Relationship Expert Names The No. 1 Reason Women Ignore Red Flags
It's time for some tough love. We hate to break it to you, but you may have a tendency of ignoring red flags — or perhaps you have in the past. Everybody has at one time or another, and it certainly doesn't warrant judgement or shame. In fact, those who tend to tune out red flags only do so with good intentions at heart in an attempt to maintain a positive outlook on their dating partner (via Psychology Today). But why do you do it?
There's a lot to unpack with that simple question. Luckily, The List talked to world-renowned psychotherapist Hilary Silver to get the lowdown on this hot topic. Not only is Silver a prominent mentor and influencer in the relationship and dating space, but she's helped literally thousands of women cultivate self-love, create and sustain healthy, rewarding relationships, enjoy a rich sex life, and break free from destructive dating patterns through her trademarked program Ready For Love. Needless to say, you're in good hands with Silver, who's got the no. 1 reason women ignore red flags.
If you ignore red flags, you may have an issue trusting your own intuition
According to Hilary Silver, intuition can be defined as feeling a sense of truth in a situation. "It's our reading between the lines," she explains. "Your emotions are your greatest source of wisdom about who you are. Your emotional world tells you everything you need to know." We are taught and trained to have a negative relationship with our feelings, per Silver, often hearing destructive phrases. Thus, you may tend to be afraid of your feelings and emotions and begin to shut them out. What happens when you do that?
Your intuition takes a hit. "Intuition is your emotional reaction to something you are experiencing. It is your truth," Silver told The List. "If you are ignoring your truth, you will have anxiety every time." Therefore, you may begin to feel like you can't trust yourself or your own decisions — you begin to dismiss your gut feelings about a potential partner. Even though you may be able to sense that your partner is cheating or being unfaithful, you start to override your emotions and develop excuses.
According to Silver, your mind wants what it wants — the relationship. You don't want to be rejected or alone. "If you do not want to listen, then you are in denial," she said. "And you do not want to listen because that truth means you will have to move on. You have a difficult decision to make."