The Real Reason Most Bachelor Relationships Fail
We all watch The Bachelor and feel as hopeful as the couples that their love will last after the final rose. But oftentimes, the relationship ends as quickly as it began, with headlines being splashed across the web that no longer even shock fans. Audrey Hope, relationship expert, trauma counselor, and spiritual healer, talked to The List and revealed why so many Bachelor reality relationships fail. It turns out, as she says, "Falling in love on TV is a dangerous seduction because one is lured into an illusion — a false fairytale." She adds, "It is only after the show ends, when the lights are out and the cameras are down, that the curtains lift and real life creeps in."
The "false fairytale" is playing out from the second the show starts filming, with Hope noting, "With an audience for all the world to see, one is forced to put on an invisible mask, which hides the authentic self." The couple "is swept into a fake life," according to her, with what she calls the "glamour gene" getting activated. This means, as Hope explains, "one can get lost in the facade, the fame, the sparkle, and the superficiality."
Ultimately, all of this is dangerous, and "why relationships that seem so wonderful and fun to watch on The Bachelor do not have a really happily ever after."
Reality TV exacerbates real-life relationship problems
The first stage in any relationship is, as Hope notes, referred to as the "honeymoon phase." Even when this takes place on TV, "you want the dream so badly," she says, adding, "During this beginning phase of the love story, you avoid and deny all red flags. There is no reality of this point."
"We do the 80/20 relationship math — he/she is 80 percent fabulous, but only 20 percent not-so-great. The 80 percent fits the dream, so we can forget the horrible, scary 20 percent," Hope explains.
But when you find love on The Bachelor, she notes, even though "it might be fun to start on a love journey with a good looking, handsome, or glamorous, beautiful partner who is great on paper... as time wears on, and more days are spent away from the spotlight, a person wants more depth and connection, and to be on the same wavelength. In time, who cares if they have a great body if they can't listen to you and get who you really are?"
Indeed, this is a common problem, but according to Hope, is enhanced on The Bachelor. And in the end, when the cameras stop filming, "It is just you and the person [you picked] and you see each other for who you really are — without the illusion — and you might not like it."