What Does It Really Mean When A Love Interest Says They're Not Ready To Commit?

All relationships move at their own pace. As you grow closer to your love interest and begin navigating your feelings, you may decide that you want to take the next step. Depending on which stage your relationship is in, this can mean being physically exclusive, defining your relationship, or moving in together. As you become more serious, you might feel ready to take things further and deepen your connection.

But the minute you bring up next steps to your love interest, they either immediately shut down or change the subject. If this sounds like what you're going through, that is a major red flag you shouldn't ignore. Communication is at the root of everything. It's important to have realistic expectations in any relationship, and opening up about what you want helps both parties avoid any confusion, per Insider. It's impossible for any relationship to feel stable and secure if you're not on the same page about where things are going and what you're looking for. It's even more difficult if you're seeing someone who is afraid of commitment and is not ready to settle down — and honestly may never be ready.

Realistically, is this something that you can get over? A dating expert and coach answered this question honestly, and it isn't promising.

If someone says they're emotionally unavailable, believe them

Viral dating coach and expert Matthew Hussey unpacks the best way to approach dating someone who isn't ready to commit in a series of TikTok videos. In his first video, Hussey is matter-of-fact about why waiting for a commitment-phobe to change their mind will only hurt you in the end. "People for whom it's the wrong time," he starts, "aren't usually emotionally open enough to see the person in front of them for all that they are." 

Hussey adds that your love interest's lack of emotional readiness closes them off to a genuine connection. He opines that if your partner isn't serious or looking to build something amazing with you, then it doesn't really matter if you have chemistry. They aren't invested or open to getting to know you or your journey.

The dating coach further explores this in a follow-up TikTok video. "If they're saying, 'I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship,' that is a giant red flag," Hussey says. "They are telling you today I am going to hurt you ... They're telling you to your face that you are going to get your heart broken here."

Timing is everything in a relationship. If you're dating someone who's emotionally unavailable and is upfront about it, trying to justifying why they aren't as invested is a disservice to you both. Deep down, you know that the denial only delays the inevitable.