JoJo Fletcher & Jordan Rodgers Discuss The Bachelorette And The Big D - Exclusive Interview

If there's one thing nearly everybody wants to find one day, it's true love — and it's something that many people have set out to discover on reality television. JoJo Fletcher is a believer. She searched for the love of her life on both "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette," where she met her husband, Jordan Rodgers.

Now, these newlyweds have made it their mission to help others find love as the hosts of USA Network's reality dating series "The Big D." In it, contestants who are coming out on the other side of a divorce will spend 10 weeks living in a house in Costa Rica, dating other newly-divorced housemates. There's only one catch: All of their ex-spouses will be living there and doing the exact same thing.

With the help of relationship expert Dr. Jada Jackson, these couples will embark on a series of "ex-ercises" to help them heal and move forward — and in some cases, that will mean falling back in love with each other. Each week, one contestant will be eliminated, and in the end, only one successful couple will stand apart from the rest and win $50,000.

In an exclusive interview with The List, hosts Fletcher and Rodgers gave us a behind-the-scenes look at "The Big D," opened up about how their experiences on "The Bachelorette" influenced the way they hosted this reality dating show, and shared the one relationship "rule" they learned from a series about divorce that they now execute in their marriage today.

You both have experience being on the other side of a dating reality TV show through your time on "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette." How did those experiences affect how you approached hosting one?

Rodgers: We noticed that it is very easy to get caught up in the craziness and production of it as a contestant on the show. I remember showing up [on] night one, stepping out of the limo, and my eyes are this big, and there's cameras everywhere. I remember the first couple times I sat down with JoJo — afterward, I'm like, "Who was that guy? I don't even know who I [am] — I'm not acting like myself."

It's weird. Dating on reality shows is weird. Us being able to sit back and see that unfold, and on camera and off camera, talk to some of these contestants and ease some of the concerns or give our own insight of, "We were there. I sat in that chair. I was overwhelmed. I didn't know if I had feelings for her or I just thought it was a cool date because we were on a yacht in Uruguay" ... Where are those real feelings? Helping them dig through that and find growth and find connections was fun.

Fletcher: It's such a unique situation to be in because you are taken out of your life. You have no cell phone, you don't have access to your emails, you have no connection with the outside world — no friends, no families — and you're put in this situation to focus on your feelings and your emotions. There's never any time in your life when you can just focus on that. For us, that was what helped us create and form these strong connections and relationships on ["The Bachelorette"].

But on ["The Big D"], this is a unique opportunity for them to do a lot of self-growth, a lot of self-realization, to dig into figuring out, "Why am I holding onto all this baggage from my past? Why are me and my ex not able to move forward? What are those real reasons?" You see them actually start to have those conversations.

[It] doesn't always start out in a healthy way, but the great thing is Dr. Jada [Jackson]. You'll see her on our show. She was our therapist on the show. She was such an incredible resource for these ex-couples, not only for self-growth but also to be able to find that closure that a lot of these people needed in order to move into a healthier, better relationship.

Were there any important takeaways that you learned from Dr. Jada Jackson that even couples in happy relationships could benefit from hearing?

Rodgers: Like us.

Fletcher: Yes. We have the "take five rule" that we learned from Dr. Jada Jackson.

The reality of life and relationships is that no relationship is perfect, as great a couple as you are. Nothing's perfect. You're always going to continue to grow. You're going to continue to learn. You're going to continue to figure things out about each other that maybe you're like, "Oh, I don't like that." It's about how you work through it, and that's something that you can always improve upon — always, always, always.

One thing that Dr. Jada told us — I can't remember if it was in one of our holding rooms — was "Take five. Take a beat." If you're ever in an argument or a disagreement, and you're feeling like it's not going in the direction of resolution in a healthy way, you've got to take five.

You both got to, "All right. We're going to take five. We're going to walk away from this. We're getting a little elevated. Take five." Come back to the conversation and realize that you're coming back for a better conversation.

Rodgers: The green room for us was where we get makeup, where we got our wardrobe, but it was also our therapy session.

Fletcher: With Dr. Jada.

Rodgers: We would sit in there waiting, as they're waiting for us — for hours, sometimes. Middle of the night, waiting on a night shoot — we're talking to Dr. Jada.

The "take five" seems so simple, but in our relationship, we realized that the way we wanted to handle conflict was different. One of us wanted to talk it out, and the other wanted to move on, but when this one wants to just move on, this one thinks, "Well, you're dismissing it now," so you're missing each other. Dr. Jada was like, "The more you miss each other and communicate wrong, the more it escalates."

Sometimes you go, "Wait. Okay, let's take a break." You step away, come back to it now that we've de-escalated, and figure out where the communication was going wrong. For us, I was like, "Wait a minute. Yeah!"

Fletcher: Even saying, "We're going to take five," it was breaking that ice. It was like, "We both get it now. Let's take a minute, and let's come back."

Rodgers: Yes. De-escalate it, and we realize we were missing each other. "Let's hold on."

That's such a helpful rule to know, because I feel like five minutes gives you time to come back with a different mindset to look at it differently and be able to work together on it.

Rodgers: You say something you maybe didn't want to say, and before it escalates too far ... That's relationships. It's never perfect, but if you can find something, that little nugget that re-centers you or brings you back ...

Fletcher: It resets you. Yes.

As you witnessed what the divorcees were going through on "The Big D," were there any emotionally challenging moments that came up for either of you — considering you both know what it's like to be dating on TV and to experience those emotions on camera?

Rodgers: Maybe not challenging, but [what] was such a cool moment of opportunity for me was ... not everybody on the show volunteered or sought it out. Sometimes, one of the partners wanted to do this for one reason or another, and the other partner — maybe it wasn't their first choice, maybe going on a TV show wasn't what they wanted to do, but they found themselves here.

One of the ex-husbands was starting to form a new connection, but he didn't want to do TV. He never wanted to be on a reality show, so he was overwhelmed by everything — the cameras, whether these feelings were real, or if he was in a bubble and feeling things that maybe weren't real.

I sat back and go, "I was there. I was there with JoJo where I was like, 'I think I feel this way about her, but do I really, or is it just because I'm doing all these crazy cool dates?'" I got a chance to go talk to him off-camera and share that with him. I was like, "I've been there, and here's what I did to sit down and go through some of those feelings and realize that they were real, and that there was an opportunity to find true love here on a crazy reality show." That was a moment I was watching behind the scenes going, "I've been him."

Fletcher: There's a lot of moments that we see from afar and we're like, "I've been there." Obviously, we've never been divorced, so we can't say that we can relate on that level, but ... I have some memories of moments with individual girls. There was one — I won't give away too much — but you start to get connected to these people and their stories, and you start to learn a lot about them as individuals. There was one individual who you start rooting for because you want this person to find her voice. It was something that she never had for so long. It was something that I was like, "You have that in you."

Before I went onto "The Bachelor," from previous relationships, I had felt like I had lost my voice a little bit and that I wasn't that strong, independent woman that I always wanted to be. I had let past relationships break me down little by little. Coming off of the show and finding a wonderful, amazing relationship was what I had always wanted. You get your voice back. You get your independence back.

There was one girl that, throughout our show, you see have this self-evolution of finding her voice again. I just got chills again. It's really cool, and you're rooting for them.