What Not To Say To Someone Who Is Dying

When someone you love receives news that they don't have much longer to live, it's not going to be easy going forward. That is the truth. No one wants to hear the words, "I'm sorry" from a physician, but the sad reality is that life doesn't last forever. As much as we wish it wasn't so, all of our loved ones won't be around for eternity. The signs of death can be subtle, like a drop in body temperature or weakening muscles (via Healthline). But when the time draws near, it will be an incredibly difficult time for the person who is dying and for the people close to them.

If someone you know is dying, you are not going to be at your best. You may find yourself panicking or sinking into depression. Most of us take the time we have alive for granted because no one knows for sure when their last day on this planet will be. There may be regrets, sadness, and a loss for words. And that's okay. It's a hard experience, perhaps the hardest you'll face. Your thoughts are most likely in every place at once.

It's important to know what you should and should not say to someone who is facing death. You want to put their mind at ease and comfort them in their last moments. But what do you say? And what is better off not being said?

Forget the finances

One thing you should avoid talking about during the end of a person's life is your own view on what they should do about funeral plans and financial arrangements. While asking them how they'd like for their funeral to be is okay, trying to push your opinions on the matter shouldn't be your main focus. Talking about business when someone is dying could make you seem cold and unfeeling about this fact. The time to handle business affairs is much earlier than this time or once your loved one has passed away (via CNN Business).

Think about it like this, if you were in their position — would you want to spend your last moments talking about business, planning an obituary, or who gets your house? You'd probably even think the person who brought up those topics is more concerned about costs and money rather than you.

This is not the time to discuss finances and their funeral — at least not solely. Instead, use this precious time to discuss whatever they have on their mind, be it the weather or an old acquaintance.

This is about them, not you

Even though you are hurting in this moment and trying to cope with your loved one's impending death, you must try your best to let the person dying know that you are there for them and won't give up after they've passed. Many people who are dying find that they are most concerned about the people they are leaving behind after death, not what comes after death. This is especially true for matriarchs and patriarchs of the family. Do your best to assure them that you love them and that you will live on for them.

As much as you may feel like breaking down at the moment, try your best to stay strong. This is hard for the person passing, too, and you don't want to end up making them feel guilty or make the situation about you and how their death is impacting you. But it's more than okay to cry. In fact, it's only natural that you do so.

The best thing you can do for a person who is dying might be to listen to them. After you've listened, tell them how much you love them and how much you'll miss them. Did they positively impact your life? Let them know how. Simply being there and showing your appreciation can be the best way to be supportive.