Possible Reasons Why Melania And Donald Trump Stay Together
It does not take a relationship expert to know that Donald and Melania Trump have something of an unconventional marriage. The two, who first crossed paths in 1998, do not necessarily appear to have a lot in common. Whereas Donald is a public figure who once had his own reality TV show, Melania tends to avoid the spotlight. While Donald enjoys the excitement of running for public office, Melania prefers a slower-paced lifestyle.
These sorts of differences have long fueled rumors that Donald and Melania's marriage is on the rocks. And, to make matters worse, the real estate mogul's alleged involvement with other women — most famously Stormy Daniels — has led many to speculate that Melania is not a happy wife.
In spite of these scandals, however, Donald and Melania have remained together for more than 20 years. Following their 2005 marriage, they have defended each other in public time and time again. In the wake of a 2017 Vanity Fair article critiquing Melania's work as first lady, Donald took to X, the platform formerly known as Twitter, to write that she "truly loves what she is doing." Likewise, Melania told Anderson Cooper that she still supported her husband in light of the leaked "Access Hollywood" tape in 2016. Even though it may sometimes seem the couple is poorly matched, insiders say — when push comes to shove — they are perfect for each other.
Donald and Melania Trump had a connection early on
From the time that Donald and Melania Trump began dating in 1998, there have been whispers that the two were not meant to be. At the time, Donald had been dating multiple women — including a certain Kara Young — and didn't know who to choose. As chronicled in the book "The Art of Her Deal: The Untold Story of Melania Trump" by Mary Jordan, Donald reached out to one of his associates to ask which woman he preferred. Recalling this incident, the associate told Jordan, "I said 'Kara' because I never really liked Melania that much."
Despite this advice, Donald decided to continue seeing Melania. The reason? Perhaps, he was simply following his heart. In his conversation with Jordan, Donald's former associate revealed that the real estate mogul was disappointed to hear him voice his preference for Kara. As this anonymous individual shared, "I could tell that was not the answer he wanted. He had made up his mind. He said Melania was 'central casting.'"
Apparently, the attraction was mutual. According to photographer Antoine Verglas, Donald and Melania were constantly making eyes at each other. As Verglas told Jordan in an interview for the same book (via Slate), "She was always looking at him like he was God, and he was looking at her like she was a goddess." Although not everyone in their circles supported the match, Donald and Melania are believed to have felt a strong connection.
The couple stays together for their shared values
They say opposites attract, and, in some ways, this is true for Donald and Melania Trump. Family friend Philip Bloch has gone public with his opinion that the two are nothing alike. As the stylist told Mary Jordan for "The Art of Her Deal: The Untold Story of Melania Trump," Melania is "gracious and polite and steady. She's the complete opposite of him, really."
In spite of these differences, it seems that Donald and Melania do have one thing in common: their values. According to a GQ interview, Melania and her husband see eye-to-eye on a lot of issues. Speaking to the outlet, the former first lady herself said, "I myself am similar to my husband. Do you understand what I mean? So is my dad; he is a family man, he has tradition, he was hardworking. So is my husband."
She also compared Donald's sense of morality to that of her own father, Viktor Knavs, stating, "They have the same values." This could very well be true. Like the former president, who is famously litigious, Knavs allegedly once sued an ex-girlfriend for filing a paternity claim. Both men have also faced scandals involving their tax filings and maintain an interest in nice things. Of her father, Melania told GQ, "He likes quality." Donald, meanwhile, remains famous for his lavish lifestyle.
They both want a relationship full of negotiation
It's no secret that Donald Trump is big on negotiation, but when it comes to his marriage, it turns out he's not the only one. Melania Trump is also said to be a strong negotiator, and, interestingly, this similarity is said to have a major impact on the couple's marriage. In contrast to many modern relationships, which focus on ideals such as communication and understanding, Melania and Donald are believed to have a relationship in which each party is constantly trying to get a better deal.
According to Mary Jordan's "The Art of Her Deal: The Untold Story of Melania Trump," this was evident in 2017 right after Donald was sworn into office. At the time, Melania refused to move into the White House with her husband, claiming publicly that she didn't want to interrupt Barron Trump's schooling. In private, though, Jordan's investigation claims that Melania was using her refusal to perform her first lady duties as leverage in her own secret negotiations with Donald's lawyers. Melania's goal? Apparently, she wanted to renegotiate her prenup.
In 2023, Page Six reported that the former first lady renegotiated her prenup once again to account for a potential second term in office. As a friend of the family's told the outlet, "I know that she wanted it to provide her with more money, and also — from what I understand — there's a specific amount at minimum that Barron is supposed to obtain."
Melania and Donald Trump both enjoy their alone time
If Donald and Melania Trump have a similar vision for the inner-workings of a relationship, perhaps it's because they have similar personalities. According to Trump family expert Mary Jordan, both Donald and Melania enjoy quite a bit of alone time. Speaking to The Guardian on this matter, Jordan explained, "I don't know any couple that spends as much time apart. They are often in the same building, but nowhere near each other ... She is a loner. He is a loner. They're perfectly happy to be separated."
In the past, Melania has said as much. According to GQ, the former first lady once told the press, "He is a very understanding husband ... If I say, 'I need an hour, I'm going to take a bath,' or I'm having a massage, he doesn't have nothing against it. He's very supportive in that way." In 2016, she told The Washington Post that Donald also requires a lot of personal time, during which he spends on his own projects. "We like to do what we like to do, and we give ourselves and each other space ... I allowed him to do, to have his passion and his dreams come true, and he let me do the same," she said. In other words, both Donald and Melania value their own independence.
Melania has learned how to keep her husband happy
Compatibility is not the only reason why Donald and Melania Trump probably won't get divorced. Some reports indicate that Melania has put a ton of effort into the relationship as a way to guarantee its success. According to Mary Jordan's "The Art of Her Deal: The Untold Story of Melania Trump," the former first lady took the time to learn about Donald's previous wives to avoid repeating their mistakes. It is believed that Melania read all 17 of the ghostwritten books that Trump has published about his life to gain insight into why those relationships failed. Jordan writes that she has done everything in her power to avoid that same failure.
Because of this, Melania has tried to shape herself into the woman whom Donald wants by his side. As Jordan puts it in her book, "Melania praised him constantly. She had few friends and a small family and seemed focused solely on Trump. She was always impeccably dressed, her hair and makeup just so, never sloppy, always camera-ready."
Even during the brief period of time early in their relationship when they separated, Melania continued to fulfill Donald's expectations. Per Jordan, "She continued to do exactly what Trump liked during their breakup period. She stayed in; she dated no one." One of the former first lady's friends told Jordan that Melania was trying to prove her loyalty to her then-future husband.
She supports her husband's most controversial political statements
Ever since he began campaigning for the 2016 election, Donald Trump has been a polarizing figure. Over the years, he has become famous for making what are, at times, outlandish claims — many of which have been proven to be categorically false. In spite of this, his wife, Melania Trump, has supported much of what he has said — even in the face of evidence to the contrary.
An instance of this dynamic can be illustrated by Donald's unfounded claims that former president Barack Obama was born outside of the U.S. While Donald faced backlash for his comments, Melania appeared on the "Joy Behar Show" where she addressed the controversy. "It's not only Donald who wants to see [Obama's birth certificate], it's American people who voted for him and who didn't vote for him. They want to see that," Melania says. In response, Behar points out that the birth certificate is, in fact, available to the public, noting a hard copy available in Chicago and a digital one accessible online. To this, Melania only doubles down on her husband's opinion, saying, "We feel it's different than birth certificate."
This sort of intense support for Donald's political claims shows that Melania is on board with certain elements of her husband's campaign. As Trump family expert Mary Jordan told The Guardian, "She's the first call he makes after a speech or a rally." This is probably not a coincidence.
Melania strengthens Donald Trump's political campaign
In the world of politics, a marriage is much more than just a union between two lovers — it's a way to get ahead. Historically, a president without a life partner has been entirely unelectable. As noted by a 2015 piece in The Washington Post, only two single presidents have ever been elected in American history, and one of them — Glover Cleveland — tied the knot during his first term in office. The other, James Buchanan, was sworn in in 1857; therefore, it has been more than 160 years since the U.S. last had a leader who was single.
Because of this, it would be unadvisable, politically speaking, for Donald and Melania Trump to part ways. As a political candidate, Donald is much stronger with Melania by his side. During the 2016 election, she played a major role in convincing women to vote for her controversial husband. And, during the 2024 election, she has been said to give her husband advice on how to appear more presidential — including, apparently, a firm warning against dancing off the stage.
Of course, it's hard to say exactly how a divorce would impact Donald's political ambitions. However, Melania's willingness to campaign for her husband (however occasionally) has likely won him votes in the past. The Trump campaign probably would not like to see what would happen were she to retract her support in the future.
Donald and Melania Trump have shared trauma
Couples who overcome challenges together often stick together, so when it comes to Donald and Melania Trump, this seems to be the case. According to Kate Andersen Brower, an expert on American first ladies, presidential couples who have faced scandals together oftentimes exit the White House with a deeper bond. Speaking to The Sunday Times, Brower explained, "When President Nixon resigned [in 1974], I think it brought the Nixons closer together. They went to their estate in California and really had this kind of bunker mentality that they were in it together." She later added, "When you feel like you're under siege, it does make some marriages stronger. Melania is one of the few people who hasn't abandoned Trump."
Interestingly, Trump family expert Mary Jordan largely seems to agree with this assessment. In her own interview with The Sunday Times, Jordan shared, "The reports of his infidelities, his affairs with Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal, infuriated Melania. They were so apart that people worried that she actually could walk ... But what I heard over and over again was that a bunker mentality developed, and she felt closer to him because both of them were taking criticism."
The former first lady appreciates the lifestyle her marriage affords
Of course, outside the world of politics, there are other reasons why Melania Trump remains with Donald Trump. One of these could very well pertain to the lack of stability Melania experienced during her childhood. The former first lady was raised in communist Slovenia, where it was difficult to experience any sort of consistency in her day-to-day life. She grew up in a basic apartment without any frills. According to GQ, Melania's mother, Amalija Knavs, would spend the evenings after work sewing clothes by hand so her daughters would have something nice to wear.
Because Melania comes from such a precarious past, many of her friends say it's unlikely she would ever risk her current financial stability for a divorce. As society publicist R Couri Hay told The Sunday Times, "The likelihood is 99.99% they will stay together. I'd truly be shocked if Melania formally separated and divorced from her husband ... She grew up in a pseudo-communist difficult life ... When she married, she wanted stability, romantic stability, financial stability, and through it all the one thing still standing is that marriage."
Melania wants to ensure a solid financial future for Barron Trump
Finances, though, are hardly the only reason Melania Trump stays with Donald Trump. Even if the two do ever divorce, the assumption is that the former first lady would do quite well monetarily — she has been said to have renegotiated her prenup several times. What's more, as several high-powered lawyers told Town & Country, Melania stands to gain quite a bit if she and Donald do, eventually, part ways.
That said, it is believed that the couple's son, Barron Trump, could suffer quite a bit if his parents were to split. In the past, Donald has referred to Barron as "Melania's son," bringing into question just how much fatherly energy the former president truly feels toward the boy (via USA Today).
Because of this, some sources say that Melania has been working hard to guarantee a trust fund for her only child. Speaking to Page Six about Melania's prenup negotiations, an insider revealed that Melania is most concerned with her son's financial future. "This is at least the third time Melania has renegotiated the terms of her marital agreement ... Melania is most concerned about maintaining and increasing a substantial trust for their son, Barron," the source claimed. A separate source confirmed this, stating, "From what I understand — there's a specific amount at minimum that Barron is supposed to obtain."