Signs You've Fallen Out Of Love
Falling in love can be one of the most magical times in an individual or couple's life. It's filled with excitement and hope. You're excited because you've found someone who makes you happy and loves you as much as you love them. The future together seems bright and full of many possibilities. Because you're in love, days are an endless playground of wonder and delight.
Unfortunately, however, love doesn't always last. Falling out of love can be one of the most heartbreaking times in a person's life. It can be devastating and life changing, particularly for women. "It may be more difficult for women to come to terms with, or even admit, that they are having problems maintaining the feelings of love for their spouses," according to Everyday Health.
Nevertheless, it is important to pay attention to signs showing you've fallen out of love. Many psychologists, dating coaches, and love experts agree on the following important signs that you've fallen out of love with your partner. Let's take a look.
You're no longer wowed by your partner
Physical and emotional attraction to your partner is a major component of a healthy relationship. It's probably what started the initial bond. That's why when attraction is lost, it can be a huge sign that the relationship is on a downward spiral. Loss of attraction can show itself in many ways, including lack of sex and forgoing romantic activities.
Dating and breakup recovery coach Cherlyn Chong told Elite Daily that "no more hand-holding, no light touches on the back, no gifts and important dates like anniversaries" could be a sign that the romantic spark has gone, and that's often due to faded attraction.
Additionally, Dr. Ronald E Riggio, Henry R. Kravis professor of leadership and organizational psychology, shared in an article for Psychology Today that when boredom begins, it may lead to seeking something new and exciting with someone else. "Many relationships fall apart when one partner (or both) begin to lose their enthusiasm for the relationship," Riggio confirmed.
You no longer want to be around your partner
It's natural to want to spend some time away from your partner. In fact, it can be healthy to not spend every waking moment with your partner (via Elite Daily). But when you go out of your way to avoid being around your partner, that's not a great sign.
If you're falling out of love with your partner, not only will you likely spend less time together, but you may stop paying much attention to the things your partner is interested in. "Partners falling out of love focus on their personal interests often leaving the partner out," Dr. Ronald E Riggio, psychology professor, explained in Psychology Today.
Spending time together or lack of time together can be a good indicator of whether you both still want to be in the relationship. Plus, enjoying the time you spend together shows you enjoy one another, whereas no longer enjoying each other's company can be a major sign that you're falling out love (via Cosmopolitan).
You use "I" statements instead of "we" ones
Couples are seen and often behave as a unit, so they tend to refer to themselves as a "we," and make statements like "we would love to have you over for dinner" or "we are busy that day." As one distances themselves from their partner, however, they may start to make more "I" statements. Using this singular pronoun versus plural could be a sign that you don't see a future with your partner (via Psychology Today).
Also, according to dating expert Shahzeen Shivdasani in a conversation with Cosmopolitan, "When you love someone your future fantasies involve them. They make the thought of tomorrow a better place. So, if they aren't there, then perhaps you're not where you think you are right now." If you can't envision remaining a "we" with your partner now or in the future, take notice. It could just be a sign you're falling out of love.
You find your partner's quirks insufferable
Dating coach Connell Barrett told Elite Daily that when you first start dating someone, the "halo effect" is active. This means you think everything your partner does is amazing. But when you've fallen out of love, those same habits you once found endearing can become annoying or bothersome. Your partner's bad habits become more noticeable, and this can lead to arguments and unkindness.
However, falling out of love doesn't have to mean that you're headed for a breakup. In an interview with Woman's Day, therapist Susan Edelman recommended seeking counseling if the relationship has gotten to a point where communication has become difficult. Dating expert Julie Spira also advised making a list of why you fell in love in the first place and see if those feelings still exist (Elite Daily). Barrett also suggested to Elite Daily readers to evaluate if the relationship is worth saving and figure out things from there.