Nearly 40% Of People Agree This Is The Worst Way To Break Up With Someone
We get it, being single can be rough. Dating around can be such a hassle, with all the apps and awkward first dates, it might seem like there's not much to look forward to; especially when many of us wish we could fast forward to cuddles on the couch and movie nights in our pajamas. But finding a life partner takes time. Per PR Web, data collected by author and matchmaker Hellen Chen reports that "over 85% of dating ends up in breakups."
Staying in a relationship that just isn't working anymore can actually be bad for your body — both physically and mentally. Forbes reports that being in a toxic relationship can cause health problems including depression, anxiety, and even an increased chance of heart problems. It's important to watch out for relationship red flags that can signal you might be headed for a breakup: if you find you can no longer trust your partner, you're constantly fighting, or you feel like you're the only one putting in any effort to make things work, it might be time to say goodbye.
Let's be honest: breakups are hard, and it can be difficult to let a person down easily. But is there really a right way or a wrong way to break the news to your soon-to-be ex? The List conducted a survey to get to the bottom of it, asking 558 people, "What's the worst way to break up with a partner?"
Five words we never want to hear: It's not you, it's me.
Ending a relationship will always be a tough conversation; it's hard to avoid the inevitable emotions that come with heartbreak. While no one likes being broken up with, there are definitely ways of receiving the news that can make it even worse. According to The List's survey, 37.28% of people agree that being cheated on is the number one most heartbreaking way to be broken up with. Surprisingly, it happens more often than you'd think: according to HackSpirit the LA Intelligence Detective Agency said that 74% of men and 68% of women would cheat if they knew they could get away with it.
Another 20.43% said that being ghosted is the worst way to break up: you have what you think was a great date, then you never hear from them again. You're left wondering what went wrong, never sure if you actually broke up or if they just disappeared. In third place with 15.59% of the vote was the ever-cliche break-up text. They couldn't even call to give you the bad news? Ouch.
10.57% of survey voters agree that the slow fade is most painful, while another 6.27% say blindsiding your partner is just cruel. Breaking up in public earned 9.86% of the vote, awkward not only for you, but for all the strangers around you who witnessed the dreaded "Can we still be friends?" question in the middle of dinner.
Is there really a right way to break up with someone?
While there's no perfect way to break up with someone, there is definitely a way to end the relationship respectfully. You don't want to lead your partner on if you're no longer interested, but you also don't want to completely blindside them with horrible news; it's all about timing and careful communication.
According to Bustle, it's important to initiate a breakup sooner rather than later; dragging out the relationship once you're not feeling it can be more painful in the long run. Having a conversation in person is usually the best, allowing you both to speak about your feelings. Be honest about your reasoning, but try not to directly attack your partner with insults and things they did wrong. Be clear with your intentions: phrases like, "I'm just not ready right now," and "If things were different," give them false hope that you could get back together in the future.
Even if you think you did everything right when breaking up, your partner might still have a bad reaction. They may be feeling hurt, confused, or even embarrassed, and they'll likely say and do things out of anger. While that's to be expected, remember you are not responsible for making them feel better, and your decision is not up for debate. Not every relationship will end happily ever after; if they have a horrible reaction, take it as a good sign that it's time to move on.