The Truth About Demi Lovato And Wilmer Valderrama's Relationship

There are plenty of couples from the early 2000s you probably forgot even dated, but Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama most likely aren't one of them. The former teen stars enjoyed similar trajectories in Hollywood, with Valderrama finding fame on "That '70s Show" while Lovato was a Disney darling


Although the "Camp Rock" star has had a number of high-profile relationships throughout her lengthy stint in the public eye, Lovato's relationship with Valderrama was particularly impactful. 

According to People, in her documentary "Simply Complicated," the singer reflected on what she'd learned from dating while famous. 

"The last decade has taught me a lifetime of lessons," Lovato asserted. "I've learned that secrets make you sick, I'm learning how to be a voice and not a victim, I've learned sex is natural, I've learned that love is necessary, heartbreak is unavoidable and loneliness is brutal. I've learned that the key to being happy is to tell your truth, and be okay without all the answers."


Showbiz CheatSheet reports that Lovato met Valderrama when she was just 17, and their six-year relationship dominated much of her 20s. Unsurprisingly, then, the "29" hitmaker is still feeling the effects to this day.

Demi Lovato was a teenager with a crush when they met

In "Simply Complicated," Demi Lovato recalled how she initially crossed paths with Wilmer Valderrama all the way back in 2010. Per Mamas Latinas, the singer divulged, "When I first met Wilmer he was 29. I met him on January 11 of 2010. It was at a PSA shoot at his house for the 2010 census forms." 


The outlet confirms that it was a Voto Latino PSA. Lovato admitted, "To be honest, I only did it because I heard it was at his house and I thought he was really cute. I didn't really care about the census forms."

Then, when the 17-year-old actually met Valderrama in person, she realized, "I love this man and I have to have him." Lovato elaborated during a chat with And Pop (via Bustle), revealing that the "NCIS" star complimented Lovato on using her Disney platform for a good cause. 

Unfortunately, because of their 12-year age difference, Valderrama wasn't interested in being anything more than friends. But, Lovato noted in "Simply Complicated" (via Hello! magazine), "When I turned 18 we started dating."


The Disney alum added, "I think it was love at first sight, we connected on a level that I've never connected with anybody before, he was just my rock, my everything." Mamas Latinas confirmed that they were first spotted kissing publicly outside his house in 2011 but didn't attend an event together until two years later.

The celebrity couple dated on and off for six years

Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama's relationship lasted a total of six years, but they weren't together the entire time. As People points out, the celebrity couple briefly split in 2010, when Lovato was first hospitalized for physical and emotional issues, but, by November 2011, they were back on again. 


However, neither party opened up much about their private life — at least, not at first. In March 2015, Lovato made it clear they were very much together, though.

Alongside a swoon-worthy monochrome shot of them snuggling, the former Disney star gushed, "I wish I could put into words how grateful I am for this man right here. But my love has grown to a level that words could never possibly express how much this man completes me. He's loved me the way I never thought I deserved to be loved and ... I want the world to know how incredible his soul is." 

Lovato even admitted, "I really wouldn't be alive today without him."

During a benefit concert a short while later, Valderrama returned the favor when he surprised his girlfriend onstage and took a moment to effuse about how much of a role model she is.


Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama's split was mutual

In 2016, Page Six confirmed that Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama had split after six years together, with the songstress posting a since-deleted statement on Instagram. "After almost six loving and wonderful years together, we have decided to end our relationship," it read in part. "This was an incredibly difficult decision for both of us, but we have realized more that anything that we are better as best friends. We will always be supportive for one another."


Notably, Valderrama told Entertainment Tonight just a few months prior, "We've been best friends for about six years. We haven't necessarily been dating for six years, but we have six years of friendship, and it's been ... it's been beautiful." 

He also shared that they connected because of mutual love, respect, and honesty. Echoing his thoughts, Lovato explained in "Simply Complicated" that the couple definitely hadn't fallen out of love with each other. Rather, "We decided together that we're just probably better as friends." 

She did acknowledge, however, feeling worried that they wouldn't remain as close after breaking up. Crucially, Valderrama stuck by Lovato in her toughest moments, including following her first rehab stint. "People told him, 'You should probably leave. She's on a spiral, and you're going to be sucked down with it,'" she confessed to Cosmopolitan. "But he was like, 'I'm not leaving. This is somebody I really care about.'"


The actor continued to support the pop star

Demi Lovato needn't have worried since Wilmer Valderrama stayed in her corner throughout the pop star's highly publicized substance abuse issues. Us Weekly reported in 2018, after her suspected drug overdose, the "That '70s Show" star rushed to be by Lovato's side. "Wilmer is completely devastated. ... He was not aware that her issues were this severe and intense at this time," a source revealed. 


Us Weekly snapped Valderrama looking shell-shocked while visiting his former girlfriend in hospital a short while later. "He stayed for around three hours," an insider confirmed. As another source elaborated to People, "He saw her through so many ups and downs and was her rock through some of her darkest moments. To see her back in such a sad and vulnerable place is heartbreaking for him." 

The two continued to be good friends after their romantic relationship. There were suggestions that both parties were holding out hope they'd reconcile, though. Those hopes were firmly shot down when Valderrama got engaged in 2020. Lovato told Harper's Bazaar that she wished him the best but that they'd lost touch over the years.


"We're not in each other's lives, haven't spoken in a long time," the singer said. "But I think I needed that because I needed to learn to be okay on my own. When you get into a relationship with somebody at that young of an age and then you spend six years with somebody, you don't really get to learn about yourself."

Did Demi Lovato write a cutting song about the relationship?

The singer's words to Harper's Bazaar took on a deeper meaning when "29" started doing the rounds on TikTok, leading many to speculate about the subject of the song. Demi Lovato has had a complex dating history, but the lyrics clearly refer to a relationship she was in with someone considerably older than her. 


Per NME, Lovato sings on the track: "Numbers told you not to / But that didn't stop you." Later, she belts, "Finally 29 / Funny, just like you were at the time / Thought it was a teenage dream, just a fantasy / But was it yours or was it mine? / 17 / 29." 

She didn't name her ex, but the singer conceded in an interview with Zane Lowe being especially nervous to release "29." Nylon also notes that Lovato added, "I'm very careful with the way that I answer these questions, because I feel like the song says it all."

Tellingly, Lovato disclosed during an appearance on Jameela Jamil's "I Weigh" podcast that she finally understands that being friends with her exes isn't always possible or healthy. "I was afraid of fully letting go of people," the singer acknowledged, per Us Weekly. "And now that I've been able to fully let go out of people, that was another thing that I've had to learn when it comes to coming toxic people out of your life. If they're an ex, it's for a reason."