The Real Reason You Should Know About Interdependence
We can all agree that 2020 was one of the most challenging years in recent history and, if you happened to be married or quarantined with your partner, the lockdown made it that much harder to have a harmonious relationship.
Now that 2021 is upon us, however, Pure Wow asked a couple's therapist to help see readers through the New Year so they do not end up single and alone. Licensed therapist Jordan Green told the outlet that it is important to acknowledge that 2020 brought many hardships, including working from home, financial and emotional stress, and figuring out what defines "essential" work. Almost every couple has struggled with one or more of these issues at some point since the pandemic began. Many, in fact, are struggling to find their own autonomy. Let's face it — this pandemic continues to behave like a bad houseguest. It wore out its welcome after just one week.
According to the outlet, Dr. Green has one word that will help turn stagnant relationships into ones that will flourish. That word? Interdependence. While spending 24/7 with your best buddy may have been a perk at the beginning, now it is looking more and more like a chore.
What is interdependence?
If you are left to wonder what exactly interdependence is, it has to do with the "relationship between YOU, ME, and US," licensed couple's therapist Jordan Green told Pure Wow. For a healthy, thriving connection, there must always be a balance. Maintaining a healthy balance is what interdependence thrives on, in fact.
Tiny Buddha revealed the secret is to be able to give in a relationship without giving up who are at your core. By giving honestly, you are able to receive love without it being a part of your self-worth.
The doctor also explained that there is a need to find a strict balance between the words "I" and "We." Just like everything else in the world, too much or too little of something can be bad. Dr. Green told readers, "Too much dependence in a relationship looks like your entire identity is defined by the relationship. If you're too dependent, there is little to no individuality, and you form almost a host-parasite-like relationship." Ew, no one wants to be a parasite, right?
Am you doing it right?
From Jordan Green's advice, couples will recognize that it is good to have a few hobbies outside their relationship where they can escape and be themselves. But how do you know if you are practicing this whole interdependence thing right? Well, corresponding to Pure Wow's advice, it very much looks like having a healthy solo and couple identity.
No matter the relationship, there is always some give and take, but success ultimately comes down to cooperation, communication, and holding each other accountable with wholesome boundaries. Translation? You do not have to feign a secret love of Warhammer World because your husband enjoys painting miniatures and, in turn, he does not have to sit down and recap every episode of The Real Housewives of whatever city is currently airing. The good doctor wanted to make sure that readers understood that, while it is good to do activities apart, it is always a great idea to come home and ask each other how the other's day was over a nice glass of wine or a home-cooked meal.