What You Should Know If You're An Optimist Dating A Pessimist
If you're a glass-half-full kind of gal, it can be difficult if your partner looks at things more negatively. For instance you may enjoy going out and being social, while your significant other may criticize how loud the music is or expensive drinks are. Or perhaps you encourage them to pursue a new job or hobby that will help elevate their mood and they then tell you all the reasons that wouldn't work. After a while, it can be hard to constantly feel like you're being their cheerleader and it's not being reciprocated. You might also start to feel resentful and just stop trying to suggest things because their answer is always pessimistic.
Colleen Mullen, a marriage and family therapist, told Success magazine that opposites might attract, but that doesn't necessarily make the relationship easy. She explains if this dynamic is left unchallenged, "there is a very high likelihood the relationship will not last." However, with time and effort your relationship could work.
Understanding your partner's perspective
Randi Gunther, a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor, wrote in Psychology Today that your partner's glass half-empty outlook could be passed down through generations. In addition, she explains that a genetic predisposition to depression can also lead to bleak thoughts. "Unlike grief, which has a specific loss to endure and permits hope, clinical depression feels more like an open-ended prison sentence without chance of parole," Gunther says. So if a loved one is struggling with depressive thoughts, she says support is always helpful, but ultimately they have to be willing to receive the help.
In order to move in a positive direction, Domonique Bertolucci, life coach and author, told Success Magazine it's also important to look at ways you complement each other. "Most couples have one person who is a spender and one who is the saver," she says. "Or one is a homebody and the other a party animal. The same thing goes with overall attitude.... There is usually one who sees the world more darkly than the other." While your partner's skepticism may frustrate you at times, you can probably think of ways it's also been beneficial. Maybe they advised you to not work with an untrustworthy company or helped you deal with a devastating event that they were better equipped to handle. "Instead of trying to change your partner's perspective, put your positive energy toward realizing how his attitude helps you and what you can learn from it," Bertolucci says.
How to move forward in your relationship
According Success Magazine if you're an optimist, it's important to not lose your positivity. It recommends not letting your sunny worldview be impacted by your partner's pessimistic view. In addition, it can also be helpful to find support with friends that help you keep your upbeat outlook or find a group that helps bring you joy on a daily basis. Dr. Michael Gurian, marriage counselor and New York Times bestselling author, told Success Magazine that ultimately differences don't lead to the end of relationships. He explains, "What's going to break a marriage is the expectation that the other will be just like me."