Alexis Mitchell On Getting Married At First Sight - Exclusive Interview
Getting married is a huge decision for anyone, but it's a much bigger leap of faith when you don't know the person you're meeting at the end of the aisle. That's exactly what the couples on Lifetime's "Married At Frist Sight" signed on for. A team of experts selects cast members and their future partners, and the couples don't meet or even see each other until the moment of their wedding.
Alexis Mitchell is one of the participants in this season of "Married At First Sight." Like many others, she was tired of the traditional dating world and wanted to find her partner, so she decided to give the TV series a try. Although marriage wasn't always what she expected, during an exclusive interview with The List, Mitchell said she's grown and learned a lot throughout the journey. She also opened up about how her ideas about the type of partner she needs have changed and some of the behind-the-scenes about her dynamic with other cast members.
Why Alexis signed up for Married At First Sight
What first made you want to sign up for "Married at First Sight?"
I initially wanted to sign up for "Married at First Sight" because I was just like most Millennials my age, 20-somethings: I'm tired of the monotonous dating world. It was a vicious cycle of starting over. You date, you like somebody for a little bit of time, and then back to the drawing boards. It was draining. Dating fatigue is what I would capture it as.
Were you doing dating apps and that kind of thing, or just meeting people in person?
I'm more personable, so I typically go for the in-person meeting, but at this point, I had gone to the dating app world, and it wasn't really my style. I'm more of an old school lover. It was odd. I knew I wanted to be married. I knew I wanted to start that second chapter of my life, and it was hard to bring that down into terms of swipe left, swipe right, finding my future.
And what was the casting process of actually going through it and getting on the show like?
It was exciting because there are thousands of applicants and you want to be the one to have somebody pick your perfect match. That's what most people signed up for. There were a lot of psychologicals, background checks, things of that manner, which was actually comforting to me because I'm like, "If I'm going through this, I know my husband or future husband will be going through the same thing." It was comforting to know that even though I don't know who this person is, we're in it together, even though we're not really in it together because we're strangers, but you know what I'm saying.
And did you feel like you had a pretty clear idea of the kind of partner you wanted at the start of it?
For that time period, I did have a clear understanding ... you know what you think you like, and I learned throughout the process that sometimes, your type is the reason that you're single. You always have that perspective of, "Yeah, I want this cookie cutter, and I got a list," and most of the time, you have to throw away the list because that's not realistic to what you need. Back then, yes, that is what I thought — that I had a clear, concise [idea] of what I needed.
The biggest challenges and highlights of MAFS
What was it you were looking for, and how did that change along the way?
I was focused a lot on height and physicality. I more so wanted someone kind, and I wasn't as specific as I should have been. I know a lot of girls have 50 things... they have so many details of what they want their partner to be like. I was more fluid. I wanted a kind, loving person, but I really should have been more specific in the manner of Dr. Pepper (Schwartz), and Pastor (Calvin Roberson) don't really know me besides on paper. I really [needed] to clarify that "Okay, this is what I mean by kind, this is what I mean by this." It was more on my end to where I was more generalized at the beginning instead of specific.
What was the biggest challenge for you throughout this whole experience?
The biggest challenge was dealing with different personal skills, interpersonal skills, communication styles, frustration styles — this is a stranger. It was like, "How does he communicate?" Then, you remind yourself, "This is a stranger." You think it's your husband? You're like, "I know how he communicates." You don't. "I know what he's like when he's frustrated." You don't. That was the hardest part for me, learning one another and reminding and grounding ourselves that we're in this together. We still have to go through those difficulties of learning that this person's a stranger.
What were the highlights of the experience?
The highlights of the experience were the opportunities. We got to travel together. We went through a fast pace advanced [romance]. It was like when you're in AP classes when you're in high school; I felt like I was in the AP course for marriage. We had the therapeutics. We had a lot of the experiences that a lot of people would want in their first year of marriage.
We got to have our honeymoon and travel with one another. We got to have the support of therapists behind us, doctors behind us, a team of individuals who are experiencing the same thing we're going to. It's a support group as well. Overall, those were the highlights of the support. We had a lot of support.
How Alexis grew through MAFS
Do you feel like having the other couples who are going through this same thing was helpful for you?
In some instances, because a lot of the time, I found myself too engaged in other's relationships when I should have been focusing more on my own and vice versa. I know that when you're arguing and you're having a personal husband and wife conversation, or you're having a dispute or even good times, you don't always want to share that with everybody all the time.
To have to come back and have that same support group and not really get to choose the timelines to where you say, "I want to share this, but I don't want to share this," [those are] some of the struggles that I saw personally, but overall, it was good to have someone in your corner going through the same or similar things.
Is marriage was what you expected going into it, or were there some curve balls for you?
Marriage is definitely fun. I'll tell you that much. I like the partnership. I like the camaraderie, but it is significantly harder, far beyond what I thought it would be. For me to come home every day, and it's like, "You're still here," getting used to that, to always having to be considerate of everything that your spouse is going through, it wasn't just about me. It isn't just about me anymore through the experience. [It's] definitely harder than I thought.
Do you feel like you grew throughout this process in any way?
For sure. I grew in pretty much all areas possible — socially, emotionally. I got to learn a lot about myself that I didn't know prior. I had an inkling that I needed to work on my patience. I had an inkling that I needed to work on my tact, but this was more confirmation like, "Okay, girl. We still got some things we need to handle within ourselves," but it also taught me the same thing that I can be patient. I can tap into soft areas that I've never tapped in before. I can be vulnerable. I can be supportive, and I'm not as judgmental as I would think. I learned a lot of good things about myself.
Her perspective watching the episodes
What's it been like for you now that the episodes are coming out, watching it back?
I try my best not to engage. I try to hang onto the experience in and of itself and not the trolls, because the trolls are going to troll. [I don't look at] anybody's perception of it besides what actually happened [matters]. I'm hanging onto the good things, and it can be tough at times because you are walking down the street, and people are like, "Oh my gosh, are you still together?" They're asking you all these questions, they're yelling in your face, and it's like, "Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Alexis. I am not a character in a rom-com. Nice to meet you." It's a rollercoaster of emotions, but I've been enjoying it nonetheless.
It sounds like a good perspective from your end, at least.
Yeah ... as far as the episode last [week, September 14], as far as the Morgan/Binh situation, I wanted to comment on that if you're okay with that, [about] the overall arching theme of Alexis and her inputs into this relationship. I wanted to say there's a lot more that will be coming out about this, but ultimately, Morgan was presenting the whole thing differently to me than she was on the show.
It's really a complex situation, because a viewer isn't going to see all of our conversations on and off camera. It's not all accurate, but stay tuned because there's more on this coming up. I want to speak my little truth in there and say, "Keep watching, keep fighting for your girl."
New episodes of "Married At First Sight" air Wednesdays at 8:00 p.m. ET/7:00 p.m. CT on Lifetime and are available to stream the next day.
This interview has been edited for clarity.