, because you haven't spent enough time to get to know them behind closed doors without anyone else around. Don't let your desperation blind you to obvious red flags, because what you settle for is ultimately what you'll get.


If you rush into a marriage with someone, you run the risk of missing out on someone with whom you'd be a much better match. If your partner really is your soulmate, they should be willing to wait another a year to spend the rest of your lives together. If not, cut your losses and wait for someone with patience.

You'll make gruesome discoveries

Just imagine if he doesn't leave the seat down, or worse—he doesn't flush at all. Is this really what you want 'til death do you part? It takes a long time, possibly years, to really get to know the person you're dating. Getting married after a few months together means you're still learning things about each other, which may seem to keep the romance interesting, but may make you realize you're not compatible. Incompatibility is difficult to deal with when you already have a legally binding contract to stay together.


What if after the wedding you find out you're not on the same page about kids? Giving yourselves enough time to have these conversations and assess your futures as individuals, as well as together, is super important to the lifespan of your marriage.

You may push your partner away

If you're pressuring your partner to get married before they are ready, they may just bolt. Not respecting your partner's wishes or boundaries means you're not mature enough to be in a relationship. Being aggressive and rushing about spending the rest of your lives together isn't going to sweeten the pot for them. Likewise, if they're pressuring you, the same applies: Either slow down or run for the hills.


Your problems won't go away once you're married

If you and your partner don't see eye to eye on things like bills and babies—or even just whether or not you should be allowed to text friendly exes—tying the knot won't fix those problems and bridge these gaps. Marriage may make one or both of you briefly happy, but those issues will certainly return. If he doesn't want kids, wants you to work multiple jobs, or if he won't stop texting his college girlfriend who makes you feel uneasy, he's probably not going to change his mind on any of those things, no matter how grand a soiree you throw to celebrate your union.


Splitting up becomes a lot harder to do

It's not romantic, but it's necessary to talk about, so let's rip off this Band-Aid: your relationship may not last forever, and adding an expensive ring won't improve its chances. Breaking up is hard to do, but you know what's even harder to do than that? Divorce. Splits are tough, but divorces bring a lot of paperwork, lawyers, strife, and time with them. If you haven't been together that long, at least wait until the honeymoon period is over before legally binding yourself to your partner—because breaking that contract is even more hellish than breaking a heart.


You're insecure

If you want a spouse for validation, you're never going to find it. A husband or wife is an awesome complement to your life, but you have to understand first that no other person will ever complete you. Real life isn't Jerry Maguire. In order to find a partner who's worth their salt, you have to complete yourself first.