Why The Internet Wants To Avoid Drinking On A Date
Bars are a typical first-date scenario. After all, they provide a laid-back atmosphere where you and your potential partner can loosen up over a couple of drinks. In a survey conducted by the online dating site Zoosk, almost half of the participants agreed that drinking on the first date was no biggie because it was a casual and simple activity. About 30% said it helped get the conversation going. However, while there is a blanket of positive association between alcohol and dating, many claim it is a dependency society should break away from. While getting completely wasted is something you should never do on a first date, is drinking altogether off the table?
The TikTok search "alcohol is the new cigarettes" has over 13 million views on the social media platform. Singles are associating cocktails with smoking — a practice we can all agree is bad for your health. According to the experts, you might want to try sober dating for several reasons. Having a glass of wine or whiskey on the rocks while chatting up a cute stranger is now a dating turnoff.
Drinking and dating no longer go hand in hand
Hinge, "the dating app meant to be deleted," is very enticing for those seeking long-term relationships. The site offers prompts users can ask to test if their match is really "the one." Interestingly, "Instead of getting drinks let's ... " was one the most popular prompts on the dating site, beaten only by "Choose your first date." It is evident singles are moving away from the standard tipsy night out when looking for love.
Sarah Weston, manager of the recovery connection program at Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation, told The Washington Post, "Dating sober affords space to determine whether the chemistry is genuine." It won't be a time forged by liquid courage, but by the true compatibility you and your date have.
Not only does alcohol provide a false connection, but it can prolong a date that your sober self would end. Dalya Heron Brook, a relationship coach and matchmaker, explained to One Year No Beer, "The more woozy you are, your tolerance for people goes up because you're not really seeing who they are." So if the goal is to find a partner you actually want to be around, dry dating isn't a bad idea. Plus, there are fun first-date alternatives to "grabbing a drink."
Tips for booze-free dating
Dry dating might be intimidating at first, but so is regular dating. Like with any socializing, it's a skill that takes time to master, so don't beat yourself up about awkward moments. Logan Ury, Hinge's Director of Relationship Science, has some tips to get over dry dating hurdles. She told Elite Daily, "If you're looking to go the sober dating route, be upfront about your preferences from the beginning." This way, you can weed out those whose lifestyle doesn't match yours.
And if you typically like a hard drink to loosen up, Ury suggests finding an equally effective method like "listening to a pump-up playlist, calling a friend for a pep talk, or making a mental list of all the reasons you'd be a great partner." This confidence will last through the date and won't wear off like liquid courage.
While an ice cream meet-up is the perfect first date idea, you can also try any activity that prompts conversation, promotes interaction, and showcases personality. Karaoke, cooking classes, hiking, escape rooms, bowling, arcades, and dance classes are dates that encourage engagement and participation. You can learn a lot about your date by the song they pick to belt out or how they react after getting four gutter balls in a row. And they can't blame their bad singing or bowling on the liquor.