How To Ask For A Second Date (And How Soon You Should Ask For One)
There's nothing quite like that feeling of bliss when you realize that a first date is going better than you could have imagined. Whether it was the conversation that flowed effortlessly or the alignment of long-term goals, feeling like you can be your authentic self around someone else is an amazing thing. As your date continues, there will likely be a growing desire to stay connected with this person.
Even though you likely just met, it's natural to dread the idea of saying goodbye to your date when things are going so well. Especially if they are exhibiting the one major green flag to look for on a date. While it's nice to have the clarity of knowing that you would love a second date, the stressful part revolves around communicating this desire to the other person. Of course, open and honest communication is a wonderful thing to bring to a new relationship. Unfortunately, it can also require a lot of vulnerability, which is hard and often quite scary in the beginning.
It can be easy to get in your head about how much to share or how soon you should lay your emotions on the table. The truth is, every relationship is different and may not align with traditional first-date etiquette. However, to avoid any awkward social dynamics, there are certain ways to go about asking for a second date.
Try to avoid making things complicated
If you're looking for the simplest way to get that all-important second date, look no further. Dating coach Amy Nobile explained to Bumble that "dating rules" often create more stress and confusion. Instead of overcomplicating things, she encourages people to trust their gut and do what feels right at the moment. If your date was amazing, don't be afraid to say that out loud. If anything, it will ease your date's nerves as well.
Psychologist Jordan Rullo also spoke with Bumble, expressing that healthy communication is essential when it comes to building a solid relationship, but there is no need to add pressure or make things more stressful than they need to be. Instead of nailing down the specifics of a second date, simply mentioning that you want to see them again reassures your date without putting them on the spot.
Another great way to casually bring up a second date idea is to think about what you discussed on the first date. If the two of you bonded over your love of animals, you might naturally think to mention going to the zoo together sometime. Integrating this idea into the flow of a conversation allows your date to see your intentions without getting too vulnerable.
Don't let a good thing go
While it's common to feel nervous about possibly mentioning a second date too soon, there are also real concerns about waiting too long. People want to know if feelings are mutual, and that is usually shown by communicating your desire to see them again.
According to Love to Know, there is a week-long window that is ideal for following up regarding future dates. Reaching out before the five-day mark will show that you are prioritizing your connection with them. If you wait longer than a week, there is a good chance that the initial excitement or spark could begin to fade.
At the same time, it's also advised to be your authentic self and avoid the typical waiting "game" when it comes to contacting a date. If you have a real connection with someone and want to see them again, don't hesitate to let them know, even if that means texting them that same night or the very next day. In order to avoid looking desperate people have frequently talked themselves out of being this transparent. However, knowing what you want and being confident about it is an extremely attractive quality. Plus, the right person likely won't hesitate to go on that second date with you, regardless of how soon you ask.