Can Your Date's Voice Really Be A Dating Dealbreaker?

Love is debated so much. There are so many shapes and forms that romantic love and its expressions can take, and in the end, it all depends on the person in love. Everyone has their own definition of love and what it should entail.

Whether you've decided casual dating is the right move for you or you're pulling a Charlotte York and seriously searching for the love of your life, dating can be complex. Meeting new people on a regular basis when you have an idea of what you want can be kind of scary. A lot of factors go into liking a person; their physical appearance is often the first reason. If you haven't met them before, a person's looks or something about their look will most likely be the first thing you notice and what attracts you to that person — or doesn't.

If you've overcome that first step and you're physically attracted to your date, you're obviously going to be talking to them. What happens if you hate the way their voice sounds? It sounds superficial, but it might actually be evolutionary-based.

The science behind liking a voice

Before you start to feel bad about liking someone less because of their voice, it's not just you being superficial. Even though it may seem shallow to dislike someone just because of their pitch, science is here to make you feel okay with your date's voice preferences.

According to Prague's Faculty of Science at Charles University, lower male voices are perceived as more attractive and dominant. Men have deeper voices than women because of a higher amount of testosterone in their bodies. A higher amount of testosterone also means a more physically masculine person. A study published by Sage Journals found that ovulating women are more attracted to masculine men, because of their testosterone-based characteristics — one of which is a deeper, lower-pitched voice.

The case is the same when roles are reversed. Men prefer a woman with a more high-pitched voice, according to Charles University. When all of this information is taken into account, it seems like the body is evolutionarily rigged to find the best possible mate, and we're not even really aware of it.

Voicing the dealbreaker

You went out with someone, and the voice just isn't doing it for you. It's totally okay for that to be a dealbreaker for you, but you might want to avoid waiting to meet the person in real life before hearing their voice.

One way to do that is to make sure you talk to the person you're going on a date with before the date itself. Poosh advises the old-fashioned phone call. Yes, you read that right. Even if you might have phone call anxiety, try to push through it to save yourself from a potentially more uncomfortable situation later. If that's not possible, there's always the beauty of a voice message. Play it cool and send one first. If they don't send a voice message back, just ask for one. It's totally okay to want to know how they sound.

However, if you did go out with them already and you just can't work through their pitch, be nice. Maybe don't mention the voice as a reason you don't want to see them again, as that might hurt their feelings. Dating anxiety is more common than you think; don't be the cause of it for someone else. Your dealbreakers are valid, but there's no need to make someone feel insecure. As for you, stay positive. Your perfect pitch is out there.