Quote Of The Day By Abigail Van Buren: 'The Best Index To A Person...'

You probably know Pauline Friedman better by her pen name, Abigail Van Buren. Others may know her for "Dear Abby," the iconic advice column she shared with her twin sister, whom fans know as Ann Landers. Van Buren and her sister were born in Sioux City, Iowa, in 1910. In 1955, she got in touch with an editor at the San Francisco Chronicle to tell them she wasn't keen on their advice column and offered to write a better one. She took on the name Abigail Van Buren, and the famous "Dear Abby" column was born.

The column quickly grew in popularity. In 1990 alone, she received more than 55,000 letters asking for advice. Through it all, Van Buren didn't shy away from expressing her truth. One big component of that was speaking out against hatred in favor of progressive takes on human rights. In fact, over the years, Van Buren wrote some columns newspapers were afraid to print due to her stance for women's rights and against racism and antisemitism. 

Through it all, Van Buren gave more than four decades worth of advice to readers. And she always did so from her unique, confident, loving perspective. That's why one of Van Buren's famous bits of advice is today's quote of the day.

"The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back." 

Abigail Van Buren wrote this memorable quote in her "Dear Abby" column in 1974. While particularly poignant, this quote wasn't out of the ordinary for Van Buren's column. She often advocated for morality when she gave advice and fought against bigotry, racism, and misogyny. While the quote is simple, it's a perfect summary of how to treat others with respect regardless of the circumstances.

It's a good thing to treat others with kindness. Yet, motivation matters. Don't be kind to others simply to get something in return. And don't be kind to others simply because you'll face retaliation otherwise, either. Kindness needs to come from the right place, and that means you must give it to everyone equally. You shouldn't overlook someone simply because you believe they have nothing to offer you, and you shouldn't disrespect someone just because you believe you can get away with it.

While "Dear Abby" readers wrote to Abigail Van Buren for advice on all different matters, she made it clear how important she believed ethics to be. She often included encouragement to be a good person throughout her advice. Taking this quote as advice, we should all remember to treat everyone with kindness, never doing it simply for the reaction we will or will not get. By the same token, looking for this in others is an easy way to tell if people are truly sincere.

• "JUST FOR TODAY, I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once."
• "If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters."
• "There are two kinds of people in the world — those who walk into a room and say 'There you are' and those who say, 'Here I am!'"
• "Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does — except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place."
• "The less you talk, the more you're listened to."