The Real Difference Between Boyfriend Material And Husband Material
Dating can be difficult. Finding a person you want to spend enough time with to call them your boyfriend is hard enough, but how do you make the jump from boyfriend to husband? Not everyone who is boyfriend material is husband material. How do you know if a guy you've been seeing has what it takes to be a good life partner?
Finding someone to spend the rest of your life with is serious business. It's smart to have criteria in mind of what you want in a future husband before you fall head over heels for someone who might be charming but who you aren't truly compatible with. "Having a conversation about values, such as family, spirituality, personal growth, and health is crucial to make sure you and your significant other are on the same page for the long-term," Kara Lissy, LCSW and psychotherapist told Cosmopolitan.
While this doesn't mean you have to agree on everything, it's important to make sure that you see eye-to-eye on the big things.
If he's all talk, he's not husband material
In a piece for YourTango, relationship expert Yasmin Abouelhassan pointed out some big warning signs to watch out for that indicate your boyfriend might not be husband material. If a guy seems hesitant about popping the question, or only talks about marriage in the abstract but doesn't have a clear vision of what it would be like to be married to you, he's probably not husband material and you might consider breaking up.
You should also be wary of guys who just want to have fun and worry about commitment later. Also suspicious is a guy who constantly uses work or other commitments as an excuse to not take the relationship to the next step.
The key, says Abouelhassan, is to look at your boyfriend's actions, not his words. Plenty of men talk a big game because they know what women want to hear. Basically, smooth talkers aren't marriage material. While you might eventually get him to the altar, men who are all talk and no action aren't truly husband material.
A guy who is husband material will fight respectfully
A surprising way to tell if your boyfriend is husband material is to observe how he fights with you. According to marriage expert Dr. John Gottman (via Verily), respectfully fighting with your partner is healthy. If your boyfriend shows contempt while fighting, gets defensive, criticizes you, or avoids confrontation altogether and just blocks you out, the chances of a marriage working out are slim.
This is a problem that can be worked on, but if he isn't willing to change, then it's probably time to change boyfriends — and find one who is husband material instead.