Quote Of The Day By Joan Didion: 'The Charms That Work On Others Count For Nothing In...'

Journalist and author Joan Didion will always be remembered for her piercing prose. She had the ability to put feelings into words in a way that made readers pause to reflect on how her works were relevant to their own lives. Didion had a gift for encouraging some serious introspection — usually the uncomfortable kind.

Didion was born in Sacramento, California, on December 5, 1934. She died on December 23, 2021, but her body of work lives on, and continues to inspire modern readers. Didion's life was riddled with tragedy. Her husband, John Gregory Dunne, died of a heart attack in 2003. Five days before his death, the couple's daughter, Quintana Roo Dunne Michael, had to be rushed to hospital because of pneumonia paired with septic shock, which left her in a coma. The death of her husband devastated Didion, who chronicled the experience of her grief in her tome "The Year of Magical Thinking." In 2005, Didion's daughter died after years of health issues. She had pancreatitis and was only 39. Didion's subsequent book, "Blue Nights," was about her daughter's life, and her early death.

It is perhaps because she was so familiar with tragedy that Didion's writing resonated with so many. She was a very self-aware writer, and her essay "On Self-Respect" is one of her works that truly encourage honest introspection. It's also the essay from which we pulled today's quote of the day.

In her popular essay "On Self-Respect," Joan Didion wrote, "The charms that work on others count for nothing in that devastatingly well-lit back alley where one keeps assignations with oneself."

This popular essay was published by Vogue in 1961. Its original title was "Self-respect: Its Source, Its Power." Its publication was a happy accident. Didion was asked to pen the essay for the magazine after another writer failed to deliver their assigned piece. Didion had limited space to fill, and she managed to craft her piece with the precise character count limit.

This quote in particular hints that, while we might be able to deceive those around us, we cannot truly deceive ourselves when we come face to face with the person we really are.

Joan Didion seemed to understand something many of us don't want to admit — we can easily put on a facade for the outside world, but that same mask we wear when we interact with others does not work when we have to look ourselves in the eye. We might be able to outwardly appear put-together, charming, in control, and even near-perfect, but what's really on the inside will come forth when we are left alone with the silence and nothing but our own thoughts for company. It's no wonder modern-world humans are so addicted to their phones and the constant noise of social media, music, and podcasts — these are mechanisms by which we try to forestall this inner reckoning. But it is something that needs to be done. It's crucial to know our true selves in order to know what we really want and need in life.

Didion wasn't afraid of this reckoning. Exploring her grief in tomes like "The Year of Magical Thinking" and "Blue Nights" was a testament to her ability to sit with uncomfortable feelings and look them straight in the eye, knowing it was the only way to overcome them and move forward.

Today's quote reminds us that we might be able to fool others, but we can only fool ourselves for so long. That "devastatingly well-lit back alley" is waiting for all of us at the end of every day, and we need to be able to meet it without fear.

• "Nonetheless, character — the willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life — is the source from which self-respect springs."

• "I am still committed to the idea that the ability to think for one's self depends upon one's mastery of the language."

• "I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind's door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends."

• "We tell ourselves stories in order to live."

• " ... to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves — there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect."