The Tragic, True Story Of Tatum O'Neal
Tatum O'Neal is perhaps best remembered for her impressive roles as a child actress and her early Oscar win. She was remarkable in many ways and showed such skill and promise. Fans may have imagined her life filled with love and luxury, but the truth is very different.
"The Bad News Bears" actress had a troubled childhood where she was neglected and abused. Her life has been filled with hardships, and she has sometimes felt overwhelmed. "I was really ready to kind of fall down and not get back up," she told CBS News. "I was not myself. I was, at 22, and then the kids gave me a kind of a real reason to keep going and fight."
Despite the struggles she faced and the tragedies in her life, O'Neal still has a positive outlook. "'She lived her life to the fullest against all the odds', because there were a lot of odds. Actually, no, take out 'against all the odds,' just put: 'She lived her life to the fullest'" she told The Guardian in a 2011 interview about what she wants her tombstone to read. So, this is the story of the woman who lived her life to the fullest — despite that not always being an easy thing to do.
Her mother was incredibly neglectful
Tatum O'Neal has bravely discussed her childhood and the terrible things she endured, partly because of her parents' negligence. In an interview with NBC News in 2004, the actress was asked about the assault that happened when she was six, to which she replied, "When parents are off getting drunk or getting high or taking pills in another room, and leaving little children with, you know, people who don't watch their kids, this is what happens."
She also spoke about her mother, Joanna Moore, and how her substance abuse problems lasted throughout her childhood, as she explained, "it just didn't end." Moore was not the mother figure her children needed, and when Tatum O'Neal's parents divorced, she and her younger brother Griffin would initially live with their mother on a ranch in Los Angeles. This was a terrible time in their life, as she explained, "In the grip of addiction, [my mother] had virtually abandoned me and Griffin, leaving us in squalor — starving, shoeless, and ragged, as well as beaten and abused by the men in her life."
If you or someone you know may be the victim of child abuse, please contact the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-Child (1-800-422-4453) or contact their live chat services.
If you or anyone you know needs help with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
Tatum O'Neal is the survivor of childhood abuse
Acting was in Tatum O'Neal's blood; her parents were part of the entertainment industry. Her father is Ryan O'Neal, a big star in the 70s, and her mother, Joanna Moore, was also an actress, but her work was more focused on television than the big screen. All this to say, she grew up with two creatives who may have been talented but also struggled with their own issues, including substance abuse, which meant they weren't always there for Tatum in the way a parent should be.
Tatum had to fend for herself from a young age, which made her vulnerable to predators. She commented on the abuse in an Instagram post in 2018, noting how she was "sexually assaulted more than once." She recalled several times in her childhood, starting as young as five, and how the perpetrators had all been "older men who I thought were safe." She continued, "I rarely have known safety and was always blamed for the assaults, and my loudness, and curiosity. It's taken in me almost 55 years to know how to advocate for myself But I learn fast, and here I go!!"
If you or anyone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, help is available. Visit the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network website or contact RAINN's National Helpline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
Tatum O'Neal has discussed her childhood trauma
Tatum O'Neal became a child star from a young age and proved exceptionally talented when she won an Academy Award when she was ten for her portrayal of Addie Loggins in the 1973 movie, "Paper Moon." While this is a remarkable achievement, she has also endured many painful experiences, specifically in childhood, that have caused her emotional trauma, which she's struggled to work through.
She could do this by putting her feelings into words in her memoir, "Found: A Daughter's Journey Home," first published in 2011. The book discusses many aspects of the "Little Darlings" actress's life, including her relationship with her father, Ryan O'Neal, and carries a theme of how she has tried to heal from her past.
In an interview with The Guardian, she discussed the content of "Found" and how writing it had been an important part of her healing process (it is her second memoir, the first being "A Paper Life"). "Any time anyone dredges up all that trauma, all those memories, it's difficult to cope unless you have a strong grounding and you're well," she explained. "But writing 'Found' has been more cathartic. I think the fact that it has been helping other people has helped. It's less of a titillating read."
The star has a troubled relationship with her father
Much of Tatum O'Neal's life is an open book, quite literally, as her memoirs have shared a glimpse into who she is and the struggles she would overcome. The actress has made no secret that her relationship with her parents has been complicated, to say the least. When discussing "Found: A Daughter's Journey Home" with The Guardian in 2011, she was asked what her father, Ryan O'Neal, had thought about the content. Her answer? "He didn't like it, he wasn't a fan of it." At the time of the interview, Tatum also commented on how their relationship was currently strained and confessed to feeling as if her father's actions suggested he did not view her favorably.
"I don't think he sees me in a positive light. He has a lot of anger. I don't think he likes me," she told the publication. This would not be the only time she addressed her father's anger issues and how his actions would affect her life.
If you or someone you know may be the victim of child abuse, please contact the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-Child (1-800-422-4453) or contact their live chat services.
Her dad was also physically and emotionally abusive
Over the years, Tatum O'Neal has discussed her contemptuous relationship with her father. In some ways, the turning point in their father-daughter bond changed after she was nominated for an Academy Award for the 1973 film, "Paper Moon," directed by the late Peter Bogdanovich. They starred in the film together.
"It sort of destroyed us," she told NBC News in 2004 of how the movie changed their relationship. The actress claimed her father was resentful toward her because of her win. "In the press, he played the doting father," she wrote in "A Paper Life" (via Independent). "But in his eyes, I read the truth: deep resentment that his own brilliant performance was being dismissed."
In her interview with NBC News, she was asked about her father being physically abusive toward her upon learning she was nominated for an Oscar, which she confirmed happened. This would not be an isolated event, as the actress claimed her father "had an abusive streak" in her memoir. She elaborated on her comments in the interview, saying, "Yeah, he still kind of does. I mean, there was always a slugging thing. Or a backhand, or throwing out of the car or whatever. It was a rough, just rough around the house." In addition to the physical assault, there were also emotional and verbal insults to contend with.
If you or someone you know may be the victim of child abuse, please contact the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-Child (1-800-422-4453) or contact their live chat services.
Tatum O'Neal never got to have a childhood
Tatum O'Neal's childhood was far from typical, and she was left to fend for herself from a young age. She would also start working as a child actor, and the combination of these two things meant she never really had the opportunity to be a child.
"I was raised in an environment where there was no way for me to be a child," she told The Guardian in a 2011 interview. "It just wasn't going to happen. I was with adults all the time, I was very mature. I don't know how that could have changed, what with the way things panned out between my mother and father." She had access to drugs and alcohol from a young age and would later struggle with addiction. These aspects of her life are now in the past, but the actress has been honest about the hardships and impact her past has had.
If you or anyone you know needs help with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
Tatum O'Neal was terrified to sleep alone
Tatum O'Neal initially lived with her mother following her parents' divorce, but she would later move in with her father in Malibu, California. Given the comments she has made in interviews, it seems that for a time, she was happier, and the environment was more stable than when she had lived with her mother. However, Ryan O'Neal did not change his lifestyle entirely to accommodate his young child and continued to bring women home to the house. "There was never any privacy. You could always hear him," Tatum told NBC News.
In the same interview, the star commented on how she struggled to be on her own at night and felt terrified. "I was so afraid from all the things that had happened to me at the ranch that I couldn't sleep alone," she confessed. This meant she would often enter her father's room at night, regardless of whether he had a female companion over or not.
Tatum O'Neal felt betrayed by Melanie Griffith
Tatum O'Neal was mature for her age, and the lack of childhood made her grow up long before most children. So, it should not be a surprise that she thought one of her best friends was actress Melanie Griffith, who is six years older than her. Their friendship began when O'Neal was 12 and Griffith was 18. But she was deeply affected when she found Griffith in an intimate position with her father, Ryan O'Neal.
"I thought she was my best friend. But there's an agenda that I'm not aware of, which is that they're going to sort of get together — and I walk in on them, and I end up trying to take my life in a very sort of severe way," Tatum told NBC News. The interviewer questioned whether she felt betrayed, to which the actress responded by saying, "Well, yeah." She was so emotional about the discovery that she no longer wanted to live.
If you or anyone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by dialing 988 or by calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
She had a bitter and public divorce from John McEnroe
Tatum O'Neal and tennis player John McEnroe had their first child, Kevin, in 1986. The same year they would marry and later have two more children, another son, Sean, and their daughter, Emily. But their relationship was known to be complicated. In an interview with The Guardian, O'Neal commented on their arguments, saying, "Definitely the same things he said on court got taken home." Those who are fans of McEnroe will know he is remembered as much for his skills on the court as he was for his fiery outbursts.
In 1994, they got divorced, but it was far from amicable. Interestingly, years later, the actress would comment on her relationship with her former husband in an interview with CBS News. "The happiest times of my life were the times that I was married," she said in 2020. "Sometimes we think we're making the right decision and maybe we aren't. And I have to live with that, too." She also praised McEnroe, saying, "I've never met anyone who even comes close to my ex-husband."
Her substance abuse had an affect on how she parented her children
Tatum O'Neal has worked hard to put her past behind her, but there was an uphill struggle before she could get to this point. She has spoken openly about her addiction and journey to achieve sobriety after decades, but her children have also shared a glimpse into what their own lives were like because of this.
Her second child, Sean O'Neal, gave an interview with Page Six in 2016 and discussed his relationship with his mother, including how he and his siblings learned to react to her addiction. "My brother and I were really intuitive," he explained. "Any time we knew something was off [with Tatum's drug use], we ... stayed in our rooms ... [or] went to movies and played basketball." In an interview with People magazine in 2023, Tatum talked about how her life had changed since she became sober. "Every day I am trying," the actress said. "I want to be with my beautiful three kids."
If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
There was a period in her life when she was completely isolated
The effect of the COVID pandemic was felt around the world. It changed how people socialized, and many felt alone during this time. Tatum O'Neal was no exception, and her son, Kevin McEnroe, told People magazine in a 2023 interview how the combination of pain medication and quarantine impacted his mother in 2020 (when she overdosed).
"She had become very isolated," he explained. "With the addition of morphine and heavier pharmaceuticals, it was getting scary. COVID, chronic pain, all these things led to a place of isolation. In that place, I don't think, for her, there was much hope." Of course, we cannot make claims about the actress's situation. Still, when you better understand O'Neal's history, including her comments about her childhood and how she could not be alone because she felt afraid and unsafe, we get a small glimpse into what may have been going through her mind.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
Tatum O'Neal has struggled with substance abuse
Tatum O'Neal was exposed to alcohol and drugs from a young age and became addicted to heroin in the mid-90s. She's addressed her addiction and the difficult road to recovery. This includes several relapses over the years. In an interview with The Guardian in 2011, the publication noted how "The Runaways" actress had been sober since 2009, and the actress commented on this, saying, "I feel pretty good today! I don't think you can say, 'I'm healed. I'm over it,' but I'm not waking up wishing I was hungover or doing drugs or something."
In 2020 she had an overdose, and in 2023, O'Neal gave an interview to People magazine. "I've been trying to get sober my whole life," she confessed. Despite attending many rehab facilities and remaining sober for periods of her life, she admits, "I was an addict my whole life, pretty much on and off, for the past 30 to 40 years."
If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
She had a serious stroke which greatly impacted her health
Tatum O'Neal's health took a turn in 2020 when she overdosed and had a stroke. "I almost died," she told People magazine in a 2023 interview. In the same interview, her eldest son, Kevin McEnroe, commented on her health and explained what she had gone through.
"She also had a cardiac arrest and a number of seizures," he explained. "There were times we didn't think she was going to survive." There were points during her stay in the hospital that her children were unsure whether she would recover. "At times, it was touch and go," Kevin explained. "I had to call my brother and sister and say she was thought to be blind, deaf and potentially might never speak again."
"I've been through a lot," the actress told the publication. Her comments are an understatement when you consider all the tragic details of her life. That said, she appears to be in a good place and has the full support of her children, who have remarked on the notable change in her. "So to me, this last chapter where she wants to live, wants to get sober, wants to learn, I think it's a miracle," Kevin said. "I think it's beautiful."
If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
She has finally become the mom her son wanted
Tatum O'Neal has had a memorable career, but she is also a mother to three children, Kevin, Sean, and Emily, who she shares with her ex-husband, John McEnroe. Her eldest child, Kevin McEnroe, gave an interview to People magazine in 2023, in which he described the changes his mother has gone through in later years. It is no secret that O'Neal has her own story involving substance abuse, but in later years she has been focused on her sobriety and creating a stronger bond with her children. Or, as Kevin describes it, he now finally has the mother figure he knew she was capable of being.
"She's the mom I always wanted," he told the publication, adding, "the mom I knew I had. Full of love, full of heart but she couldn't get out of her own way, and I feel like she's able to do that today. We are a family again and I've never been more proud to be her son." He also praised her for the dedication she has to remain sober and changing her life for the better, noting she was "making an enormous effort to embrace the lifestyle that is being in recovery."