Signs The Person You've Been Seeing Might Ghost You

Back in the day, when someone wasn't interested in you anymore, they were forced to tell you or move to a different city. But now we have screens to hide behind, making it super easy to ignore texts, phone calls, and attempts to meet up.

Ghosting. It's the word on every dater's tongue and also the bane of their existence. Ghosting actually became so popular that in February 2017 it was added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary as another definition for the word "ghost" used as a verb. Though it's a popular and convenient way to cut someone off, it's also considered rude and cowardly and can lead to hurt feelings. However, that doesn't stop modern daters from doing it.

If you've ever been ghosted, you know it's not a good feeling. You're left without answers or closure, and it's simply not fair. To combat this era of ghosting in the dating world, it's essential to know when you're about to get ghosted so that you can take the appropriate actions and protect your feelings.

They are detaching in a variety of ways

Have you ever been talking to someone consistently and they suddenly stop responding, or their replies become short and far apart? That's usually a sign of ghosting — or that you're about to get ghosted. It can happen between friends and family, but the term is used more commonly in the modern dating scene. Ghosting can make a relationship go from cute "good morning" texts to waiting hours, days, or even weeks for someone to return your call or text. This leaves you in the dark, contemplating what you did wrong. 

Besides waiting for texts and calls back, you can tell if someone is detaching by how interested they are in the conversation. Short replies don't necessarily mean they're not interested, as some people are just better in person, and others live really busy lives. But short replies paired with total disinterest in your life or plans aren't a good sign of a long-lasting relationship, especially if conversations used to be long and deep. 

Detachment can also easily be observed on a date. If their body language is disengaged and distant — i.e., they're turned away from you, have their arms crossed, or are not looking you in the eyes — you'll feel an obvious disconnect. In this day and age, phones are a great distractor on a date and can act as a safety net for someone who doesn't want to be there. So next time you're out with your date, keep a lookout for how many times they check their phone. 

They're hesitant to give out personal information

Answering simple questions about where you work, where you live, and what you do is usually an easy task, right? Well, not for active ghosters. If someone has a reputation or habit of ghosting, they're usually pretty sparse with the personal information they give out to people they're "just talking to" or casually dating. So, it's definitely a red flag if you've been talking to someone for weeks and have no idea what their interests are or where they grew up. 

If you're missing the answers to some very basic questions, look back to the initial texts you sent each other. If the person you're talking to has been leading with flirty and sexy messages from the beginning, chances are they were probably never interested in a real relationship. Not sharing personal information makes dipping out of a relationship fast and easy.

They never show up

Dates can be exciting. That's why people take so long to get ready for them, making sure they look good, smell good, and feel confident. Other tasks — such as reserving tables or booking tickets — are also on the usual to-do list when it comes to dating. And that's why it hurts so bad when you're stood up. The fun night out that you've been waiting and prepping for becomes a big letdown that leaves you feeling embarrassed and unworthy. And though embarrassment is a normal emotion and completely justified, realize that you are not at fault.

Whether your date is constantly not showing up or just bailing last minute, it can be super disappointing and disrespectful of your time. It should cause you to wonder if you're about to get ghosted, and if so, how you want to handle it. Make sure the person you're talking to deserves the time you give them.

They're not watching your stories anymore

Imagine the person you are dating was once so active on Instagram, posting new feed photos, liking your stories, sliding into your DMs — and then all of a sudden they disappear off of every platform. Going ghost on social media might be a sign they are about to ghost in real life you too. Modern daters do this so that the other person cannot know what they're up to, where they are, or who they're with. 

Let's face it: Social media can make us feel like we're in the FBI. It's the perfect snooping tool. Ghosters are smart by taking a hiatus because it makes it harder to gather information. This can be totally frustrating when you just want clear answers about your relationship. Seeing their social media go totally dark could also be because they blocked you, which prevents you from seeing any of their activity. 

What to do if you think you're about to be ghosted

If you've noticed the signs and felt that gut feeling of disconnect, you may want to check in with the person you've been talking to. Maybe they're about to ghost you, and as an equal, you deserve answers and closure. It's okay if they're not interested, but they should have the respect to tell you. But if they haven't even hinted at it and that gut feeling is gnawing at your insides, here's the right way to handle being (almost) ghosted: take the initiative and broach the subject so you can stop wasting your time and energy on them and move on.

However, if you consider yourself a non-confrontational person, the other option you have is to stop giving all your energy to the relationship. Take a step back and let them text you first for a chance, or wait for them to call to arrange plans. If they don't, then you have your answer.

In general, it's not too difficult to tell when someone's ghosting you. If you're the person always leading the conversation and pushing for plans, chances are they're not into it. Getting ghosted happens to the best of us, but knowing that it's coming can help you to feel more at peace with it. Just think of it as the universe's way of telling you to keep looking for that special someone. For now, just relax and take care of yourself.