The Simplest Way To Get To That All-Important Second Date
If you're single, you most likely hear the phrase "How are you still single?" from your friends, family, and co-workers more often than you'd like to. While you know they love you and just want to see you happy, they don't quite get how hard it is out here for people taking a dip in the dating pool.
These days, getting a second date is a lot more challenging than landing your first one. According to a Time Out dating poll, 40% of first dates result in plans for a second one (via ELLE). Whether you've been trying your luck on all the dating apps or you've gone on every blind date possible, you might find yourself on a lot of first dates that never turn into a second. While a first date is fun and exciting, most of us are dating with the hopes of finding a partner. So, how do we boost our probability of securing that second date and become one of the lucky 40%?
We've found simple tips backed by psychologists and relationship experts that help you nail your first date and ensure the next one, and they're way easier than you think.
Enjoy your first date before thinking about date number two
Thanks to 80's rom-coms and Disney fairytales, many of us grew up on the idea of falling in love at first sight. However, this is the real world, and we need to get a second date before we can commit to someone forever. But, how exactly do we secure that second date? Experts recommend not to stress, as worrying about it might actually ruin your chances.
Relationship coach Steve Yang told Bustle that "one of the biggest mistakes people make on a first date is overthinking the entire time." If you are so concerned about getting a second date that you forget to enjoy your first one, the results might not be in your favor. Yang also advises treating your date as less of an interview and more of a discovery — enjoy getting to know the person free of expectations rather than treating it as an audition for the perfect partner.
Once you are relaxed and present, you can showcase your best self and more accurately decide if you even want a second date with this person. Sometimes we are so anxious on the first few dates that we don't recognize the red flags in a potential partner.
Try to leave a long-lasting impression
After a great first date, one of the simplest ways to see them again is to flash a flirty smile and say thank you. Brides report that the last few minutes of a first date are the most crucial in leaving a good impression, so express your feelings during your goodbyes. Remember that your date is probably also trying to gauge how the night went, and communicating your gratitude is a great way to indicate that you had fun. Thank them for spending time with you, or for showing you that new Thai place you've been dying to try. If they paid for your meal or picked up the tab, suggest that you'll pay for the next one — this is a simple way to imply you would like to see your date again.
Experts also recommend making new plans at the end of your first date. Psychologist Marty Menko writes in Psychology Today, "If you'd like to see the person again, make a date right then or at least specify when you'll be back in touch." This will allow your date to clearly indicate if they'd like to see you again. If their answers are vague, it might be a clue that it's time to move on (via Brides). If they make plans with you, congrats! The second date has been secured.