How To Date If You Have A Secure Attachment Style
Attachment styles are an important thing to keep in mind when it comes to dating. Learning what each attachment style means can help you better understand your needs and tendencies in a relationship. They can also be beneficial in figuring out why your partner acts the way they do. Understanding these little pieces of relationship psychology can transform your dating experience.
If you have a secure attachment style, dating can be a bit easier than those with other types of attachment styles. Those with a secure attachment style tend to have a positive self-view, which allows them to have a better dating experience, per Refresh Psychotherapy. A person with secure attachment feels confident in both their relationship and partner. This allows trust to flourish. They are able to be independent and in return allows their partner to have their own independence as well. Securely attached individuals are good at reaching out for support and supporting their partners in return.
Securely attached people make the best partners
Your attachment style is the way you specifically relate to people, per MBG Relationships. The theory became popular in psychology during the 1950s. It is believed that your attachment style is established during childhood. The idea is that your attachment style mimics the relationships you had with your caregivers growing up. Those who have a secure attachment style often had a more stable and loving family life that allowed them to form both confidence and independence.
According to Foundational Attachment Research conducted by Psychologists Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver, 56% of adults have secure attachment styles. If you fall into that 56%, there is good news for you. According to the Huffington Post, those with a secure attachment style have the happiest relationships and make the best partners overall. Dr. Amir Levine told Huffington Post, "When a client starts dating someone secure, it's easy," Levine said. "They never have to wonder when's our next date. They never have to wonder where they stand in a relationship."
If you have a secure attachment style, don't be afraid to date someone who has an insecure attachment. According to Dr. Levine, if someone with an insecure attachment finds love with a securely attached partner, they can become more secure. "It's like having a relationship coach built into the relationship. They're so good at it, they walk you through a lot of potential pitfalls and teach you to become more secure."