What Filming Before The 90 Days Taught Memphis About Herself - Exclusive
When we think about dating, we get a little frazzled even considering the ups and downs of a new relationship. It's tough enough to try to incorporate your romantic life with someone else's -– now consider what it'd be like to try to maintain a relationship when your significant other is on the other side of the world. A lot of us can't make a good thing work out when the other person lives down the street, much less in an entirely different country. So, how international couples make it work is just completely out of our wheelhouse. And with all of that said, now think about what'd it be like to have the entire process of the relationship captured on camera? This is essentially the premise of the TLC spin-off show, "90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days," which captures international couples in their early days of dating, facing hurdles such as language barriers, cultural differences, and long distance. Memphis and Hamza are one such couple making a splash on the new season of the hit spin off, and in an exclusive interview with The List, Memphis spilled on just about everything she could.
Memphis is a dynamic, funny, and engaging presence, so it was clear to us pretty quickly that casting her in the new season of "Before the 90 Days" was a no-brainer. From how she met Hamza to a life-saving action on his part to the challenges of a long distance relationship, Memphis dished on so many different elements of the show. But perhaps the most revealing part of the interview was when we asked Memphis what the show –- and her relationship with Hamza -– taught her about herself, her needs, and her approach to romance. Are Memphis and Hamza meant to be? Time will tell on that one, but either way, Memphis is walking away from the show with some new insights. This is what filming "Before the 90 Days" taught Memphis about herself.
Memphis didn't have as much patience as she originally thought
It's safe to say that a number of us learn new insights into our personalities when we get into new, romantic relationships for the first time. Some of us learn that we really need our personal space, others find out that quality time spent with their significant other means far more than any gift or expensive dinner. For Memphis, she learned that her patience was a little lacking, and the new TLC star shared with us that her relationship with Hamza forced her to evaluate her approach.
"Being with [Hamza], I have learned that I'm not as patient as I thought I was and that I must continue to be as patient with him as I am with my children," Memphis shared. "[I'm] not comparing him to my children, but you know what I mean? Just be more understanding." We immediately knew what she meant, because it's easy to snip at your significant other when there are more substantial feelings -– such as a lack of patience –- at play. "That's the biggest thing is just not being so quick to judge the other person, but trying to understand, instead of just judging," Memphis told us.
What else did she learn about herself? That despite promising herself that she'd never do a long-distance relationship because she's a little "needy," she learned that putting in the work is worth it. "You have to have the trust, you have to have the understanding, and you do have to have a lot of patience," she told us. "He is 6 hours ahead of me. So just all of those components, it makes it harder. Not just the distance, but the time. So, just trying to make sure that we're just doing our due diligence to be present."
This is what Memphis shared about being in a multilingual, multiracial relationship
If getting a crash course in patience, understanding, and all of the components of a long-distance relationship weren't enough for Memphis, she also pointed to the very real and defining aspects of being in a multilingual, multiracial relationship. She shared with us that being with Hamza opened her eyes to different hurdles that could come their way. Memphis' words were far more poignant than ours, so this is what she said. "Especially for the African American population, I haven't seen us really divulge in that type of different culture ... My mom, we haven't really had a really good relationship. It's been off and on. So, she likes Hamza as a person, but the fact that he is Muslim is a problem for her," Memphis shared. "So, I think she battles a little bit with that. But at the end of the day, because of our hurdles with our relationship, I really don't ... Her opinion really doesn't matter to me."
Does Memphis worry about the opinions of others who aren't in her family? Not too much. When asked about her friends' perspectives, Memphis shared that while she cares, "at the end of the day, no one's paying my bills." The only people that she's truly concerned about their opinions and well-being are her children, and she made a point of highlighting that she'd never bring someone into their lives who wasn't a positive influence. "I feel like I'm a pretty good judge of character and especially when it comes to my children, I'm not going to bring anyone in their lives that I feel is going to possibly harm them," Memphis told us. Will fans get to see Memphis and Hamza make it through any hurdles and emerge on the other side victoriously? We'll all just have to tune in and see for ourselves.
New episodes premiere on Sundays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on TLC and discovery+.