Is Text Compatibility An Important Factor In A Relationship?
If you're not much of a texter, you might be missing out on some great conversations. According to Statistic Brain, each month sees nearly 600 billion texts sent. In the age of sliding into someone's DMs, you're bound to communicate over text at least a little bit — especially if you're looking to date.
Whether you've matched with someone on a dating app or you copped a cutie's number at the bar, the next step in your relationship is finding out if you two have text compatibility. Psychologist Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD defined being textually compatible to VeryWellMind as "having the same expectations around texting and ascribing the same meaning to text messages as the other person." Texting compatibility has become an increasingly important factor in today's dating market: Who texts first? How long before they respond? Are you excited when you get a notification and see their name pop up on your screen? If you don't vibe over text, it could be a sign that you definitely won't work well in real life.
If your partner is a bad texter, don't delete their number just yet
How you text is an essential part of dating: waking up to a "good morning" message and feeling special after receiving a silly meme simply because it reminded them of you means more than you might think. Often, you use texting for many of the get-to-know-you questions. From sharing plans to a mid-day check-in, relationships can fizzle out before they even begin if you don't share similar texting styles (via VeryWellMind).
Contrary to popular belief, there isn't really a universal right way and a wrong way to text your crush. Per Cosmopolitan, text compatibility isn't so much about how well a person texts, but rather about whether or not you two communicate in a similar style. You may find it off-putting when someone ends each of their texts with a period, even if it is grammatically correct. Maybe you use copious amounts of emojis, only to discover that your partner doesn't even add a colon and end parentheses after a flirty quip.
If you both dislike texting and only use it when you've forgotten something at the store or they need the address to your dinner reservation, you may be a perfect match. But according to Bustle, if one of you despises texting while the other sends 20 messages in a row every time they have a new experience, you two might not be the most compatible in real life, because your communication styles are fundamentally different.
Too much text-ual chemistry could be a red flag
So, you and your new boo match on a dating app. You're texting every day, and you just click. They respond in a timely manner, they use full sentences, and maybe they even throw in an emoji or two. But experts warn that too much texting before a first meeting could indicate that the in-person phase of dating might never happen.
Dating coach Sami Wunder calls this the "texting trap." Wunder told Insider that, more often than not, men often want the benefits of talking to a woman on a dating app without putting in the effort to actually date her. "The more available you become in their heads, the less likely they are to ask you out for an actual meeting. Because honestly, there are men out there who just want a beautiful pen pal." Psychology Today warns that a text connection isn't always genuine: texts can be drafted over time instead of being witty and charming in the moment. Body language and non-verbal cues are another important part of an in-person connection that doesn't happen over the phone.
Whether you're messaging on Tinder or emailing each other flirty gifs back and forth, know when you've hit your text limit. When you're waiting on the next move, try shooting your shot. Recommend that you meet up for coffee or attend a happy hour later this week. If they give you excuses, even charming, emoji-filled ones, it's probably time to move on.