How to break up with someone you love

Breaking up is hard to do. It's even harder, though, when you're saying goodbye to someone you truly love.

While love can conquer a lot, sometimes you have no choice but to call it quits with someone that you love. Maybe you've realized that your long-distance relationship isn't right for you. Maybe, as much as you care about your partner, you've realized that you're in a one-sided relationship that has become toxic.

Whatever the reason, you don't want to just ghost the person you love and have good memories with. But what's the right way to break up with someone you love?

When breaking up with someone you love, be firm

By the time you've decided to break up with someone you love, you've probably worked on your relationship and tried to fix things. If you haven't, you might want to consider couples therapy if you think there's still hope. Once you know things are truly over, though, stick to your convictions. You made the decision to break up for a reason, and you need to be firm.

"If you're ready to make the decision [to break up], then it's important to be firm about it, and not do this push/pull with your partner and make them think that there's hope when there's not," relationship coach Niloo Dardashti told The Cut. "The most important part is the conviction of knowing that the issue is more important than your momentary feelings of affection and adoration."

You should break up with someone you love in person

Also, make sure to do it in person. It won't be easy, but they deserve a face-to-face conversation. That is, of course, unless you're in an abusive relationship, in which case you should do whatever you need to do to safely get out.

"Do not do it over text or email," said Dardashti. "If you have a relationship with them that has a history, you're going to want to do it in person. It's about giving them that respect that has been built between you — the respect that they deserve."

You should also be prepared for a heart-wrenching conversation, and to answer any of your ex-partner's questions. "If someone's breaking up with you and they're not giving you adequate feedback about why, that's going to leave you feeling confused and hurt and possibly angry," said Dardashti.