So, You've Gotten 'The Ick.' Can You Get Past It?
Have you ever been on a date, and suddenly, they do something that makes you want to turn and run in the opposite direction? One moment you're enjoying your pasta and listening to them discuss their job in finance, and the next minute you feel your skin crawl? Sadly, you may have just gotten "the ick."
According to marriage and family therapist Dr. Christie Kederian, the ick happens when you have experienced disgust or discomfort while dating and are suddenly no longer interested in your romantic partner. Olivia Attwood, a contestant on the popular UK reality dating show "Love Island," brought the concept of "getting the ick" into the mainstream in 2017. According to Attwood, "When you've seen a boy, and got the ick, it doesn't go... It's caught you, and it's taken over your body. It's just ick. I can't shake it off." (Via Grazia).
The ick could come from anything — the way your date chews his food, how he speaks to the waiter, or even the type of car, he drove to pick you up. In this day and age, there is no shortage of weird things men do on dates. While this may seem harsh, many people chalk it up to their personal preference. After all, everyone has a type, and the ick might just be your subconscious way of weeding out those who aren't your prince charming. But once you've felt that dreaded ick, can you actually get past it?
Constantly feeling the ick might actually be a you problem
Thanks to dating apps, you sift through so many potential partners on a daily basis that it has become commonplace to make snap judgments and continue swiping. But these quick decisions may keep you from investing in a potentially meaningful relationship because of something superficial. While it is important to listen to your intuition, try not to let your emotional guard confuse a minor quirk with a red flag.
Dr. Christie Kederian told Style Caster that the ick isn't as easy to determine as the usual red flags you look out for when dating. "When you work through a red flag, there is more information from previous relationships or possible toxic dynamics. Getting The Ick is more of a felt experience, and it is more subjective, whereas red flags are more objective." Each person's ick-meter is different, and it isn't always an accurate way to determine how well your date is going.
When deciding if you can get past an ick, it really comes down to what specifically triggered your flight response. Did your date say something truly abhorrent and disrespectful, or did they sneeze, and all of a sudden, you were no longer interested? Sometimes, ditching a potential partner because you felt the ick after something harmless might actually be your tendency to self-sabotage a relationship before it happens in order to protect you from getting hurt.
People are sharing their oddly specific icks and we can't stop laughing
While getting the ick can be a relationship ender, it also makes for some great entertainment. Some turn-offs are so specific and ridiculous that you can't help but laugh. TikTok creator Brittany Broski shared her oddly specific icks, cringing at the thought of a man trying to take a selfie or missing a beat drop in a song. In the caption, she prompted her followers to share their icks, and the comments did not disappoint.
One commenter claimed their ick is "walking back after your turn in bowling." Another claimed that they get turned off if their date is "playing "crack the egg" on the trampoline, but he's the egg." Other honorable mentions in the comments were pushing a door that says pull, walking in flip flops, picking up change they dropped on the ground, and wearing a cape during a haircut. We are officially convinced that practically anything can be an ick, so our best advice is to live your life loud and proud. Maybe, one day the right one will come along and see your "icks" as "awws."
If you're feeling the ick and you've determined, "It's not me, it's them," check out this dating expert approved way to end a bad date.