The Truth About Unconditional Love, According To A Dating Expert

Unconditional love sounds romantic in theory, but it's a lot more complicated in practice. Verywell Mind argues that lack of accountability or expectations is one of the biggest problems with the idea of unconditional love. It's entirely normal for you to want to be there for your partner through difficult issues and offer them love, security, and comfort. But it's a separate issue to completely ignore possible red flags and toxic behavior for the sake of staying in your relationship.

Lifehack opines that having set perimeters in a relationship is healthy and realistic. The outlet rejects the idea that love shouldn't have any conditions, and stresses that these expectations are what can strengthen your relationship. If you're in a relationship with someone who treats you poorly and takes more than they give, you may feel pressured to accept less than what you deserve in the name of love.

Dating expert and coach Matthew Hussey cuts through the controversies of unconditional love and explains why it doesn't work in romantic relationships.

Relationships should never feel one-sided

In one TikTok video, dating coach Matthew Hussey breaks down why unconditional love in a romantic relationship isn't realistic, and how it causes an imbalance between partners. "Romantic relationships are conditional," he explains, "because who would want to be in a relationship long-term with someone who never gave back?" He hammers down the idea that by "enter[ing] into an agreement with someone about us being together, us spending time together, us having an effect on each other's energy," you are committing to respecting your partner and the boundaries that you set as a team.

Hussey also digs deeper into the importance of being upfront with each other about your relationship's future, even if it means getting answers that are hard to hear. To get to the root of the problem and figure out where your relationship is going, the dating expert suggests asking these questions: "Is this person acting like a teammate, or is this person just taking? Is this person just using me because they want some validation at this point in their life? ... Am I just a brief chapter for them, but I'm actually investing in this as if its going somewhere" (via TikTok)?

If the answers to these questions leave you feeling more lost and unsure, it may be time to reevaluate if your relationship serves you.