Surprising Ways That Orgasms Can Benefit Your Relationship
If you were to get a group of people together and ask them to describe an orgasm, you would probably get a variety of answers. However, if you're looking for a more scientific definition, it's "the fourth stage [climax] of a sexual encounter," according to Healthline. The previous three stages are "anticipation, excitement, and plateau."
Although orgasms are something pretty much everyone wants to experience, 81.6% of women don't orgasm from intercourse alone, according to a study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy. However, there are many benefits that come from having an orgasm.
That's why we're going to look into how some are actually proven to benefit your relationship. Hopefully, all of these will not only inspire you to experience more intimacy with your partner but also serve as motivation to go for the gusto with absolutely no "faking it" on the agenda.
Stress, anxiety, and depression relief
According to the American Psychological Association, stress is considered to be a major health issue in the United States. More than 30% of individuals have difficulty working and dealing with day-to-day family stuff because of it, and a whopping 54% admit that stress causes them to fight with the individuals they care about. If you add to that the fact that stress is also a contributing factor to health issues like diabetes, obesity, heart disease, asthma, and cancer, it's important to be hyper-vigilant about finding ways to keep your stress levels to a minimum (via WebMD). And that's where orgasms come into play.
HuffPost reported that not only do orgasms help decrease stress levels, but they can also bring relief to depression-related symptoms. A big part of the reason is that climaxing increases oxytocin, a hormone that lowers stress. And, just like oxytocin can help to relieve stress, it can also decrease your anxiety levels as well. In fact, oxytocin especially has a positive effect on what is known as fear-related amygdala activity – stimuli activated by fear that can cause you to feel "frozen" or overly anxious.
Two people who feel less stressed or anxious are two people who will likely have an easier time maintaining their relationship. So, if you want to have a peaceful dynamic with your partner, orgasms are something that can help to make that happen.
More empathy
If there's one thing that every relationship needs in order to thrive and succeed, it's empathy. Empathy is essentially being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes in order to gain a better understanding of what they may be thinking or feeling.
Empathy can be broken up into two different types: affective empathy, which is when you can mirror someone else's feelings, and cognitive empathy, which is when you identify and understand other people's emotions. Both are beneficial in a romantic relationship. Additionally, sexual pleasure heightened for those who are naturally empathetic. "How people interact and their ability to listen to each other and take each other's perspective can really influence the sex that they have," Adena Galinsky, study researcher at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, told Live Science. This makes a lot of sense when you think about the fact that emotional reciprocity is one of the keys to a happy union (via Brides).
Improved communication
If you are in or have been in a serious relationship, it probably comes as no surprise to you that poor communication is a top reason many couples decide to call it quits (via HuffPost). Signs of poor communication in relationships include being passive-aggressive, not tackling issues head-on, being aggressive while having conversations by raising your voice, or being overly critical.
Learning how to communicate effectively, in many ways, is a lifelong learning experience. And sex can be an important factor. Women's Health shares that satisfying sex is often followed up with intimate "pillow talk." Plus, orgasms increase oxytocin, which makes you feel closer to your partner. "This pro-social hormone is linked with disclosing positive information due to the feelings of comfort and safety it produces," the publication explained, "which leads people to be less cautious with their words and let things 'slip out' that they normally wouldn't (which may explain tons of 'I love you' declarations made in an orgasm fog)."
Conceiving may be easier
If you were to ask your doctor about some of the things you could do to improve your chances of conceiving a child, they would likely first recommend getting a check-up to make sure you're in good health. They may also suggest downloading an ovulation app so that you can keep up with your cycle, being intentional about lowering your stress levels, exercising regularly, and having sex consistently (via WebMD).
"It's a common recommendation that partners trying to have a baby should engage in regular intercourse to increase the woman's chances of getting pregnant — even during so-called 'non-fertile' periods — although it's unclear how this works," Tierney Lorenz, a visiting research scientist at the Kinsey Institute, told ScienceDaily. However, a 2015 study has pointed to a potential link. "This research is the first to show that the sexual activity may cause the body to promote types of immunity that support conception," Lorenz further explained. Additionally, orgasms tend to boost oxytocin levels in your system, which can help sperm to transport through your reproductive organs easier and faster.
Increased spiritual connection
Although mindfulness can be defined in myriad ways, learning how to be present in the moment without focusing on judgment or projecting is perhaps the easier way to describe it (via Mayo Clinic). Many people achieve this through meditation, which is oftentimes considered to be a spiritual practice (via Healthline). Some couples also turn to orgasmic meditation, which is all about caressing your partner in a way that cultivates less stress, more relaxation, and a lot more happiness, according to Healthline.
Some also believe that orgasms can benefit your relationship by bonding you and your partner spiritually. The oxytocin increase that comes from climaxing can help you to open up your chakras and inspire gratitude for your partner and your relationship — both of these are tied to spirituality (via HuffPost). So, if you're looking for a bona fide way to connect more on a spiritual level in your relationship, orgasms are a proven way to do it.
Closeness with your partner
There are dozens of reasons a couple may find themselves experiencing a bit of an emotional disconnect. According to Psychology Today, a partner may want some alone time, one or both people may feel stressed out or overly criticized by their partner, or an individual may simply feel like they aren't in love like they used to be.
While it shouldn't be assumed that physical intimacy can automatically make everything better, there is quite a bit of research that says sex — and orgasms during sex — can make couples feel closer to each other. The main reason is thanks to oxytocin, yet again. Part of the reason why one of its nicknames is "the love hormone" is because it mentally and physically makes you feel closer to your partner. And when you experience an orgasm, a surge of that "love hormone" runs through your system (via Insider).
Sex is also responsible for creating an "afterglow" that can last as long as two days following the act (via Psychology Today). Feeling sexually fulfilled can make you feel satisfied within your relationship too — and that's no small thing!
A boost of happiness
American journalist Sydney J. Harris once said, "Happiness is a direction, not a place." However, Americans are the unhappiest that they've been in over 50 years (via NBC News). Such ones are often less optimistic about the future, internalize emotional and psychological stress, and experience feelings of loneliness.
With feelings of pleasure, contentment, and joy being harder for a lot of us to come by, it's always beneficial to happen upon a "hack" for happiness, right? One is to have as many orgasms as possible!
"Having an orgasm every day will make you feel happier," Astroglide TTC health advisor Dr. Draion M. Burch shared with Redbook. "Orgasms release dopamine, which makes you feel great. Daily orgasms can lower your stress levels, which will positively impact your wellbeing in more than one way." Something that's fun and will give you a "happy high" when you do it? Who doesn't want to immediately sign up for that?
Relationship longevity
If you're someone who happens to believe that there is an expiration date on an active sex life, think again. Plenty of data to support that as many as 40% of seniors still engage in sexual activity and a whopping 73% of people between the ages of 65 and 80 are quite satisfied with how their sex life is going (via WebMD).
That's why it actually shouldn't come as much of a surprise that it's not just younger women but also older women who have the most consistent orgasms. Something else that's pretty awesome is the fact that, for many older women, sexual satisfaction only increases with age.
Since many older people have completely fulfilling sex lives and sex is often better when you happen to be in a long-term relationship, it stands to reason that sex, and thus orgasms, are vital to a relationship's longevity. Indeed, Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a clinical psychologist based in New York City, told NBC News, "Sex is important in a relationship. When we are looking at the brain and hormonal benefits, orgasm releases oxytocin which is the 'feel good' hormone that bonds us. This is why, when couples begin to feel that they are drifting or growing apart, they're mostly likely to report a lack of sex."